"WHAT ABOUT BOB?" Screenplay by Tom Schulman Story by Alvin Sargent and Laura Ziskin SHOOTING DRAFT OPENING CRAWL ON A BLACK SCREEN "Medical journals report only 31 cases in history of people swallowing their toothbrushes. The champion toothbrush swallower was a Soviet psychiatric patient who downed 16 in 1984. The all-time champion swallower of any object swallowed 2533 objects in 1927." ECU: A TOOTHBRUSH - CREDITS ROLLING We HEAR a man clearing his throat. He enters and a shiny glob of toothpaste is squeezed onto the bristles. INT. BOB WILEY'S BATHROOM, MORNING BOB WILEY, thirties, anxious, begins brushing his teeth. Suddenly, in trying to brush a back molar, Bob looses control of the toothbrush and swallows half of it whole. Choking, gasping, he tries to pull the toothbrush out. EXT. BOB WILEY'S APARTMENT BUILDING, SAME PAN and TILT up from a woman walking her dog on the streets of Manhattan to a third floor apartment window. There is Bob struggling frantically with the toothbrush. INT. BOB WILEY'S BATHROOM, MORNING Bob is losing the battle, and in three excruciating swallows, like a mouse going down the throat of a snake, the toothbrush disappears down his throat. Bob pounds his chest, swallowing as he does. Then, delicately, he belches. He takes a deep breath, relaxes somewhat, and opens the medicine cabinet. There sit ten packaged toothbrushes. Bob opens one. AS WE... END CREDITS... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. A PARKING LOT, LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, NEW HAMPSHIRE, DAY. AUTUMN Pricey BMW's, MERCEDES, etc. sport license plates which read: FREUD JUNGNRICH HEADDOC PERCA' DAN' etc. Three pre-teens ride by on bikes and shove the trunks of the cars. Car alarms sound off like birds. We PAN WITH THE KIDS then PAST THEM out to sea to see: EXT. THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE, ABOARD A CRIS CRAFT, SAME Four psychiatrists and three spouses are pleasure boating. Here all is quiet except the wind and the sound of the birds (or is it the car alarms?). Shrinks and their wives sit around an intense doctor in his forties. DOCTOR 1 (FEINBERG) I've had the same nightmare three nights running. DOCTOR 2 Come on, David, we're on a vacation. FEINBERG I'm leaving my office for summer vacation, when suddenly my patients rush up looking insane. EXT. A PARK AVENUE OFFICE BUILDING, DAY. DREAM-LIKE SLOW MOTION Dr. Feinberg exits the building with his suitcase. To his horror an angry horde of men and women, looking like a sadistic lynch mob, swarm him and attack. FEINBERG (V.O.) "Don't leave us!" they scream. Then they beat me and bite me and kill me...! As Feinberg runs to get away he is dragged down then overrun by his angry patients. BACK TO THE BOATS FEINBERG It's the worst nightmare I've had since residency. Night after night... it's terrifying! PHIL At least your nightmare is only a dream. What about what happened to Leo Marvin? A YOUNG DOCTOR Who's Leo Marvin? PHIL You never heard of the famous Dr. Marvin? ANGLE ON A VACANT LOT ON SHORE There is a dock, an overgrown slab, and a chimney. PHIL (O.S.) That used to be his vacation house. FEINBERG (O.S.) There's nothing there. BACK TO THE BOAT PHIL Grab a strong drink and some Dramamine. I'll tell you a story that will send you into Rorschach. ANOTHER WIFE Who's Leo Marvin? PHIL Well, I really can't tell you about Leo Marvin unless I first tell you about Bob. ANOTHER WIFE Who's Bob? EXT. THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN, UPPER WEST SIDE, DAY The SOUND of BIRDS segues to car alarms. We're on the streets of New York, CRANING and ZOOMING like a bird up and into a sweltering apartment. INT. BOB WILEY'S APARTMENT, SAME Bob Wiley sits on his bed in boxer shorts. On his night stand are cardboard plaques: one lists the warning signs of diabetes, another lists cancer's seven warning signals. Stacked by the bed are psychology books and a few bottles of prescription pills. In front of Bob is a vaporizer. Bob holds his cheeks and twists them in small circles in front of the steam. BOB (a mantra-like chant) I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful! I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful! I -- A WIFE (V.O.) But who's Leo Marvin? I know I've heard the name. DOCTOR 4 (V.O.) Was he the guy who specialized in necrophiliacs? PHIL (V.O.) No! (sighs) If you must. INT. A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE, DAY The striking thing about DR. LEO MARVIN's office is order and neatness. As Marvin talks on the phone, he unconsciously adjusts the already meticulously placed gewgaws on his desk. Marvin is mid-forties, authoritative, stiff, perfectly manicured. Adorning the office are diplomas, personal mementos, primitive masks, Mondrian-like paintings, his framed medical school grades, a bust of Freud, and diplomas. On his desk is a book titled Baby Steps TM with Marvin's picture on it. MARVIN (INTO PHONE) Of course I want to publicize the book, Hugo and it's a wonderful opportunity, but its my vacation. The Today Show went to Dr. Ruth's vacation house, why can't CBS Morning come to Lake Winnipesaukee?... Would you work on it?... Thank you Hugo. I appreciate it. SECRETARY'S VOICE (OVER INTERCOM) Dr. Marvin, there's a Dr. Carswell Fensterwald calling. He says you went to school together. MARVIN (wracking his memory) Fensterwald. Carswell Fensterwald. It sounds familiar but... They sure come out of the woodwork when you get famous, Clair. Put him through. FENSTERWALD (ON SPEAKER PHONE) Leo? MARVIN (INTO SPEAKER PHONE) Carswell? INT. ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE, SAME Carswell Fensterwald looks unstable. As he talks on his phone, he is boxing up his office. Prominent on his desk is a copy of Marvin's book. The conversation INTERCUTS. FENSTERWALD Long time no see, huh? You have a big book out. Things are clicking, huh? MARVIN That's the way I planned it. FENSTERWALD Listen, Leo, I'm closing my practice. Most of my patients are on the West Side but I have one case I'd like to refer you. MARVIN Carswell, thanks but -- FENSTERWALD I know, you're incredibly busy. MARVIN Swamped. I've raised my rate. I might even cut my sessions to forty minutes... FENSTERWALD Leo, I know you don't like flattery but if anybody I know is going to win a Nobel Prize, it's you. You gotta be thinking about your next book so I know you'll find this case particularly interesting. MARVIN What sort of case is it, Carswell? Marvin paces. He adjusts a diploma down, then up, then down. FENSTERWALD Actually, Leo, I don't know. MARVIN Carswell, if this is a dysfunctional -- FENSTERWALD No no, nothing like that. He keeps his appointments. Pays on time. See him once. If he's not the most complex and -- persistent -- case you've ever seen, drop him. His name's Bob Wiley. He needs someone brilliant. MARVIN Okay. I'll work him in for an interview. Say, Carswell, how come you're quitting the business? FENSTERWALD We're a dying breed, Leo. Good luck. Fensterwald hangs up. He lets out a silent jubilant howl of gleeful laughter. FENSTERWALD I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful! ANGLE IN MARVIN'S OFFICE Marvin slowly hangs up his speaker phone. MARVIN Carswell Fensterwald...? Again he racks his brains. He presses his intercom. MARVIN (INTO INTERCOM) Claire, if I get a call from a Bob Wiley, schedule him for a short interview after vacation. SECRETARY (CLAIRE) He's already called, Dr. Marvin. Twice. He's coming in this afternoon. MARVIN That's one kind of persistence. Carswell Fensterwald...? Marvin gives up. He picks up a copy of his book. He compares his jacket photo with his reflection in the handle of his letter opener. EXT. ABOARD THE CRIS CRAFT BOAT, DAY The shrinks are still listening to Doctor 3. FEINBERG Leo Marvin. Now I remember. An incredible asshole. DOCTOR 2 Had that stupid best seller, what was the name of it? FEINBERG Watching grass grow was more exciting than Leo Marvin. PHIL All that changed. DOCTOR 2 (V.O.) Why? PHIL (V.O.) That's what I'm trying to tell you lummoxes: Bob. INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, DAY Bob is sitting by the steam repeating his mantra. BOB I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful! I feel good, I feel great! I feel -- Bob picks up the phone and frantically pushes buttons. BOB (INTO PHONE) Hello, Claire, Bob again. Are you sure Dr. Marvin doesn't have an earlier cancellation?... Sorry. See you at two, sharp. Bob hangs up, finds a blood pressure gauge and takes his blood pressure. That done, he stands, paces, then stops and sprinkles food into a gold fish bowl. BOB Morning, Gil. GIL the GOLDFISH nibbles the food. Bob sits on his bed, takes a deep breath, then dials the phone. As he waits for an answer, he flips through his "organizer" which is crammed with notes and papers. SECRETARY'S VOICE (ON PHONE) Overton. BOB (INTO HEADSET) This is Bob Wiley calling... (checks in his notebook) Mrs. Patricia Lions please. Bob waits a beat, still looking through the notebook. MRS. LIONS (ON PHONE) Lions. BOB Mrs. Lions, I'm Bob Wiley. I represent the Manhattan Dental Hygiene Association. I can offer you a forty percent discount on our toothpicks plus a very attractive selection of toothpick holders if... MRS. LIONS Mr. Wiley -- BOB Bob. MRS. LIONS Bob, this is an elementary school. BOB Elementary school? (checks his notebook) I thought you were Overton Cafeteria? MRS. LIONS (ON PHONE) No, we're a school and we don't need toothpicks. BOB I don't know. A young tooth is a terrible thing to waste. I should know. When I was that age nobody gave a hoot about my teeth and now they're terrible! Have you checked out flavored floss? MRS. LIONS Flavored floss? BOB All you have to do is dream pink gums, Patsy, and we can make them happen. Give me your address and I'll send you our flossing catalogue. As Bob begins to write on his notebook, he flashes a "V" for victory at Gil. INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, LATER Bob is now dressed to go out. A clock reads 1:45pm. Bob is pacing at the door. He stops, glances at the clock, faces the door, opens it, closes it. He paces, opens the door, takes some deep breaths, twists his cheeks, then like a man jumping into cold water, bolts out. INT. THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE BOB'S APARTMENT, SAME Bob exits his apartment, uses a Kleenex to close the door, then heads down the stairs. EXT. THE DOORWAY TO BOB'S APARTMENT BUILDING, DAY Sweat pouring off his brow, Bob stands in sunglasses in the entrance-way to his apartment. A bus squeals up to the curb, belches smoke, then moves on. A garbage can is kicked over. Bob starts to take a step when suddenly he gets dizzy. He steps back and hyperventilates. Bob puts on a dust mask, steps bravely onto the sidewalk, and walks, eyes fixed forward. BOB I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. (repeats) A man passes Bob, eyes fixed forward. MAN Son of a bitch, dirty bastard, I'll get you! (repeats) EXT. THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN, DAY. LONG SHOT Bob walks through the city like a zombie, eyes fixed forward. INT. AN OFFICE BUILDING LOBBY, MANHATTAN, SAME Passers-by shuffle to and fro. Bob, still in sunglasses and dust mask, enters. He walks in a straight line to the building directory. He finds: "Dr. Leo Marvin, A Psychiatric Corporation, suite 4616." DOORMAN (O.S.) Help you? This startles Bob but he recovers. BOB I'm going to see Dr. Leo Marvin. DOORMAN Second elevator. 46th floor. BOB Elevator. Thanks. ANGLE ON THE ELEVATORS Bob removes a Kleenex from a pack in his pocket, uses it to push the elevator button, then paces nervously. The elevator arrives and the door opens. The elevator is filling up with passengers. Bob doesn't move. INT. A STEEL AND CONCRETE STAIRWELL, SAME We see a descending steel staircase and stairwell door marked "Floor 40". We hear footsteps -- rhythmic and determined -- getting closer and closer. BOB (O.S.) I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. (repeats over and over) INT. DR. MARVIN'S RECEPTION ROOM, DAY Clair sits behind her desk reading a book. Bob enters, red- faced and out of breath, taking his pulse. BOB Hi... I'm... Bob... INT. DR. MARVIN'S OFFICE, DAY Dr. Marvin is at his desk. Claire shows in Bob. BOB Dr. Marvin. Bob Wiley. Thank you for working me in. Claire exits. Bob looks around then notices a framed photo on Marvin's shelf. Using his Kleenex, Bob picks it up. He smiles. BOB Your family? (Marvin nods) Wait, let me guess. I'm good at this. Harriet, Kenny, Gretchen, Rita. Wait wait, I know I'm close. Susan, Steven, Andrea, Rita. Wait -- MARVIN (emotionless) My wife, Fay. My son, Sigmund. My daughter, Anna. My sister, Lily. BOB Lily... I was close! What a wonderful family! Bob puts the photo back on the shelf. Marvin adjusts it. MARVIN Thank you. BOB Do I call you Dr. Marvin or Leo? MARVIN Whichever you prefer. Have a seat. BOB Call me Bob. Bob stares at the chair. There is a box of Kleenexes on the arm. Bob reaches in his pocket, takes out a Kleenex, and uses it to move the box of Kleenexes to the table. He then sits. Marvin walks to Bob and holds out a trash can. Bob drops in the used Kleenex. BOB Thank you. Marvin puts the trash can next to Bob's chair then sits. He stares at Bob. He's waiting. BOB I guess I'm on, huh? (pause) Well, the simplest way to put it is, I have problems. I worry er, about diseases. I have trouble with toothbrushes. And I, er, I have problems moving. MARVIN Talk about moving. BOB As long as I'm in my apartment, I'm okay. I have a phone job -- selling dental supplies -- and that's fine. But when I have to go out, I get..., weird. MARVIN Talk about weird. BOB I get dizzy spells. Nausea. Cold sweats. Hot sweats. Fever blisters. Difficulty swallowing. Difficulty breathing. Blurred vision. Involuntary trembling. Dead hands. Weak ankles. Twitching. Fainting spells. Numb lips. (pause) Do you think that's normal? MARVIN That depends. Suddenly Bob removes an air sickness bag from his pocket. He opens it and pauses a long time as though he were about to vomit into it. He doesn't. He puts the air sickness bag away. Marvin leans in. Bob does too. MARVIN You do go out, you know. BOB I do? MARVIN You came here. BOB You're right! MARVIN What are you afraid of? BOB Well. What if I break my neck and become paraplegic? What if my heart stops beating, or I can't find a bathroom and my bladder explodes? You ever heard of Tourette's Syndrome. You know, where you involuntarily shout profanity? MARVIN That's exceptionally rare. BOB I have a neighbor who got it. Yells "oh shit!" in church. "Douche bag!" at customers at his job. Pretty funny, actually, unless you're the one with the disease. Then it's sad. (pause) OH SHIT EATING SON OF A BITCH! Just kidding. (pause) TWAT LOVING DOUCHE BAG! MARVIN Why are you doing this? BOB Sometimes, if I fake it, I know I don't have it. Like, when I think my heart is gonna stop. I fake it so I know it's not happening. Bob fakes a heart seizure -- very convincingly -- and falls to the floor. After a moment, he sits back in the chair as if nothing had happened. BOB If I can't make it happen, I know it's not happening. I know it's all in my mind. Marvin stands and walks towards Bob. BOB Get away from me with that knife! (laughs) See? Marvin uprights the trashcan and walks back to his seat. MARVIN Are you married? BOB Divorced, actually. MARVIN Want to talk about it? BOB The world is divided into two types of people: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him. MARVIN Um. BOB Dr. Marvin, do you think you can help me? There is a pause. Marvin leans in. MARVIN There's a saying, Bob, that the best psychiatrist in the world is right inside of you. I can help you, provided you're willing to help yourself. BOB Are you kidding, I'll do anything! Marvin stands and moves to the bookcase behind him. MARVIN There's a ground breaking book that just came out, Bob. Not everything in it applies to you but when you see the title, I think you'll see that it can help. There are twenty copies of Marvin's book on the shelf behind Marvin. Marvin holds one up. Bob sees the cover. We see the picture of Marvin on the back. BOB Baby Steps. MARVIN It means setting small, reasonable goals for yourself. One day at a time, one tiny step at a time -- do- able, accomplishable goals. BOB Baby steps. MARVIN When you leave this office, don't think about everything you have to do to get out of the building, just deal with getting out of the room. When you reach the hall, just deal with the hall. And so forth. Baby steps. Bob looks at Marvin then stands. BOB Baby step... through the office. Bob takes small deliberate steps to the door. He opens it and steps into the reception area. BOB (O.S.) Baby step... out the door. The door to the office closes. There is a long pause. Bob opens the door and pops back in. BOB It works! MARVIN Of course. BOB All I have to do is take one small step at a time and I can do anything! MARVIN Exactly. But don't expect everything all at once. Even a baby occasionally falls and hits his head. Bob walks around the room as though he were inhabiting each small space with his body. BOB Baby step around the office. Baby step around the office! (to Marvin's family photo) Fay, Sigmund, Anna, Lily: Hi fam! He's a genius! Marvin hands Bob the book. MARVIN This will give you plenty to digest while I'm on vacation. BOB Vacation? MARVIN Certainly my secretary told you. As of this afternoon, I'm on vacation with my family until Labor Day. BOB That's a whole month! What if I need you? What if I need to talk? MARVIN Dr. Harmon, my associate will be happy to talk. He hands Bob Harmon's card. MARVIN We have years ahead of us, Bob. A month will seem like a baby second. Marvin shows Bob the door. Bob, doing his baby steps, looks lost and confused. BOB Can I call you in the Hamptons if I need you? MARVIN Dr. Harmon is quite skilled. Bob shuffles to the door. BOB I hear Maine is great this time of year. Marvin turns over his book and shows Bob his picture. MARVIN I'll be with you the whole month. Try your baby steps. BOB Let's see... Baby step through the office. Baby step out the door. MARVIN That's perfect. Keep going... BOB (O.S.) Baby steps to the hall. Baby... Marvin closes the door and starts back to his desk. Momentarily, Bob sticks his head back in. BOB It's the Catskills, isn't it? MARVIN Bob... BOB Sorry. Baby steps. Baby steps... Bob exits, closing the door. Marvin starts to pick up Bob's trash can when Bob sticks his head in again. BOB You flying or driving? MARVIN Bob. (firmly re-assuring) I'll be back. Bob looks at Marvin then starts out. BOB Baby steps, he'll be back. Baby steps, he'll be back... Bob closes the door behind him. From his desk Marvin takes a plastic trash bag and dumps the contents of Bob's trash can into it. He picks up a small tape recorder and presses "record". MARVIN July 31, Bob Wiley, introductory interview. Multi-phobic personality characterized by an extreme need for family connections. Bill $150 for the session and $29.95 for the book. He clicks the tape recorder off. There is a knock on the door. MARVIN Bob... Claire puts her head in. CLAIRE It's your publicist. He says CBS will come to Winnipesaukee. Marvin strides triumphantly to the phone and lifts it up. MARVIN (INTO PHONE) I knew they'd come to me! Hugo, not to change the subject but has a psychiatrist ever won the Nobel Prize? INT. THE HALLWAY OF MARVIN'S OFFICE BUILDING, SAME Bob paces in front of the elevators, reading the book. BOB Baby step to the elevator. Baby step to the elevator. The elevator, full of passengers, opens. Bob, steps in. BOB Baby step to the elevator. Baby step to the elevator. The elevator doors close and it starts down. Bob screams. EXT. THE NEW YORK MARINE AIR TERMINAL, DAY Marvin and family (who we recognize from the pictures in Marvin's office) exit a cab with their luggage and head into the terminal. MARVIN Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry hurry hurry. They pass a HOMELESS MAN with a hand out. Marvin's wife FAY stops and roots in her purse. MARVIN Honey there isn't time. Fay gives the man some money then enters the terminal. MARVIN You're only encouraging them, Fay. INT. THE MARINE AIR TERMINAL, SAME The Marvin family hurries through the terminal. MARVIN Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry hurry hurry... Marvin's 16 year old daughter ANNA and 12 year old son SIGMUND rush with them. ANNA Daddy, would you cut it out? The family finds their gate and gets in line to board. There are ten people ahead of them and the plane isn't boarding yet. All haste stops as they drop their luggage to the floor. ANNA See? FAY Honey, I told you there was no rush. A nice looking BOY gets in line behind them and checks out Anna. She sees him and flips her hair. Siggy, dressed in all black, plays a video game on his watch. It beeps and blurps. FAY lovingly plucks a piece of lint off Marvin's jacket. Siggy looks up and plucks off another piece of lint. Marvin takes out an electronic organizer. He pushes buttons and it beeps. MARVIN Okay, how does this sound? Tomorrow: we'll go shopping and clean up the house. SIGGY Ooo, sounds great. MARVIN Wednesday we'll re-arrange the furniture and spruce up the lawn. SIGGY More, I gotta have more. MARVIN Thursday... Marvin clears his throat and smiles. FAY, ANNA, SIGGY (sing song) The interview with Maria Shriver. MARVIN (swelling with pride) I'm having some art brought up from the city. The cottage should look spectacular. Fay kisses Marvin on the cheek. FAY I'm sure whatever you do will look wonderful, honey. Marvin beams then goes back to his organizer. MARVIN After the interview we'll take a celebration sail around lake, then Friday -- my birthday -- we'll have wonderful meal at Digby's. Fay straightens Siggy's shirt tail. Momentarily, Siggy's watch lets out a staccato series of beeps. MARVIN Siggy, are you going to spend all summer driving us crazy with that? SIGGY It's not driving me crazy. ANNA Me either. Siggy continues his game. Fay touches Marvin on the hand to say, let it pass. Anna continues to flirt with the boy in line. Marvin pushes a couple of buttons on his organizer and it lets out three rapid beeps. Siggy smiles triumphantly at Marvin. SIGGY You gonna do that all summer? Marvin ignores this and puts the organizer away. ANNA Yeah, dad, huh? MARVIN Anna you're masking hostility. Marvin reaches in his briefcase and removes two HAND PUPPETS. One has the silk screened face of Anna, the other of Leo. Anna sees this and is incredibly embarrassed. ANNA (intense) Daddy, put those away! The line moves. Anna hurries into the ramp way. MARVIN Anna. Examine your behavior. Marvin and the family disappear into the ramp way. AIRPORT LOUDSPEAKER (V.O.) Dr. Leo Marvin, pick up the white courtesy phone. Dr. Leo Marvin, please answer the white courtesy phone. INT. A PHONE BOOTH, NEW YORK, DAY, CLOSE ON A long list of airline phone numbers with all but the last one crossed out. PULL BACK TO FIND: BOB standing at a pay phone, receiver to his ear. He has Kleenexes protecting his hand, his ear and his mouth. Outside the window is a hot dog stand. The vendor is serving up juicy hot dogs and Bob watches longingly. OPERATOR'S VOICE (OVER PHONE) I'm sorry, Bob. No one's answering the page. BOB (INTO PHONE) Thanks for trying. Bob hangs up and crumples the list. EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE THE PHONE BOOTH, SAME Still looking at the hot dogs, Bob shuffles out of the phone booth. He tosses his crumpled list at a trash can and misses. Even though there is litter on the street all around the trash can, Bob (using a Kleenex) picks up his list and puts it in the trash. He walks to the hot dog stand and watches. He wants a hot dog. VENDOR Can I help you, bub? BOB Bob. VENDOR Would you like a hot dog, Bob? BOB I sure would... The vendor buns a hot dog. VENDOR Mustard? BOB I sure would. VENDOR Sauerkraut. BOB I'd love it. The vendor holds out the dog. BOB But I can't. I really want to but I can't. It's bird intestine and beef brain. Bob looks at the dog with a mixture of desire and revulsion. He pulls out an air sickness bag, holds it ready, then puts it back. The vendor retracts the dog. VENDOR Hit the road, bub. BOB Bob. Bob moves on. INT. A SUNNY NEW YORK FLAT, DAY Bob, out of breath, knocks on the door. HELENE WILEY, a late middle aged woman draped in diaphanous scarves, opens the door. She carries a palette knife and palette of paint. BOB Hi, mom. HELENE Bob, you didn't walk up again? BOB I found this great psychiatrist who abandoned me. Helene turns and walks away. Bob follows her in. The next scene is played with Helene walking away and Bob following. They move through her apartment, dotted with finished and half-finished paintings on big canvases. HELENE Did you come here for money? BOB Mom, that's a terrible thing to ask. HELENE How do you like my latest? She stops in front of a BIG CANVAS covered with knives, spoons, forks, paint, and twenty dollar bills. Bob touches one of the twenties. It comes off in his hand. BOB It's lovely mom. Helene takes the twenty and puts it back. HELENE Bobby, please! BOB Mom, I'm sorry! All I wanted to do was talk. I'll go. She reaches out and embraces him. HELENE Oh my poor baby. How did you get so screwed up? BOB Oh, mom. HELENE You're the only thing I care about. Always will be. BOB Oh mom. They stand there hugging for a moment. HELENE I'm here for you, Bob. Anytime. BOB I love you, mom. She looks at him and lovingly straightens his hair. HELENE Go home, sweetie. I need to work. EXT. A STREET CORNER NEAR THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM, SAME Bob stands on the corner looking like a lost soul. He watches as the world passes by. The light changes. Looking both ways constantly, Bob crosses. BOB Baby step across the street. Baby step across the street... A "perfect little family" walks past him. A five year old girl and a three year old boy skip by, hand in hand. They wave at Bob. He waves back, sadly, then continues. BOB (affectless) I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. INT. A BABY DECORATED APARTMENT, DAY "Crackling Rose" by Neil Diamond plays on the stereo. BECKY, a perky woman, pregnant, about Bob's age, answers the door. Bob stands in the hallway. She's a little surprised. BECKY Hi. BOB Whoa!... You're really getting big. Bob gently puts his hand on Becky's belly. BOB What a bruiser. Hi little Bobby! BECKY (gently) Bob, he's not little Bobby. Feel the heartbeat? Bob puts his ear to Becky's belly and listens. Suddenly, he hugs Becky's tummy. BOB Oh, Becky, let's get married again. BECKY (pulling away) Bob. You know I'm married to some one else now. BOB (holding on) But I want a baby. A family! I want to burp him and change him and... love him! (pause -- lets go) Why couldn't it have been with me? BECKY Bob, honey, we've been over this. You as a father? Think about it. Bob sinks. Becky looks at him sympathetically. There is still a warm spot in her heart for him. BECKY You know I actually have considered naming him "Bob". BOB Really?! BECKY Yeah. But it's still going to be "Neil". BOB (recognizing Neil Diamond on the stereo) Right. INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, LATE AFTERNOON Bob sits alone watching Ozzie and Harriet. Ozzie is talking to Ricky, David, and Harriet. OZZIE We're a family. We'll always be a family. I don't care what they say about you at school, we've got each other and don't you ever forget it. The family hugs. The TV audience applauds. Bob picks up the phone and dials. SPLIT SCREEN with MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE a one room, two operator answering service. OPERATOR (BESSIE) (ON PHONE) Mid-Manhattan Exchange. BOB (INTO PHONE) This is Bob Wiley. I'm a patient of Dr. Marvin's. I need to talk to him. Urgently. BESSIE I'm sorry Mr. Wiley -- BOB Bob. BESSIE -- Bob, but Dr. Marvin is out of town and Dr. Harmon is taking his calls. BOB I don't want Harmon, I need Marvin! Bob paces then assumes a false calm. BOB Look, there seems to be some confusion. You see, Dr. Marvin, uh, Leo, wanted me to call him but I lost his number. BESSIE Bob. I can't give out that number. BOB But you could call him and ask him to call me. BESSIE It's awfully late. Bob is silent. Bessie is uncertain. BESSIE Stay on the line, Bob. What's your number in case we get disconnected? EXT. MARVIN'S VACATION HOUSE PORCH, LATE AFTERNOON We recognize this as the same lake the doctors were sailing in the opening scene: gorgeous greenery, the shore lined with quaint but expensive summer homes. Where the doctors in the boat saw an empty slab, stands the Marvin summer house, a clapboard structure complete with a private dock, old wooden motorized rowboat, and diving board. Marvin is relaxing in a chair. Fay is in the background putting out flowers. Marvin takes a deep breath, sighs peacefully then picks up a book: Freud's Understanding Dreams and opens it. The phone rings. Marvin frowns, then answers. TRIPLE SCREEN WITH BESSIE AND BOB AND MARVIN MARVIN Yes? BESSIE Dr. Marvin, this is Bessie at your exchange. I'm sorry to disturb you but I have a Bob Wiley on the line who says you'll want to talk to him. MARVIN You know better than this, Bessie. Dr. Harmon is covering for me. BESSIE I told him that, Doctor, but he insists on talking to you. He says it's an emergency. Marvin frowns then takes a deep breath. MARVIN Put him through. BESSIE Go ahead, Bob. BACK TO DOUBLE SPLIT-SCREEN Bob's frantic pacing contrasts with Marvin's calm. MARVIN Bob, I thought I made it clear to you that I'm on vacation. BOB I know, but I'm a mess. Worse than usual. MARVIN Bob, if this is an emergency, go to the emergency room. If not, call Dr. Harmon and I'm sure he can help you. BOB I'd feel better if I just knew where you were. It's Martha's Vineyard right? MARVIN Bob. BOB Couldn't we just talk? MARVIN In my office, after Labor Day. BOB Fire Island? MARVIN Good night, Bob. Marvin hangs up. SINGLE SCREEN. Bob hangs up too. He stands and thinks then dials again. SPLIT SCREEN WITH MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE. BOB Hi, this is Bob. Leo and I got cut off. BESSIE I'm sorry, Bob, but Dr. Marvin just called and instructed me not to put you through. BOB What? Bob stands thinking. INT. A MANHATTAN PAY PHONE BOOTH, NIGHT A mid-twenties PROSTITUTE, overly made up, is on the phone. SPLIT SCREEN again with MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE. BESSIE Mid-Manhattan exchange. PROSTITUTE (INTO PHONE) Hello, this is Lily Marvin, Dr. Leo Marvin's sister. I have to talk to my brother right away. BESSIE (skeptical) I'm not allowed to give out that number. Don't you have it? A PULL BACK REVEALS BOB standing beside the prostitute, wearing his face mask, waiting anxiously. Bob whispers in the prostitute's ear. She nods. PROSTITUTE (INTO PHONE) He went on vacation and forgot to give it to me. Look, honey, it's urgent. I'm at: 790-8864. She reads the number off the pay phone. Bessie reacts to the fact that it's a different number from Bob's. She shakes her head and sighs. BESSIE Stay on the line, Miss Marvin. The prostitute hands the phone to Bob. He sprays the phone with disinfectant then hands her some money. BOB Thanks. You were fantastic. The prostitute shakes her head and walks away. INT. MARVIN'S VACATION HOUSE DINING ROOM, NIGHT The moonlit lake is in the far background. In the near background the Marvin family sits eating dinner. Marvin holding the telephone, looking concerned, walks off by himself. MARVIN Lily? What's wrong? SPLIT SCREEN WITH Bob, standing at his pay phone. He cringes. BOB Dr. Marvin, please don't be angry. It's Bob. I know I shouldn't call this way but -- MARVIN Bob, listen to me. The doctor-patient relationship is based on trust. When you call me against my wishes or pretend to be my sister, I can't trust you any more. BOB I know but-- MARVIN Call Dr. Harmon, or go to the emergency room, but don't call me here again. Marvin hangs up. BACK TO SINGLE SCREEN. Bob stands in the phone booth, banging his hand on his head. BOB Oh that wasn't smart! Oh that wasn't smart... He walks out of the booth shaking his head. He exits screen left. Momentarily he crosses back through screen, muttering to himself. INT. THE MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE, NIGHT Bessie sits at her switchboard, reading a regency romance. The operator, GWEN, is doing her nails. There is a knock on the door. The operators look at each other, go to the door, but don't open it. BESSIE (INTO THE DOOR) Who is it? VOICE ON PHONE (FROM WITHOUT) Detective Roberts. Homicide. GWEN What do you want? DETECTIVE ROBERTS (FROM WITHOUT) I have some questions about a Bob Wiley. BESSIE (to Gwen) That was that sicko who kept calling Dr. Marvin. (loud) What about him? She opens the door. Detective Roberts is Bob. BOB AS DETECTIVE ROBERTS He's dead. BESSIE Oh my god. What happened? BOB Suicide. We think. Forty stories. Free fall. Splat. The operators gasp. BOB Now our records show that Bob made several calls to this number just before he died. Did either of you know Bob personally? BESSIE Bob called here trying to reach his psychiatrist. BOB That's interesting. What happened? OPERATOR I put him through once. After that, Dr. Marvin didn't want to talk to him again. BOB Uh HUH. BESSIE Wait a minute. Dr. Marvin couldn't have had anything to do with Bob's death. BOB Oh? Why not? BESSIE Dr. Marvin's on vacation. BOB Ah. GWEN Out of state. Lake Winnipesaukee. BOB Michigan? BESSIE New Hampshire. BOB Right. BESSIE We're not supposed to give out the number but I can call him and... BOB That's okay. I'm sure we can find him if we need him. Bob writes down the information as he walks to the door. BESSIE God, I feel terrible. What if I was the last person he talked to before he died? BOB I frankly wouldn't let it bother me. This guy had "sky diver" written all over him if you know what I mean. Bob closes the door behind him. EXT. THE ANSWERING SERVICE HALLWAY, SAME Bob almost throws up then puts the air sickness bag away again. He takes a deep breath, smiles to himself, then exits. INT. MARVIN'S SUMMER HOUSE BEDROOM, NIGHT Marvin and Fay are asleep in bed. The phone rings. Fay turns on the light. MARVIN That'd better not be who I think it is. Marvin answers the phone. Fay listens. MARVIN (INTO PHONE) Hello... What?... That's okay. Thanks for calling, Bessie. Marvin hangs up. He sits, stunned. MARVIN That was my service. That patient -- the one who called earlier -- committed suicide. FAY Oh Leo, how horrible. Fay rubs Marvin's neck. There is a long pause. MARVIN Oh well. Let's not let it ruin our vacation. Marvin turns out the light and lies down. INT. A BUS STATION, MORNING Bob wears bermuda shorts and baseball cap. In one hand, like a security blanket, he clutches a paper bag spilling over with clothes, bottles of pills, and Baby Steps. In the other hand he clutches a baggie holding Gil. Eyes fixed ahead, Bob stares at: A BUS looming large like a growling grumbling snorting monster. BUS EMPLOYEE APPROACHES BUS EMPLOYEE This is the last bus to Winnipesaukee, Bob. BOB How many tunnels does it pass through again? How many bridges? BUS EMPLOYEE If you keep your eyes closed, you won't see any of them. You ready? BOB Baby steps, board the bus. Baby steps, board the bus. Bob looks at the bus again. He tips his bottle of pills and swallows. He takes a small baby step towards the bus. BUS EMPLOYEE You think you could do it today, Bob. We have a baby schedule to keep. BOB Baby step, board today. Baby step, board today. Bob inches into the bus. INT. THE BUS, SAME A bus driver sits ready to go. Bob walks like a cripple down the aisle to an empty seat. BOB Baby step, down the aisle. Baby step, down the aisle. The passengers, a scurvy bunch, wait impatiently. Bob finally takes a seat next to an old man and smiles nervously. BOB Hi. I'm Bob. The old man scowls and looks forward. The bus driver closes the door and the bus moves forward with a jolt. BOB Ah!! (turns to the old man) Would you knock me out, please?! Hit me in the face, whatever you have to do, just knock me out! The old man moves away. Bob downs more pills. INT. THE HOLLAND TUNNEL, DAY The bus speeds through. We HEAR a long, loud SCREAM. EXT. THE MARVIN PORCH, DAY Marvin lies down in the hammock and picks up his book. Fay enter. FAY Honey, let's go to the store. EXT. THE OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, DAY The Greyhound bus stops. Bob gets out and runs into a field. He apparently vomits, then runs back to the bus. INT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE GENERAL STORE, DAY The Marvin family strolls through this old fashioned General Store, loading food and supplies into a shopping cart. They're all in shorts and looking resorty except for Siggy who is in his usual all-black garb. Through the windows, outside, we can see the quaint little town of Winnipesaukee. MARVIN Hugo said to expect eleven. Are you sure we have enough? FAY We could feed the entire network, honey. Relax. Anna joins them and tosses in some cookies. MARVIN (to Anna) By the way, did you call Ted Fein? ANNA Why? He's a salami with eyes. MARVIN I thought he was cute. ANNA How would you know a boy is cute? Are you coming out of the closet? FAY Anna. Be nice. (she fixes Anna's collar) MARVIN (calmly) She's just testing us, Fay. But don't get psycho-sexual with me young lady. ANNA Me? When you want me to call some guy cause his father's your publicist? SIGGY Yeah, dad. Don't be a psychosexual pimp. FAY Siggy, don't talk that way to your father. MARVIN They're both testing us, Fay. Don't buy into it. SIGGY Yeah, mom. It's not meant for you, it's meant for dad. (at his father) Testing. 1, 2, 3. Testing. EXT. THE BUS STOP ACROSS FROM THE GENERAL STORE, DAY A GREYHOUND BUS pulls to the bus stop. Passengers hurry off, anxiously glancing behind them. Finally Bob, covered in sweat, exits. Holding his bag and fish, squinting to adjust to the sun, he stands in a daze as the bus pulls away. After a long pause, Bob calls out. BOB Dr. Marvin! Dr. Leo Marvin! Bob waits. Passers-by turn and stare. There is no Leo Marvin in sight. BOB Dr. Marvin! Dr. Leo Marvin! EXT. THE GENERAL STORE, SAME The Marvin family exits carrying groceries. They stop at the family station wagon and begin loading up. BOB (O.S.) Dr. Leo Marvin. Dr. Leo Marvin. FAY Leo, is somebody calling you? MARVIN I didn't hear anything. BOB (O.S.) Leo Marvin. Dr. Leo Marvin! Everyone looks around. FAY Over there. Marvin turns and sees Bob. MARVIN Oh my god... I don't believe it. AT THE BUS STOP Bob looks in all directions. Suddenly he sees Marvin. BOB Dr. Marvin. It's you!! Bob walks toward the Marvins. MARVIN stands dumfounded. He watches Bob walking towards them. He tries to stay calm. MARVIN Everybody get in the car. FAY Do you know that man, Leo? BOB Dr. Marvin! It's me, Bob! MARVIN (intense) Get in the car. Fay is surprised to see Leo so forceful. She hustles the kids into the station wagon. Bob hurries up, out of breath. In one hand he holds his bag. In the other he holds Gil in a baggie. Marvin closes the station wagon door and stands outside. BOB Hi! This is Gil. It must be fate that I found you so quickly! Bob stops and stands, a little out of breath. BOB Is this a bad time? MARVIN What are you doing here? I thought you were..., dead. BOB Oh no, they told you? I fibbed a little but... Don't be mad. (spotting the family in the car) Oh... A sweet beatific smile appears on Bob's face. He sighs. BOB The fam. Marvin leads Bob away from the car, across the street. EXT. ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE PARKING LOT, SAME Marvin stops and faces Bob. MARVIN I think you know, Bob, that your behavior is entirely inappropriate. We talked about trust. We talked about my needs. I want you to get on a bus and go back to New York. BOB You're angry. MARVIN I don't get angry. BOB You're upset. MARVIN I don't get upset. BOB Then can't we just talk? MARVIN I don't see patients on vacation, Bob. Ever. How many ways can I make that clear? BOB But you can't just send me away! I've read your book, I've been doing what you told me, but I've completely relapsed! A little time would mean so much. Please. MARVIN Bob, I'm driving away now and I don't want you to bother me again. You came for my advice, correct? BOB Absolutely. MARVIN Then take my advice and go back to New York. BOB But I can't go anywhere! I'm all locked up! MARVIN You got yourself here. BOB Barely! MARVIN Getting back will therapeutic. Bob starts begging. BOB Please just talk to me. Just a little talk. MARVIN You're testing my patience, Bob. BOB A teeny tiny talk. An itty bitty talk... ANGLE FROM INSIDE THE CAR, WHAT THE FAMILY SEES Bob is kneeling in front of Marvin. BOB Pretty please... Pretty please with sugar... The family exchanges quizzical looks. BACK TO BOB AND MARVIN Marvin looks around, incredibly embarrassed. He tugs at the kneeling Bob. MARVIN (gritted teeth) Get up. Come on, get up. BOB (standing) Say you will. Please, say you will. Marvin looks at his watch. MARVIN Bob, it's two o'clock. Go to the bus station, buy a ticket home, then wait in that restaurant. He points to "GUTTMAN'S" coffee shop. BOB You'll meet me?! MARVIN I'll call you. (looks at his watch) In two hours. BOB Oh my god, you're the greatest! Bob moves to hug Marvin and Marvin reluctantly lets him. MARVIN But you must buy your ticket and give your word that you'll go home. This is all about trust again, Bob. We must have trust. BOB I trust. I absolutely trust. I'll go buy my ticket. Right now! MARVIN I'll call you at four. BOB You couldn't possibly make it three thirty, could you? MARVIN Bob... BOB Four it is. Four o'clock exactly. Thank you, Dr. M. Bob starts across the parking lot as Marvin gets in the car and closes the door. INT. THE MARVIN FAMILY STATION WAGON, SAME As the car pulls out of the parking lot, Marvin's family turns to look at Bob. Bob smiles and waves at the family. FAY Leo, you look disturbed. MARVIN I'm fine. FAY Who was that poor man? MARVIN Nobody. Anna is looking out the back window at Bob. She waves. ANNA He's cute. Marvin hits the accelerator, leaving rubber. INT. GUTTMAN'S COFFEE SHOP, LATER An ELDERLY COUPLE tend to the counters and glasses. Bob paces by the phone, reading Baby Steps to himself. The clock on the wall reads three o'clock. BOB Baby step to four o'clock. Baby step to four o'clock. Bob covers his eyes then looks at the clock. No luck. Frustrated, Bob paces again. BOB I feel good, I feel great, I feel four o'clock! Again he looks at the clock: three-o-one. The elderly couple watch. They speak with thick European accents. ELDERLY WOMAN (MRS. GUTTMAN) Sonny, your fishy's losing air. BOB Huh? ELDERLY MAN (MR. GUTTMAN) Your guppy. Bob looks at Gil. The baggie is dripping. BOB Oh. Thanks. Bob looks for something to do about the dripping baggie. Mr. Guttman brings a glass and dumps Gil in. BOB Thank you. MR. GUTTMAN Is there something we can help you with? BOB Can you make it four o'clock? Dr. Marvin's supposed to call me then but I'm going crazy. MRS. GUTTMAN Not Dr. Leo Marvin? BOB Do you know him? MRS. GUTTMAN He bought our dream house. We worked a lifetime, saved up for a down payment, then he swooped down with his fancy schmancy lawyers and grabbed it out from under us. MR. GUTTMAN Stay as far away from him as possible. MRS. GUTTMAN Like the plague. BOB No problem. I'm his patient but he doesn't want me near him. MR. GUTTMAN We'll show you where he lives. EXT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME Marvin and Siggy march to the end of the Marvin dock. There is a diving board. Siggy stands in a black terry robe and flip flops. MARVIN Take off your robe. Everything you wear is black. I wish you'd get off this death fixation. Siggy reluctantly takes off his black robe. Under it he wears a black t-shirt and black bathing suit. SIGGY How do you know it's a death fixation? Maybe I'm in mourning for my lost childhood. MARVIN What do you mean by that? SIGGY What do you mean by asking? MARVIN Come on, get on the board and let's see your approach. SIGGY (striking a pose) My approach is to be suave and debonair and sophisticated. MARVIN Come on, Siggy. 1, 2, 3 spring. Like we learned last time. 1, 2, 3, spring. Siggy reluctantly mounts the board. He stands, feet together, then takes a step with his right foot. SIGGY 1, 2, 3 spring. 1, 2, 3 summer. 1, 2, 3 fall. Time to go dad. MARVIN Cut it out, Siggy. Left foot... SIGGY This is no fun. Siggy sighs then starts again. He awkwardly takes two steps then stops at the end of the board, staring into the water, afraid to dive. MARVIN Why didn't you dive? SIGGY With all the horror that's going on in the world, what difference does it make? INT. MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME The decor is New England cottage-y with a strong dose of Leo Marvin: incredibly ordered. On a pedestal is a bust of Sigmund Freud. On the mantle sit the family puppets: -- Anna, Siggy, Fay, and Leo. Anna is at the family stereo, selecting a CD. Fay is on the chordless phone at the kitchen window, giving milk to some stray cats. FAY (INTO PHONE) Of course I'm excited Ellie. The last person they interviewed on vacation was Dr Ruth. Siggy enters and walks upstairs. Marvin enters and heads to the living room chair. Fay hangs up. FAY He didn't dive. MARVIN No. FAY He's a little afraid of it, dear. Have patience. MARVIN It's not like I'm making him jump out of an airplane. When I was growing up, I thought diving was fun. ANNA I thought you were born grown up. Marvin stares at Anna. She puts on raucous heavy metal. MARVIN You're masking hostility, Anna Marvin. Turn that down. ANNA It's full of Freudian symbols, dad. It's educational. Marvin turns down the volume, sits in his big easy chair, then takes a deep breath. He picks up Freud's Understanding Dreams. Anna puts on headphones and dances around wildly. Marvin tries to read. Suddenly a face appears in the window. It is Bob. He sees Marvin and taps on the window. Marvin looks up and sees Bob. MARVIN What the...? (he bolts to the front door) What are you doing here? Bob stands holding Gil (in the glass) and his bag. BOB I'm sorry. Don't be mad. The Guttmans brought me. Bob turns and waves at the Guttmans who are walking into an OLD TRAILER that occupies next lot. BOB Thank you Mr. and Mrs. G.! MRS. GUTTMAN Your welcome, Bobby, Hello, Dr. Marvin! The Guttmans wave. Marvin waves back. MRS. GUTTMAN Burn in hell, Dr. Marvin! Marvin's hand falls. The Guttmans enter their trailer. Marvin turns to Bob. MARVIN We agreed that I would call you. Your coming here is unbelievably inappropriate. Anna comes to the door. ANNA Hi. I'm Anna. BOB I saw your picture. I'm Bob. Fay comes to the door. BOB Hi. I'm Bob. FAY I'm Fay. BOB Oh, Mrs. M. You're even prettier than your picture. FAY Why thank you. MARVIN (through his teeth) Bob, I think you and I have some things to talk about. BOB You do? You finally think so too?! MARVIN (to Fay) Would you excuse us, dear? FAY Bob, may I take your fish? Bob hands Gil to Fay and she walks into the kitchen. Anna just stands there. MARVIN Anna. Anna rolls her eyes and follows her mother. ANNA Nice to meet you, Bob. BOB You too. Marvin leads Bob away. Bob sees the puppets on the mantle. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE STUDY, SAME Bob and Marvin enter the downstairs study. Marvin indicates for Bob to take a seat. BOB Great place. No wonder the Guttmans wanted it. I really feel bad about barging in like this. MARVIN Forget it. I understand. BOB You do? MARVIN Of course I do. Your problems don't go away just because I go on vacation. They've been with you a long time after all. BOB Ever since I can remember. MARVIN On the other hand, you're making strides. You got here. BOB I baby stepped. I owe it to you. Bob smiles. Marvin stares at Bob for a long time then: MARVIN Bob, take a look around you. What does everything you see have in common? BOB Er... I don't know... It's all owned by you, that's obvious. Humm... Everything's from a garage sale! There is a long pause. Marvin stares at Bob. MARVIN Vacation, Bob. Everything you see is part of a vacation. Every year, for one month, I bring my family to this house on vacation. Nice, isn't it? BOB It's wonderful. The lake. The trees. The little town. MARVIN Do you know what the point of a vacation is? Do you understand the meaning of the word? BOB Sure. MARVIN You forget about your troubles. You give up your worries. You drink from the wellspring of relaxation that enriches your soul. (pause) Now I can't, at this time, give you the kind of therapeutic attention that you need to solve all your problems. Know why? BOB Er, because you're on vacation? MARVIN Excellent. But what I can do -- and only I can do this because you trust me don't you Bob? BOB Why else would I be here? MARVIN Exactly. What I can do is this. Marvin goes to a drawer and pulls out a prescription pad. He writes. MARVIN Get on your bus and go back to New York. Every time a problem comes up, follow this prescription. BOB (holds up his bag) I don't need pills. I have plenty of pills. Marvin tears off a prescription sheet and hands it to bob. MARVIN It's not pills. Read it. BOB (taking it) It says: "A vacation from my problems." MARVIN I'm giving you permission to take a vacation, Bob. Not a vacation from your work. Not a vacation from your daily life. But a vacation from... BOB My problems. MARVIN Every time you feel a problem coming on, take that out and follow it to the letter. Doctors orders. BOB Doctors orders. Marvin stands. MARVIN I'm glad you came. I'll see you in my office next month. BOB That's it? MARVIN You came here for relief, Bob. Read your prescription. Bob stands a moment, looking at his prescription. BOB This is... INCREDIBLE! This is ASTOUNDING!! For the first time since Menningers I feel free! I knew coming up here was the right thing to do! MARVIN It feels right because you're here and because you're leaving. Bob comes over and hugs Marvin. BOB You've given me a great gift, doctor. The gift of life. You're a great man. EXT.-INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DAY Marvin opens the door for Bob. MARVIN If you have any questions, call Dr. Harmon. BOB Have a great vacation! MARVIN You too. BOB A vacation from my problems. You bet I will! Bob exits. Marvin closes the door and looks up at the ceiling. He takes a deep breath then turns back into the room. There is a knock at the door. MARVIN (AT THE DOOR) Yes? BOB (FROM WITHOUT) It's Bob. I forgot Gil. Marvin opens the door. BOB My fish. MARVIN Oh. Right. Bob strides into the kitchen and takes his fish. Sigmund, now in his clothes, enters from upstairs. BOB You must be Sigmund. MARVIN Siggy, this is Bob. He's just leaving. SIGGY Hi. BOB Hi. This is Gil. My fish. SIGGY Cool. Did you get him out of the lake? BOB No. He's a city fish. SIGGY Cool. BOB Your father is the most incredible psychiatrist in the world! You better appreciate him. He strides to the door then turns wistfully. BOB Have a great vacation, fam. MARVIN You too, Bob. SIGGY Nice to meet you. EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESAUKEE, DAY Bob walks down the country lane. Crickets chirp. BOB Vacation from my problems. Take a vacation from my problems. A baby stepping, lazy stepping vacation from my problems. Bob falls into a rhythm, almost a little jig as he walks. LONG DISSOLVE TO: EXT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, MORNING Roosters crow in the new day. INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, SAME Marvin, Fay and Siggy stand frozen, like artist's models, staring at something. Is this suddenly a Godard movie? Are we now in a Becket play? Finally: MARVIN It's too close to the wall. SIGGY Who cares? Marvin moves to the couch and pulls it out from the wall about three inches. MARVIN I care, and you should too. Our house is going on national television tomorrow. You want your friends to think you live in a dump? SIGGY My friends would respect me for it. MARVIN You know, there's nothing wrong with neatness. People joke but it's actually a sign of a creative intelligence. Right, Fay? FAY In isolated cases, sure. MARVIN What is that supposed to mean? FAY The room looks wonderful, dear. Fay pecks him on the cheek and walks into the kitchen. Siggy follows. Ditto Anna who starts cooking pancakes. MARVIN Seriously, what do you mean by that? He gets no answer from the rest of the family who look at each other and smile. ANNA You're incredibly creative, daddy. Marvin goes back to making minuscule adjustments: adjusting diplomas, etc. At the front door is a knock. MARVIN I'll get it. It's probably the van with my art. Checking out his "set" as he goes, Marvin opens the door. It's Bob. BOB Good morning! I'll bet you're surprised to see me! MARVIN STANDS DUMFOUNDED BOB When I walked out of here last night I said to myself, "Dr. Marvin's absolutely right. Take a vacation from your problems. Blow em off. Just say 'no'." So I did! MARVIN But... You're back. BOB No I'm not. MARVIN You're not?! BOB Of course not. I'm taking a vacation. This isn't an appointment, I'm dropping by. I told the Guttmans what you said and they found me a cottage nearby. MARVIN No... BOB Yeah, the town is packed but I guess if you know the right people... Anyway, I know we can't work but let's get the friendship thing going. Marvin is absolutely flabbergasted. BOB I'm a little anxious about being here by myself but I don't want to barge in. I'll call. Give my best to the fam and see ya around, okay? Bob walks away. Marvin closes the door. He stands there for a long time. FAY Who was that, Leo? MARVIN Nobody. SIGGY Again? There is a knock on the door. Marvin opens it. BOB I almost forgot, here's your newspaper. See ya. Marvin takes the newspaper and closes the door. ANNA Wasn't that Bob? There is another knock on the door. It's Bob. BOB You guys up for going out to breakfast? MARVIN No! BOB Eating in. I admire that. Marvin slams the door in Bob's face. ANNA That was Bob! I thought you said he left town? MARVIN I did. I said exactly that. Anna moves to the front door, after Bob. Marvin grabs her arm and leads her to the kitchen. MARVIN And I don't want you letting him in this house. ANNA Daddy, you're hurting me! Anna wrenches her arm away. ANNA What's your problem? MARVIN I don't have a problem. Fay walks in. FAY Honey, who is that man? MARVIN Nobody, Fay. Nothing to get excited about. A work related problem just went away. (smiles nonchalantly) It's fine. He strolls off into the kitchen. Anna rubs her arm. ANNA I've never seen him like this. FAY (low) If you want to know, I think your father is nervous about going on national television tomorrow. Freud himself would be anxious so let's be supportive, okay? ANNA He should go punch some pillows. SIGGY Or get shock treatment. FAY Remember that he's under pressure. MARVIN (FROM THE KITCHEN) Flap jacks! EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESALRKEE, DAY Bob walks down the empty country lane. Crickets chirp. BOB Vacation from my problems. Take a vacation from my problems. There's nothing to fear, there's nobody here. Nothing to fear (he suddenly panics) THERE'S NOBODY HERE! He starts running and screaming. EXT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, MORNING TWO MEN from a van are bringing in the art from Marvin's office. Marvin is using a weed trimmer to spruce up the shrubs to within an inch or their lives. Anna, in a bathing suit, sunglasses, and skimpy cover-up exits the house, gives her father a good-bye peck on the cheek then gets in the family station wagon. MARVIN Where are you off to? ANNA Sailing. MARVIN With Teddy Fein? ANNA No. George Stark. The boy from the plane. MARVIN It's a quarter mile to the marina. Why do you need the car? ANNA I'm picking everybody up. She starts the car and backs out. MARVIN Stay out of the sun! Remember what's happening to the ozone layer. EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESAUKEE, DAY Bob is running in a panic. Anna drives by and sees him. ANNA Bob! Anna hits the brakes and slows next to Bob. He breaks to a slow trot. ANNA Hi! Where you going? BOB Just to... town. (pause) Buy some..., Kleenex. ANNA Want a ride? BOB I don't think your dad would like you picking me up. ANNA He wouldn't like a lot of things. Hop in. Bob hesitates then gets in. INT. THE MARVIN STATION WAGON, SAME Anna drives. Bob puts on his seat belt. BOB He seemed pretty upset this morning. ANNA He's nervous about the interview. BOB Interview? ANNA Maria Shriver's coming tomorrow to talk about his book. BOB Wow... so that's the problem! And I thought he was upset about me! ANNA Well he's always uptight, even when it doesn't show. BOB He is? ANNA Sure. Imagine growing up with a dad who sees every stage of growing up as a Freudian passage. Did you ever have crayons? BOB Sure. ANNA Fat or skinny? BOB Er, skinny, I think. ANNA (warning tone) Uh oh. BOB What do you mean? ANNA Dad saw crayons as phallic symbols. When I asked for skinny crayons, it was a personal assault on his manhood. BOB What'd he do, buy a Porsche? Anna laughs. ANNA I wish! He just kept psychoanalyzing everything. My dolls were alter egos. Boys who wanted to kiss me were Oedipally fixated adolescents looking to displace their mothers on their aboriginal family totems. BOB Sounds like my friends to a tee. (a beat) You seem to be doing okay now. ANNA Hardly. I analyze everything to death. Every time a guy smiles at me, I ask myself is he really smiling or is he just orally fixated? When I smile back, I wonder, am I really attracted or just smiling out of some residual Cro-Magnon instinct? If I ever actually have sex, I'm not sure I'll know the difference between an orgasm and an anxiety attack! BOB I have the same problem. ANNA The kinds of urges other girls act on impulsively, I analyze until either the urge goes away or -- BOB Or what? ANNA The boy goes away. Long pause. BOB Well. It sounds like your dad never learned to leave his work at the office. ANNA Lot of good it does me! BOB You'll make some man very happy someday. This hangs in the air. Anna looks at Bob. ANNA What are you doing today? BOB Buying Kleenex. ANNA Wanna come sailing? BOB Well, I... I, er... ANNA That's okay. You don't have to. Bob looks at Anna. He sees her attraction to him and it makes him nervous but he doesn't want to reject her. He looks down shyly. BOB Actually, it's not that I don't want to go. It's just that I've never been on a boat and I'm not sure I can handle it. ANNA There's nothing to it. George Stark's doing the sailing. BOB Just thinking about gives me hives. EXT. GEORGE STARK'S DAY SAILBOAT, DAY. CLOSE ON BOB Standing next to the mast, his hair blowing in the wind. BOB You're right, this is great! I never actually thought I could do this. I never thought this could be me! PULL BACK TO REVEAL That Bob, wearing life preservers on his body and legs, is wrapped onto the mast from chest to toe with ropes. Anna, George Stark (from the airport) and a few other kids sit around enjoying the sail. EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, DAY Marvin stands at the end of the diving board, holding Siggy by his ankles out over the water. On the shore next door, the Guttmans sit in lounge chairs, fishing. SIGGY This is child abuse! If you drop me, I'll prosecute! MARVIN I am not going to let go until you're ready, okay? Trust me and put your hands out like I showed you. SIGGY I'm not ready! Do you hear? I'm not ready!! George's sailboat heels by. From it wave Anna and some of her friends -- and Bob. BOB (shouting and waving) Hey Doctor M, look at me! I'm sailing! Stunned, Marvin drops Siggy into the water. Siggy does a belly flop then comes up for air, furious. SIGGY Murderer! Child molester... MARVIN Siggy, it was an accident! THE GUTTMANS Hitler! EXT. A PIER NEAR WINNIPESAUKEE TOWN, LATER Marvin walks along the shore towards the pier in time to see Anna and a wobbly Bob disembark George's sailboat. MARVIN Anna! Anna sees her father. She says good-bye to George and her friends then walks towards her father. Bob starts towards Marvin too. BOB Did you see me out there?! I'm getting better all the time. MARVIN I want to see Anna alone. Bob stops. Marvin waits while Anna walks to him. MARVIN I thought I told you to stay away from Bob Wiley. ANNA No. You just said I couldn't let him in the house. Marvin starts walking away from the sailboating party towards the town green. He puts his arm around Anna so that she has to walk with him. ANNA Daddy, where are we going? MARVIN Home. ANNA What about the car? I left it at the pier. MARVIN Leave it. It's been a while since I've had a walk with my daughter. Anna looks back at her friends and Bob. She shrugs then turns back to her father. From his pockets Marvin removes the Leo and Anna puppets and hands her "Anna". ANNA Daddy, not here! MARVIN PUPPET Anna, I know you think you're old enough to know what's best for you and I know you're at the age where you don't want to listen to your father. But as your father, who's always loved you, I'm asking you not to see Bob Wiley. Anna grabs the Anna puppet and puts it on, defiantly. ANNA PUPPET I don't understand the problem! Bob's a nice guy! MARVIN PUPPET Bob Wiley is a patient. He followed me here from New York which is bizarre. But even if it weren't bizarre, my daughter seeing a patient that I'm treating is entirely inappropriate. ANNA PUPPET Bob said you're not treating him here. MARVIN PUPPET He's right there! ANNA PUPPET So if you're not treating him while he's here, then he's not a patient while he's here, is he? And I have the right to see him! She throws the puppet at Marvin then runs to her friends. MARVIN PUPPET Anna, you're acting out! ANNA Bob's a perfectly nice guy! He's intense and sensitive and he listens which is more than I can say about you. Bob! Marvin stands a moment and watches. He is stunned. MARVIN PUPPET Anna, come back! Anna runs to Bob and takes his arm. They start walking down the shore. Marvin is dumbstruck. INT./EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, LATER Siggy lies on the deck, looking up at the sky through binoculars. Fay is in the kitchen, arranging driftwood. She comes to the back door of the cottage. FAY Why don't you come in and talk about it? Siggy says nothing. FAY Just because your father dropped you in the water doesn't mean you can't trust me. SIGGY You sleep with him. You're his spy. INT. THE FRONT DOOR OF THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME Marvin enters, looking absolutely stunned. FAY Leo, you've upset Siggy. Marvin stares blankly at Fay then shuffles up the stairs. FAY Leo...? Again Marvin doesn't answer and Fay starts towards him. SIGGY That's right, go to him! You always do. Fay stops, looks at Siggy then goes upstairs after Leo. EXT. THE DECK, DAY Siggy lies back down and peers through the binoculars. As he does, a grotesque CLOSE UP OF BOB pops into Siggy's field of view. He sits up with a start. Bob and Anna are standing over him. BOB Hey, Siggy. SIGGY Oh. Hi, Bob. You scared me. BOB Sorry. Didn't mean to sneak up on you. Siggy lies back down and looks through the binoculars, clearly not interested in being social. Bob looks at Anna. She shakes her head. ANNA Dad's at it again. I can tell. (to Siggy) Another vacation that's not a vacation, right? SIGGY What's with him and diving? Maria Shriver's not gonna watch me dive! INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE BEDROOM, SAME Marvin is prostrate on the bed, Marvin puppet still on his hand, staring at the ceiling. Fay enters. She sits down next to Marvin and strokes his hair. FAY Leo, Siggy is really upset. Marvin says nothing. FAY Leo... Marvin looks at his wife. MARVIN Fay, I'm a failure. FAY What? MARVIN Our daughter, our only daughter, has fallen for a brilliant manipulator twice her age. FAY Leo, for god's sake talk sense. MARVIN Anna and Bob! EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME Siggy is standing on the diving board, ready for his approach. Bob and Anna watch from the pier. Next door the Guttmans sit watching. BOB Face a fear and it goes away. SIGGY Okay. I'm facing it, now what do I do? BOB Hit it. Fast. While it isn't looking. Siggy takes a deep breath, summons up his courage, and makes his approach. He springs but can't dive. SIGGY My mind says "yes yes" but my body says "no no". It's hopeless. BOB If I'm not hopeless, nothing's hopeless... Bob steps onto the board. He "baby steps" out to the end where Siggy is standing. BOB Let's try something I saw in a pirate movie. INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, SAME Marvin is down the hall in the bathroom, dousing his face with water. Fay stands in the bedroom. MARVIN For God's sake, I'm even a failure in my own book! Can you believe it? In Chapter 2, I wrote that a healthy adolescent girl can never have a sublimated father complex and my daughter has one. FAY It's a brief flirtation, honey. Anna's perfectly healthy. MARVIN Then you're saying the book's wrong? FAY Better that than Anna. Marvin washes his face some more then looks up. MARVIN Fay, my god! Marvin walks into the room, water dripping off his face, looking like a man who's just seen his own death. FAY Leo, what? Leo, what is it? MARVIN I'm going on national television tomorrow -- to promote a fraud! EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME Bob is standing near the end of the diving board holding Siggy by the hips. Siggy is hanging over the water, hands and head down, ready to enter the water diving. Anna is watching. So are the Guttmans. BOB Don't think about boiling oil! SIGGY I'm not. BOB Or searing acid! SIGGY I'm not! BOB Our Father, we commit this soul to the sea. Bob gently releases Siggy. Siggy falls into the water, diving. Anna applauds. So do the Guttmans. Siggy resurfaces and throws a jubilant fist in the air. SIGGY Yeah! INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, SAME Fay holds Marvin's head in her bosom, stroking him. MARVIN I'm doomed! FAY No you're not. MARVIN I'll be a laughing stock! FAY No you won't. You've blow this way out of proportion, Leo, and you have to get control. Now try your breathing. MARVIN Okay. (breathes hard) I'm being ridiculous. (more breaths) You're right. He walks around breathing exaggeratedly. MARVIN It's a brilliant book... Our daughter's fine... I'm great. FAY That's right. Applause from outside can be heard in the room. Fay goes to the window. MARVIN Fay, do you remember a Carswell Fensterwald? FAY My God, Leo, look at this. MARVIN The name is so familiar but -- FAY Leo, Siggy's diving! MARVIN What? Marvin looks out the window. He sees: EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME. MARVINS' POV Bob releases Siggy for another perfect dive. BACK TO MARVIN MARVIN I'll put a stop to this! Marvin storms out of the bedroom. FAY Leo! EXT. THE MARVIN DOCK, SAME Siggy stands at the end of the board, more confident now, getting ready to do another dive. Bob holds Siggy again but this time Siggy doesn't need much help if any. Marvin charges down the dock, Fay right behind him. MARVIN Enough. Let go of him! That's enough! FAY Leo! BOB Dr. M., watch this! SIGGY (leaning over to dive) Watch, dad! MARVIN Stop diving this instant! ANNA Dad! Marvin leaps onto the diving board, shaking it. Bob loses his grip and Siggy falls off the board, doing a back buster. Bob falls in too. SIGGY Ow! (daggers at Marvin) You bastard! FAY Leo! Look at what you're doing! Leo, look at yourself! Everybody looks at Marvin, standing alone on the board. He realizes that he's lost all control, something he never does. He looks at the Guttmans. MARVIN What are you staring at? I had every right to buy this house! ANNA (looking in the water) Where's Bob? Where's Bob?! Anna and Fay dive into the water. They go under looking for Bob. EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DECK, AFTERNOON Bob is off a bit by himself, wringing out his clothes. Fay, Anna and Siggy sit toweling off. Marvin comes out of the house and talks in low tones to his family. MARVIN Listen, everybody, I'm not wrong often, but when I am, I admit it. I'm sorry. I mean it. How can I make it up? There is a pause. Anna and Siggy and Fay look at each other. SIGGY Knocking Bob in the water was awful. What if he hadn't known how to swim? MARVIN But he did. I'm not saying I was right, but Bob can do a lot of things no one thought he could do. Anna, Fay and Siggy are silent. MARVIN Look, I said I was wrong now I'd like to forget it. I'd like you all to accept my apology. ANNA What about Bob? MARVIN What about Bob?! ANNA Don't you think you should apologize to him? ANGLE ON BOB at the outdoor shower, rinsing off his clothes. He can't hear the family but he can see they're talking about him and he's giving them his best hang-dog looks. MARVIN I will not apologize to Bob. ANNA Why not? MARVIN Because I won't. FAY Honey, why are you so hostile towards the poor man? MARVIN Because he's a patient, Fay! Don't you get it? SIGGY He's not a patient, he's a person. ANNA And a nice one. FAY I think we should invite him for dinner. MARVIN Dinner?! FAY Dinner. ANNA Really?! FAY The poor fellow's devastated. Fay heads towards Bob. Marvin turns to her. He keeps his voice low to keep from being heard by Bob, but inside he is about to explode. MARVIN I don't want Bob for dinner, Fay. FAY Leo... MARVIN I don't want Bob for dinner, Fay. I want to think about my interview. Leo is trying not to explode. Fay hangs in the balance. ANNA Do it, mom. Invite him. You'd be making family history. It'd be the first major thing you've done on your own since I've known you! FAY Right is right, Leo Marvin. Fay heads to Bob. Marvin's mouth falls open. SIGMUND Testing 1, 2, 3. Testing. For the next few seconds we will be conducting a test of the emergency broadcast system: MARVIN SIGGY Fay talks to Bob. Anna heads over to him too. Marvin stands speechless, ready to commit hari-kari. EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE PATIO, EVENING Dusk has descended over Lake Winnipesaukee. The glow of the moon, the stars, and lights from the other cottages along the lake shore provide peaceful illumination. The Marvin family -- and Bob -- are dining out on their deck overlooking the lake. Marvin sits silent, holding in his anger. Bob, swinging at occasional moths, sits next to Siggy. BOB Get away. Get away! SIGGY Ring around the moon. Rain coming soon. BOB (edgy to Siggy) Gee, is that true? MARVIN It's superstitious nonsense. Anna and Fay exit the cottage carrying trays of food. BOB (to Fay and Anna) That looks scrumptious. Anna smiles and hands the first plate of food to Bob. Marvin sees this and crosses his arms. He shoots a death stare at Anna. She defiantly shoots it right back. Bob sees this exchange of looks. BOB Did I do something? FAY No, Bob. It's fine. Eat up. Leo. Fay looks at Marvin and shakes her head "no". BOB (eating) Mmmm. Mmmmm. This sure is good. Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmm. MARVIN Would you please stop that? BOB Oh. Sorry, Leo. Would you pass the salt? MARVIN And don't call me Leo. BOB I'm sorry. You said in your office that I could call you Leo. MARVIN That was in my office. In my home you will call me Dr. Marvin. Marvin snaps the salt down next to Bob. Bob looks helplessly at Fay. Fay puts a hand on Bob's arm. FAY (low) He's nervous about the interview tomorrow. Don't take it personally. BOB (to Marvin) Hey, that's right, I heard about your upcoming debut. Congratulations. Marvin nods and eats. Bob throws salt over his shoulder then salts his food. BOB Your book's going to do a lot of people a lot of good, Le-- Dr. Marvin. I'm walking proof of that. Marvin chokes on the food he's eating. Siggy slaps his dad on the back. Marvin keeps coughing. SIGGY Dad? FAY Sweetheart? Marvin turns red and points to his throat. He falls to the deck on his side. Bob stands. BOB Don't panic! I know what to do! Bob hurries to Marvin, lies beside him, and administers the Heimlick maneuver. On the second try, Marvin's throat clears. Marvin lies in Bob's arms, coughing. SIGGY Dad, you okay? ANNA Daddy?! FAY Honey?! Marvin says something. Fay leans over him to hear. FAY Leo, are you okay? MARVIN I said..., get him off me! Bob lets go of Marvin. Marvin coughs and crawls away. SIGGY Bob, you saved him! ANNA Incredible! Wonderful! FAY Thank you! Fay helps Marvin gets to his feet. Suddenly, there is a flash of lightning. Bob jumps. Rain begins to fall. Marvin looks up. SIGGY Told you so. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, NIGHT The rain outside is coming down in buckets. Marvin is in the living room, re-straightening the furniture and art ever so meticulously. He adjusts a diploma over the mantle. Anna, Fay, Siggy and Bob are in the kitchen, doing the dishes. BOB (SINGING) "I'm singing in the rain, Just singing in the rain, What a glorious feeling, Bob throws his pack of Kleenex into the trash. BOB (SINGING) I'm happy again! Bob retrieves the pack of Kleenex from the trash. BOB (SINGING) "I walk though the kitchen With a bowl full of chicken (puts the chicken in the fridge) I'm singing, I'm singing In the rain." Anna and Fay and Siggy start a dance. Marvin enters. MARVIN Look, tomorrow morning is very important and I'd like to call it a night. I don't want to be rude but I think it's time for Bob to sing his way home. FAY (re: the rain) Honey, you don't expect Bob to walk back in this do you? MARVIN Did I say that? I'll drive him. ANNA The car's still in town, daddy. MARVIN What? ANNA You said to leave it, remember? We walked home. Marvin seethes then looks darkly at Anna. MARVIN The rain's bound to let up. Bob can go then. SIGGY What if it starts up again while Bob's on the way? MARVIN (nastily) He can borrow my slicker. INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, LATE NIGHT Marvin stands staring out the window like he'd like to murder the rain that is still coming down in torrents. Bob is on the couch, sitting alone, wearing Marvin's yellow slicker, looking unwanted. Anna, Siggy and Fay sit quietly, watching Marvin. Bob looks at Fay and shrugs like he's sorry. Fay puts a sympathetic hand on Bob's. FAY Leo. MARVIN Shsh. FAY Leo... MARVIN Quiet. It's letting up. There is a crash of thunder that shakes the rafters. Marvin reaches out and slowly scratches the window, creating a tiny squeaking sound. Fay walks to him. FAY (low) Leo, we can't make the poor fellow sit here all night. Let's let him stay over. MARVIN Stay over? Honey, Maria Shriver's coming in the morning. Maria Shriver! You want some guy sleeping on our couch when Maria Shriver gets here? He almost laughs at the idea. FAY There's an extra bed in Siggy's room. Bob, would you like to spend the night? BOB Well I... Do you have a dacron pillow? SIGGY That's a great idea! MARVIN Fay! BOB Are you sure I'm not imposing? MARVIN Of course you are -- ! FAY -- aren't. Anna, find an extra set of sheets. Siggy, get one of your father's robes for Bob. Fay shoots Marvin a dirty look then exits the room with Anna. Marvin claws the window making a bone chilling squeak. INT. SIGGY'S ROOM, NIGHT Siggy's room has twin beds arranged head to head against the corner. Bob, wearing one of Marvin's robes, enters. Siggy is hanging up his clothes. SIGGY Did you find a toothbrush? BOB Yeah. (belches and hits his chest) Excuse me. SIGGY You care which bed? BOB I'd prefer facing southeast. INT. MARVIN'S BEDROOM, SAME Marvin enters in his pj's. Fay is preparing for bed. MARVIN Have you seen my new toothbrush? FAY It should be in the bathroom. MARVIN Well it should be but it's not! Fay shoots Marvin a dirty look then heads towards the bathroom. FAY Just because you're nervous about tomorrow, Leo Marvin, doesn't give you the right to get snippy. If you can't handle the pressure, postpone the interview. MARVIN Fay, it's not the interview -- I mean I am nervous about it -- but that's not what's bugging me. It's... him. FAY Him who? Bob? MARVIN No, Siggy. Yes, Bob! Who else? FAY Leo, quiet. He'll hear you. MARVIN Why shouldn't he hear me? Don't you get it, he's a sick person. A multiphobic mess! He faked suicide... FAY Isn't that a cry for help? MARVIN ...Followed me up here from New York, wormed his way into my house. For all I know, he's a mass murderer! FAY Oh come on, Leo, he's a sweet guy. Perfectly harmless. MARVIN You don't know that! Everything he's done violates the patient-doctor relationship. Now he's in there with our son! INT. THE SIGGY'S BEDROOM, NIGHT Bob and Siggy lie in Siggy's twin beds. Outside, lightning flashes. Bob chews his nails. SIGGY Bob? BOB Yeah. SIGGY How come you go to dad? Are you really sick or just maladjusted? BOB Sick. You ever had a bee buzz your face that wouldn't go away? SIGGY Sure. Once or twice. BOB When I was twelve, I had one buzz me for three weeks. Lightning strikes again. Bob bites his nails. He stands and paces a bit. He notices some books in Siggy's bookcase. BOB Whoa. You got some heavy stuff here. Denial of Death, Fear and Trembling, Sickness Unto Death. SIGGY Those are dad's. BOB He lets you read this stuff? SIGGY He hid them but I found them. Bob looks in one, shudders, then puts it back on the shelf. SIGGY Bob? BOB Yeah? SIGGY Are you afraid of death? BOB Sure. Are you kidding? SIGGY What do you do about it? I mean, how do you cope? BOB Well... The way I figure it, if it weren't called "death", it wouldn't be so bad. I mean what if it were called "dink"? SIGGY Dink? BOB Then it would be fine. We'd say "Grandma dinked." "The garbage man dinked." SIGGY My turtle just dinked. BOB Exactly. Then we wouldn't worry anymore. SIGGY Hey, you're right! BOB 'Course we'd still have to worry about Barrett's Esophagus and Black Water Fever and Tourette's Syndrome. SIGGY What's Tourette's syndrome? INT. FAY AND MARVIN'S BEDROOM, NIGHT Fay and Leo lie near sleep. Suddenly, from the other room, comes a loud barrage of profanity. SIGGY (O.S.) FART BRAIN! BOB (O.S.) BOOGER HEAD! SIGGY (O.S.) DONKEY DICK! Fay and Marvin spring out of bed. INT. SIGGY'S ROOM, NIGHT Bob and Siggy are jumping up and down on their beds, spouting profanity at each other. Marvin and Fay rush in. MARVIN What is going on in here?! Bob and Siggy jump under the covers. SIGGY Sorry, Dad. BOB Sorry. MARVIN I asked you a question! SIGGY Tourette's Dad. You know, Dad. BOB Yeah, Dad... Leo... Dr. Marvin. Marvin glares at Bob. Fay nudges Marvin. FAY It's kids being kids, Leo. MARVIN I don't want to hear another peep out of this room. I'm trying to get some sleep around here! Tomorrow is the most important day of my career! CBS is coming here. Maria Shriver is coming here. Millions will be watching. And buying! SIGGY I'm sorry, Dad. We'll stop. BOB We got carried away. We won't do it again. Marvin stares at Bob. MARVIN I want you out by six thirty. Understand. Maria Shriver comes at seven, I want you out by six thirty. BOB Sure. Would you like something for sleep? MARVIN What? BOB I've got Valium if you need it. MARVIN I don't need Valium. BOB Halcyon? Seconal? MARVIN I need peace and quiet! BOB I'll be quiet. SIGGY And I'll be peace. Bob nudges Siggy and they try to contain their laughter. Marvin glares at them then storms out. Fay comes up and tucks them into their beds. BOB It's my fault, Mrs. M., we should have been quieter. FAY We just have to get him through Maria Shriver. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. BOB Bed bugs! FAY It's just an expression. BOB Oh right. 'Night. She turns out the light and pulls the door closed. BOB Mrs. M! Fay opens the door. BOB Would you mind leaving it cracked? Fay smiles and leaves the door cracked. EXT. LONG SHOT OF LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, EARLY MORNING A clearing storm, right after dawn. Three vans from "CBS Morning" wind along the lake towards town. EXT. THE SECOND STORY OF THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME Through the window we see Siggy and Bob sound asleep in their beds. DOLLY ACROSS the clapboards to Leo and Fay's room where Fay lies sound asleep and Marvin lies looking at his watch. It lets out a series of beeps and he stands and exits. DOLLY back to Siggy's room where Marvin knocks, loudly. MARVIN Six o'clock, rise and shine! Siggy sits up. Bob doesn't stir. Marvin enters, watch beeping, and walks to Bob. He puts the watch next to Bob's ear. MARVIN Rise and shine. Six o'clock. Rise and shine, rise and shine. Bob doesn't move. Fay and Anna enter in robes. MARVIN Bob... Bob! He shakes Bob's bed. MARVIN BOB! Bob sleeps through incredible shaking and yelling from a desperate Marvin then suddenly sits up with a start. BOB AHHHH! Everybody leaps back. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSEHOLD, EARLY MORNING Marvin is in the living room, dressed in his stiffest casuals from L.L. Bean, nervously adjusting his "set". Fay is in the kitchen, preparing food. Momentarily, Bob comes bounding down the stairs. BOB (more and more rapidly) Baby stepping down the stairs. Baby stepping down the stairs! He turns and sees Marvin. BOB Hello! Is this a beautiful day or what? Marvin walks to Bob. MARVIN (gritted teeth) Leave. BOB I had the most incredible dream last night, I -- MARVIN Go. BOB Is this something you want me to work out on my own? MARVIN Now! BOB Well. You've been right about everything so far. God, therapy is a fascinating process. 'Bye Mrs. M. Thank you for everything. 'Bye Anna. See you later. ANNA (O.S.) 'Bye Bob. See you later today, maybe. FAY (O.S.) Don't be a stranger. BOB You know me. I won't. (towards the upstairs) So long, ass wipe of the universe! SIGGY (coming to the railing upstairs) 'Bye dog pissing barf brain! MARVIN Siggy! Bob! Bob exits out the front door. BOB (O.S.) Later, fart smelling douche bag! (beat) Maria Shriver's here. Marvin turns red in the face. He walks to the door. EXT. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DOORWAY, SAME MARIA SHRIVER and her entourage - PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, video crew, etc. -- approach the door. MARIA SHRIVER Dr. Marvin, Maria Shriver. MARVIN (swallows nervously) Hello. MARIA I hope we're not too early. May we come in? Marvin steps aside. The crew enters with equipment. MARVIN Sure. I thought by the fireplace... CREW MEMBER It's a fireplace shot, fellows. INT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME Bob walks to the side screen door, pushes his nose to it and watches. Marvin sees this and motions Bob away with his hand. Bob waves back. Two men approach Marvin. DIRECTOR I'm the Director, Howie Katrell. This is Lenny Burns, our Producer. Marvin shakes their hands. Maria admires the house. MARIA This is even nicer than the pictures. MARVIN Thank you. MARIA Is this your family? MARVIN Oh, sorry. This is my wife, er, Fay. My daughter Anna, and my son... Marvin is so nervous, he's forgotten Siggy's name. SIGGY I'm Siggy, dad. How's Arnold? Can you get me his autograph? MARVIN Sigmund... MARIA I think I can swing it. SIGGY Really? Wow! Maria looks at Bob who is still standing in the screen door. MARIA Hi. I'm Maria. BOB I'm Bob. He opens the screen door and shakes her hand. This done, Marvin closes the screen door on Bob. MARVIN Bob's a patient. He was just -- MARIA Wow. A Baby Stepper in action. Neat idea. Howie, Dr. Marvin's gonna have a patient on with him. HOWIE Fine. Let's can the fireplace shot and -- MARVIN Now wait just a minute! HOWIE That's okay. We can still use the fireplace. Phil, what say we set up over there and... Bob opens the screen door and walks back in. Marvin sees this and can't believe it. MARVIN Ms. Shriver, -- MARIA You know the more I think about this, Doctor, the more I love it. I mean who better to testify to the effectiveness of your book than one of your patients. I think it's a two parter, Lenny. LENNY I do to. Great idea, Dr. Marvin. Terrific. He slaps a disbelieving Marvin on the back. INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, MORNING The room is bright lit for TV and the crew is making last minute adjustments. Marvin and Bob sit on the couch, both nervous wrecks, Bob clutching his copy of Baby Steps and an air sickness bag, Marvin clutching a copy of his book. Marvin's diplomas and art are displayed prominently on the "set". The proud family looks on. Fay leans in with a lint roller, rolls Marvin's shirt, kisses him, and backs out. HOWIE Live feed in ten. FAY Knock em dead, honey. LENNY Howie, I don't like that there. A crew person rushes up and takes down Marvin's diploma. HOWIE Five -- four -- three -- BOB Can I use the bathroom? Howie points at Maria. MARIA (TO TV CAMERA) Good Morning. We're live in the beautiful Lake Winnipesaukee summer home of Dr. Leo M. Marvin, author of the newest sensation in therapy, Baby Steps. Also with us is Dr. Marvin's patient, Bob Wiley. Good morning, Dr. Marvin. Bob. BOB AND MARVIN (SIMULTANEOUSLY) Good morning. Marvin shoots Bob a dirty look. Bob smiles innocently. Suddenly Bob takes out his air sickness bag and holds it out as if to throw up in it. After a long beat, Bob puts it back. BOB False alarm. Sorry. Bob smiles. Marvin turns beet red. MARIA Dr. Marvin, it takes a remarkable amount of confidence in your methods to bring on a patient with you. What in particular about Bob's prior condition would you like to share with us? Marvin looks at Bob. A tiny, sadistic smile comes across his face. There are a million things he'd like to say about Bob -- to humiliate him, punish him, discredit him, ridicule him, vilify him, pillory him -- on national TV. MARVIN Nothing. MARIA Nothing? Nothing in particular you think we should know? MARVIN No. MARIA Hum... Well... (pause) Let me try you, Bob. She smiles at Bob. Bob takes out his air sickness bag again. He holds it for a long time then puts it away. He smiles. BOB Okay. MARIA Have you been a patient of Dr. Marvin's for a long time? BOB Long time? I wouldn't call it a long time. (looking at Marvin) What? Three or four days? MARIA Days?! INT. A DINGY ROOM IN A DOWNTOWN URBAN SPRAWL, SAME Carswell Fensterwald sits watching Marvin and Bob on TV. Marvin is a bumbling wreck, trying to save this one. MARVIN (ON TV) Well... you see... I was..., he was... I was..., following his case through..., another psychiatrist... He thought I was, er, the perfect doctor for the case. Because of my book. MARIA (ON TV) Ah. BOB Why you sly dogs, he was right! I want to say that if more wisdom, or more empathy, or more pure intelligence exists than exits in this man, I want to know about it. Do you know that he actually had me sleep here last night? In his jamies, using his toothbrush! MARIA (ON TV) That's a very unusual technique. Fensterwald pounds his chair and howls with glee. BACK TO MARVIN'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME MARVIN Well -- BOB I'll say and I've been to them all. Doctors who made you beat pillows. He demonstrates by beating a couch pillow. BOB Doctors who make you scream. Bob suddenly screams. Marvin jumps. BOB But this doctor has something simple. Baby Steps. Bob holds up Baby Steps then stands and walks back and forth in front of Marvin. He holds the book so that it can be seen by the TV camera. BOB Baby step across the room. Baby step across the room... He leans and looks into the TV camera. BOB Are you getting the book? Bob plops back on the couch. BOB Let me tell you what I used to be like before I met Dr M. Bob puts his arm around Marvin. BOB Eleven years ago I was not the man you see today. Eleven years ago... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, MORNING The CBS vans are loading up. Maria, Lenny and Howie stand at the door saying good-by. Marvin hovers in the background, in shock. MARIA Bob, that stuff about yourself was refreshingly honest. Could we talk to you again in a few months to update your progress? BOB Sure. As long as my doctor gives permission. Marvin tries to force a smile but can't. A CBS staff photographer comes over, places Bob and Maria in his frame and snaps a picture. The CBS people head off. MARIA Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Marvin. FAY Anytime! Maria and CBS leave. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME The family and Bob move back into the house. Looking like a zombie, Leo closes the door. He stands still for a long moment. MARVIN I'm... ruined! FAY Ruined? MARVIN My career... Everything I've worked for..., over! Marvin ambles across the room like a cripple. The family watches in shock. ANNA But daddy... Suddenly Marvin turns on Bob. MARVIN Get out. BOB Is it something, I said? Marvin moves at Bob, backing him towards the front door. MARVIN GET OUT!! Seeing Marvin's rage, Bob backs out and Marvin closes the door. After a moment there's a knock. Marvin opens it. BOB Is this aversion therapy? MARVIN GO AWAY NOW! BOB Okay. Marvin slams the door again. The family is stunned. FAY My god, Leo, what's got into you? SIGGY Dad, you're over reacting. What about Bob? EXT. THE CRIS CRAFT BOAT, DAY The doctors and their wives sit rapt, listening to Doctor 3. WIFE Yeah, what about Bob? ANOTHER DOCTOR What about Bob? INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, DAY MARVIN WHAT ABOUT BOB?! SIGGY Dad... ANNA Daddy, look at your behavior. What are you doing? MARVIN What am I doing? What am I doing?! He strides across the room. He finds his electronic organizer, opens it, and pushes buttons. MARVIN Wednesday... Afternoon... He holds out the organizer for family to see the readout. MARVIN I'm going sailing! OMITTED Sequence omitted from original script. EXT. THE COUNTRY ROAD, DAY Bob walks down the road, upset, talking to himself. BOB The fam is hurt. I've hurt them. I didn't mean to. Certainly they realize that. I've hurt the fam. Hurt the fam. I've hurt the fam. The Marvin station wagon, Marvin driving, passes. Bob sees Fay, Siggy, and Anna turn and wave. BOB Hi fam! (pause) Bye fam! The car speeds on. BOB I hurt the fam. EXT. THE WINNIPESAUKEE PIER, DAY Marvin's family climbs aboard a small sailboat. Marvin pulls a line onto the deck, then the boat glides out into the lake. EXT. WINNIPESAUKEE TOWN, FILLED WITH VACATIONERS, SAME Bob wanders, looking lost, mumbling. BOB I could apologize. But then I'd have to go back and I'm not sure they want me. I hurt the fam. That much I know. Hurt the fam. VENDOR (O.S.) Hot dog, bub? Bob looks idly up. A VENDOR with a cart is talking to Bob. BOB (distracted) Sure. The VENDOR hands Bob a hot dog. Bob hands him money then wanders off. NEW ANGLE, A BUSY GREEN BESIDE THE PIER, DAY Families of tourists stroll. Bob stands staring dejectedly out at the lake. Unthinkingly, he takes a bite of the hot dog then turns. BOB This has to be some kind of test. I know I hurt them but they have to know I didn't mean it. If it's a test... I ate a hot dog. Bob stares at the hot dog like it just spoke Greek. BOB I ATE A HOT DOG! The tourists turn and stare. EXT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, SAME Marvin stands at the helm, sailing the small sailboat across lake. The breeze blows Marvin's hair, making him look wild. Anna suns. Siggy casts a fishing line. Fay stares into nowhere. MARVIN I mean it's summer time right, what could their audience be, five million? Most of them hardly pay attention anyway, right? The point is, the book got on. It couldn't hurt sales, that much could it? FAY Of course not. MARVIN I mean... It's a disaster, Fay! FAY Honey... ANNA Hey, look. Isn't that Bob? Off the bow, a small motorboat is approaching. ANGLE ON THE MOTORBOAT, SAME Bob is steering a small motorboat towards the sailboat. He holds half of his hot dog out like a trophy. BOB Dr. M! Dr. M., I've had a breakthrough! I ate a hot dog! I'm driving a boat! Thanks to you! ANGLE IN THE SAILBOAT ANNA It is Bob! It's Bob! MARVIN Oh no. SIGGY Hey, Bob! Anna and Siggy wave. Marvin's eyes narrow. Bob keeps shouting as he motors closer. BOB I'm really making progress now! I feel like a whole new world is opening up! He keeps getting closer. BOB My childhood memories are rushing over me like a flood! Marvin turns the rudder and comes about. MARVIN Coming about! He turns the sailboat and heads the opposite direction from Bob. ANNA Daddy, what are you doing? MARVIN (at Bob's boat) Go away! BOB What? ANNA Daddy, he's trying to talk to you. SIGGY Dad... Marvin keeps sailing away. But Bob's boat is faster and it's gaining. Marvin sees this, jerks the rudder again, and turns ninety degrees. He stands and shouts at Bob. MARVIN Go away, do you hear me!! FAY Leo, the boom! The boom hits Marvin square in the chest, and knocks him overboard. ANNA, FAY, SIGGY Daddy! Leo! Dad! EXT. THE WATER, LAKE LEVEL, SAME Marvin bobs in the water. The pilotless sailboat heels away. Bob dives in, swims to Marvin, and grabs him by the chin in a traditional life-saver hold. As Siggy gains control of the sailboat, Bob begins doing the side stroke towards the distant shore with Marvin in tow. BOB I never had a father, really. Dad left one morning and never came back. My earliest memory is mom with a suitcase. Do you think that's significant? Marvin is a prisoner in tow. He drags himself under water. Bob pulls him up and keeps swimming. BOB I'd like to do some free association about my infancy: A beachball. A dog. A frog. A log. Poodle, noodle, doodle... As Bob swims Marvin towards the shore, going on and on with this inane free association... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, AFTERNOON Marvin, dry and dressed now, exits the house and gets in the station wagon. He honks. Momentarily Bob runs out. BOB (at the house) Will do! Bob gets in the car. Affectless, Marvin stares at him. BOB Wherever we're going, Fay wants us home by seven. MARVIN No problem. Marvin accelerates away, rudely. EXT./INT. THE MARVIN STATION WAGON, DAY Rain is falling. The wipers swish. Marvin drives through pastoral New Hampshire countryside focused, perhaps too intently, on the road. Bob sits beside him. BOB It's a combustible relationship, isn't it? Is it just you and me or is it you and everybody? (pause) So what's the big surprise? MARVIN Intensive psychotherapy. BOB Really?! MARVIN Isn't that what you came here for? BOB Yeah! But what brought this on now? MARVIN You're ready. BOB Wow. This is exciting. EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, DAY The rain has let up. Marvin pulls up to a gated estate sporting expansive grounds and a hotel sized main building. Marvin stops at a guard gate. MARVIN Leo Marvin to see Dr. Tomsky. The GATE GUARD checks a list. He waves Marvin through. GATE GUARD Main building doctor. They're expecting you. BOB Where are we? MARVIN Therapy land, Bob. A twentieth century theme park of the mind. They drive. MARVIN The lines look short today. EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, SAME Marvin gets out and so does Bob. A man Leo's age, DR. TOMSKY, approaches. DR. TOMSKY Hello, Leo. Long time no see! Is this our friend? MARVIN Bob Wiley, this is your new pal, Dr. Tomsky. BOB New pal? What's wrong with my old pal? Tomsky makes a motion of his head. Two big attendants move to either side of Bob. BIG ATTENDANT 1 Let us show you to your room. They lead Bob off. BOB Hey! Don't touch me! I have seizures! Dr. M! Dr. M!! They take Bob into a building. Marvin turns to Tomsky. MARVIN I really appreciate your helping me out on this, Kenneth. Tomsky holds out a form for Marvin to sign. He does. TOMSKY I can only hold him for twenty four hours, Leo. Without staff corroboration. MARVIN I'm not worried in the least, Kenneth. I'm sure your entire staff will corroborate. With intensive treatment he should be out in about -- fifty years. Marvin hands the clipboard back to Tomsky. They shake. EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DRIVEWAY, LATE AFTERNOON The Marvin station wagon pulls into the driveway, radio is blasting, playing a tape of Neil Diamond. Marvin exits it, dancing as he sings along. MARVIN AND TAPE "I'll be what I am, solitary man. SOLITARY MAN!" INT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME Marvin enters singing. Siggy and Anna see him. ANNA Dad, you okay? MARVIN (to "Oklahoma") "Okay, Anna Mae, Leo Marvin's okay Leo Marvin, he's okay!" SIGGY Where's Bob? ANNA Yeah, dad, where's Bob? MARVIN Can't a man enjoy himself on vacation? ANNA Dad -- ? MARVIN Bob sends his regrets but he had to take a trip. ANNA What kind of trip? I thought you were working with him. MARVIN I was. ANNA Then why'd he go on a trip? MARVIN Why does a man climb a mountain, Anna? Because it's there. Marvin turns up the music and dances. Anna and Siggy stand stunned. ANNA He didn't even say good-bye? SIGGY He just left? ANNA It's not like Bob not to say good- bye. MARVIN That's why he left, you see. He just wasn't himself. (pause) He'll write. ANNA Dad, if you did something to Bob... MARVIN Anna, what do you take me for? (pause) Everything's fine. Marvin, looking perfectly content, turns off the music, goes to his chair, picks up Freud's Understanding Dreams, the book he's been trying to read since he arrived here. Siggy and Anna stare at him suspiciously. Fay enters carrying the cordless phone. FAY Leo, a Dr. Tomsky says it's urgent. Marvin takes the phone and walks into the kitchen. Anna and Siggy look even more suspicious. Momentarily Leo strides out of the kitchen and walks out the front door. FAY Leo, where are you going? MARVIN Out. FAY Just like that? (pause) Be home by seven, okay? Marvin doesn't answer because he's gone. ANNA Something's rotten in Winnipesaukee. EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, LATE AFTERNOON Marvin's car screeches up. Marvin hurries out. INT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, SAME Bob sits around a table with Tomsky and several members of the STAFF who are laughing. BOB Wait, I've another one. Who knows the difference between Freud and Moses? He sees blank, expectant faces, waiting for a punchline. BOB Well if you don't know, I'm going to another clinic! All laugh. Tomsky sees Marvin enter and stands. TOMSKY Excuse me. BOB So a psychiatrist and a psychologist go into a bar and order Bloody Marys... INT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME HALLWAY, SAME Tomsky joins Marvin in the hall. In the other room we see Bob continuing to joke with the staff. MARVIN Kenneth, you have been duped by a textbook narcissist. A brilliant neuropath! TOMSKY Brilliant enough to dupe my entire staff? I doubt that. Tomsky stuffs a paper into Marvin's shirt pocket. TOMSKY I'm giving you back his admitting forms, Leo, to save you any embarrassment. MARVIN Embarrassment?! TOMSKY It's perfectly natural for a patient to bond with his analyst. It's a normal part of therapy. If you want to be rid of him, simply take him back where you got him and go home. MARVIN That's easy for you to say! He's human crazy glue! If it were that simple do you think I'd be here? TOMSKY You should have never let him sleep in your pajamas, Leo. His problems don't go away just because you want them too. MARVIN Whose side are you on?! TOMSKY Relax, Leo. MARVIN I'm relaxed! TOMSKY Take a vacation. MARVIN I'm on vacation!! TOMSKY Are you sure? Maybe you should check in here for a few days and get a handle on things? Marvin looks at Tomsky, amazed at the implication of this statement. EXT. THE COUNTRYSIDE OF NEW ENGLAND, DAY Marvin drives. Bob rides. Marvin looks ready to explode. BOB Intensive psychotherapy? -- boy, you weren't kidding, were you? I mean even Dr. T. didn't think I needed that. (pause) Look I have an idea -- how are your afternoons? I mean since we're here together with nothing else to do, what say we work from two to four, something like that? EXT. THE COUNTRY ROAD, SAME The Marvinmobile screeches to a halt and Marvin jumps out. He rushes around the car and opens Bob's door. MARVIN Get out! Get out of my car, get out of my life, don't ever come back! Marvin drags Bob out of the car and slams the door. BOB Are you saying you'd prefer mornings? Marvin gets back in and floors it. He speeds off. BOB What is this, isolation therapy? Bob stands alone on the road. BOB You're the doctor. Birds chirp and crickets crick. A pick-up truck passes and Bob sticks out his thumb. The pick-up stops. INT. MARVIN'S CAR, SAME Marvin is about to bust a vessel. Telephone poles shoot by like pickets on a fence. Behind him a siren wails. In his rear-view mirror, Marvin sees a motorcycle cop approaching. MARVIN No! You won't catch me!! NO! EXT. THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, ANOTHER SPOT, LATER The motorcycle cop is writing a steaming Leo Marvin a ticket. A passing pick-up slows and Bob leans out the passenger window. BOB Need any help? MARVIN No! BOB Remember: be home by seven. The pick-up drives on. The motorcycle cop hands Marvin a ticket. Marvin gets back into his car, throws it in gear, and the car jerks backwards into the guardrail. MARVIN Shit! Marvin throws it into forward. The car, fender dented, tears away. EXT. THE PORCH OF A COUNTRY HOUSE, LATE AFTERNOON Sitting on the porch of his house, an OLD MAN watches as Marvin's car slows to a stop out in the road. The tire under the dented fender is torn to ribbons by the metal and the car is now riding on the rim. Marvin stops, gets out of the car, and looks at the tire. MARVIN First he ruins my life, now he ruins my tire! Cursing to himself, Marvin walks to the trunk and removes a jack. MARVIN God! Damn! Son of a bitching! Bob! A WOMAN comes out of the house and joins the old man. They watch in silence as Marvin jacks up his car. As he twists and grimaces and kicks to get off the lug nuts, it starts to RAIN. MARVIN Shit piss crap! Son of a bitching douche bag asshole! THREE MORE PEOPLE come out on the porch and watch. As Marvin struggles, the car slips off the jack and slams to the pavement. Marvin begins kicking the tire and hitting it with the jack. MARVIN What about Bob?! Think about Bob! What about Bob? What about Bob? WHAT ABOUT BOB!! EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DUSK Mumbling to himself, soaking wet, and filthy with tire grime, Marvin walks to his house. He kicks open the front door. MARVIN I'm home! INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DUSK. MARVIN'S P.O.V. Lights go on. Thirty people stand around the room with party favors and drinks. In unison they yell: PARTY GUESTS Surprise! (then sing:) "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthd... The singing tapers into silence. Flabbergasted by Marvin's disheveled appearance, the party guests stare. Fay and the kids approach, tentatively. SIGGY Dad, what happened? MARVIN Nothing. FAY Leo, look at yourself! MARVIN Just a little car trouble, hon. I'm fine. Fay is speechless. So are Siggy and Anna. Not wanting to let things sink, party-hardy well-wishers approach Leo. PARTY GUEST 1 Happy Birthday, Leo. PARTY GUEST 2 Some night to have car trouble. You almost missed your own surprise party! BOB (O.S.) Happy Birthday, Dr. M! Marvin turns and stares at Bob. BOB I couldn't miss your birthday! Marvin suddenly leaps at Bob and grabs him by the throat. He pushes him through three rooms of the house, choking him. MARVIN I want you dead! Dead, you hear me, dead! Marvin falls on the floor on top of Bob. Guests go to pull him off. INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, NIGHT Marvin lies in bed in the darkened room. He can hear the party guests huddle outside in the hall, whispering. A guest whom we recognize as the Doctor 3 from the boat, (the man who is telling this story), enters carrying his doctor's bag. He approaches Fay who is wringing her hands. Both speak in whispers loud enough for Marvin to decipher. FAY I've never seen him like this, Phil. He's got this delusion about Bob Wiley being the cause of all his problems and I don't know what to do. PHIL He's under a lot of stress, Fay. His book, his interview which frankly didn't go so well, his birthday. That's a lot to bite off all at once. I'll give him a sedative and he'll be fine. FAY You really think so? Phil puts a hand on Fay's hand and nods. INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, NIGHT Bob sits on the couch beside Siggy. Anna approaches. ANNA You feeling better? BOB I'm fine. It's your dad I'm worried about. How is he? ANNA Upstairs. Resting. I can't understand why he'd attack you like that. Anna sits next to Bob. Bob sees George Stark, standing across the room, smiling at Anna. BOB I can't either. But one thing I've learned about psychiatrists: they're brilliant manipulators. I trust your dad completely. I'm sure everything he's done has been to help me. (pause) How come you aren't making a move on George Stark? ANNA (glancing at George) Bob, we've talked about this. BOB No, you've talked about it and I've listened. In my opinion, George Stark's smile is not Oedipal regression and it's not confused libido. It's one good looking guy drooling over you, Anna Marvin. ANNA Bob... BOB Go ask if you can put your tongue in his mouth. I hear it works every time. Anna smiles then summons her courage, and smilingly approaches George. He is clearly delighted. A woman walks up to Bob. WOMAN (LILY) Hi. Fay said to introduce myself. I'm Lily, Leo's neurotic sister. We saw LILY MARVIN'S picture in Leo's office. Bob stands, delighted. BOB A pleasure. I'm neurotic too. LILY Really, what a coincidence. Am I disturbing you? BOB Only in a good way. Sit down. She does. BOB It must be nice having an analyst in the family. LILY I don't know, ask Leo. I'm an analyst too. BOB You're kidding?! OMITTED Sequence omitted from original script. INT. MARVIN'S DARKENED BEDROOM, NIGHT Phil empties a large syringe into Marvin's buttock. He swats Marvin's behind and Marvin pulls up his pj's. PHIL That should give you some interesting ideas for your next book. You might even wake up feeling happy. MARVIN I doubt it. Phil, do you remember a classmate named Fensterwald? PHIL Carswell Fensterwald? Sure. Who could forget? MARVIN I've forgotten and I don't know why. Did anything unusual happen with him? PHIL You're joking. MARVIN Do I act like a man who's joking?! PHIL Relax, Leo. I just can't believe you'd block something like that out. Carswell was at Harvard with us. You turned him in for cheating. MARVIN What...? PHIL Don't you remember? You brought action against him for stealing your psychoanalysis notes and they booted him. The only place that would take him after that was University of Guadalajara. Marvin tries to speak but nothing comes out of his mouth. Tomsky watches with concern. TOMKSY Leo, is there something about Carswell that's disturbing you? Leo...? MARVIN Thanks, Phil. Enjoy the party. Phil lingers then leaves, closing the door. Marvin begins shaking all over. As he does the bed rattles rapidly against the wall. Leo's losing it. He's no longer the same sane man. In the darkness we hear: MARVIN Baby steps, make a plan. INT. MARVIN'S BEDROOM, THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Fay sleeps soundly next to Marvin who is wide eyed, staring at the ceiling, twitching. Marvin pulls himself carefully out of bed and crawls on the floor to the door. EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME Marvin, carrying his shoes, crawls outside. He tries to put his shoes on and falls flat on his face. He then pulls himself up and hobbles away. EXT. THE WINNIPESAUKEE GENERAL STORE, MORNING This is where the Marvin family was shopping when Bob first came to town. Marvin paces outside until the owner opens the front door for business. INT. THE GENERAL STORE, MORNING Marvin wanders through the hardware section, looking around. FRED, the owner, works behind the counter. FRED Can I help you, doctor? MARVIN I want to buy a gun. FRED Okay. Fred walks to a case. FRED I've got Winchesters. Colts. What do you plan on hunting? MARVIN Er. An animal. This tall. Hundred and seventy pounds. Bermuda shorts. FRED Take a look at this baby. It'll shoot through anything but it also leaves a clean wound. He hands Marvin a rifle. Marvin examines it. FRED Your wife was in with that Bob fellow. Sure is a nice guy. MARVIN (handing back the rifle) What do you have that leaves a messy wound? ANGLE ON THE CASH REGISTER AREA Fred is ringing up Marvin's purchase: two rifles and a box of shells. FRED I'll need you driver's license, social security number, and you can pick them up on Friday... (checks a calendar) the 18th. MARVIN The eighteenth? FRED There's a two week waiting period in this state. MARVIN I can't wait two weeks! I need these now! He grabs the rifles. Fred keeps a firm grip on them. FRED Dr. Marvin, it's the law. Fred wins the tug-of-war. Marvin stares at him. MARVIN What about explosives? Any waiting period there? EXT. BOB'S COTTAGE, MORNING Marvin, carrying a bag and singing to himself, walks up to the cottage. He looks around then kicks open the door. INT. BOB'S COTTAGE, MORNING The place looks completely anonymous except for Gil in a bowl and Bob's bag of clothes. Marvin sits on the floor, filling a pair of milk cartons with gray powder. MARVIN (singing) "Bob fell in to a Burning ring of fire. He went down down down And the flames went higher. And it burned burned burned, That ring of fire. The ring of fire." Marvin removes a wired mechanism from the bag and a timer. He delicately pushes the wires into the milk cartons then carefully ties on some fuse wires. He puts the milk cartons and wired mechanisms into a BACKPACK and puts it under Bob's bed. He begins laying the fuse wire along the floor towards the door. Marvin passed Gil, sitting on a table. Marvin picks up the bowl and puts it under the bed next to the bomb. He then goes back to laying the wire into the kitchenette. EXT. BOB'S COTTAGE, SAME Marvin lays the fuse wire across room and out the door. He closes the door and starts to set the timer when he spots a note hanging on the nearby mailbox: MARVIN (reading aloud) "Dear Mr. and Mrs. G., If I'm not here, I'm at the Marvins. Would you feed Gil? Thanks. Bob. P.S. Your denture adhesives arrived so I put them in your mailbox. Enjoy. Bob. " Marvin seethes. He thinks a moment then heads back into the cottage. Momentarily he returns carrying the back pack and the long wire fuse. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DAY Bob, Anna and Siggy sit around watching Fay on the phone. FAY Well if you hear from him, Donna, please call... Thanks. She hangs up. FAY Nobody's seen him. She stands and gets her purse off the table. FAY I'm going looking for him. ANNA Me too. SIGGY Me too. BOB Me too. ANNA Shouldn't somebody stay here in case he comes back? SIGGY I'll stay. BOB I'll stay. FAY We'll leave him a note. She pauses then stops in front of Bob. FAY Bob, I'm not defending Leo's recent behavior in any way, so please don't take this personally. However irrational the reasons, Leo is so upset with you that I think it would be best if you weren't around when he comes back. BOB Really? SIGGY Yeah, mom. Why? FAY Because I say so, Siggy. (to Bob) Please don't think it's the way I want it. It's just that Leo's not himself. SIGGY It's not Bob's fault. BOB Listen to your mom, Siggy. All of you get out of here, okay? I'll straighten up before I go and when Dr. M. comes home, everything will be exactly the way he likes it. FAY Bob you're such a dear. Take good care, all right? Fay hugs Bob. So does Anna. BOB You give George a chance okay? Anna nods. Bob turns to Siggy who is upset. Bob holds out his hand. BOB Give me leather, ass wiping bastard head. Siggy swats Bob's hand. SIGGY Green puking piss-ant. The family and Bob exchange pregnant good-bye looks, then Fay and Siggy and Anna exit. BOB Bye, fam. NEW ANGLE, OUT THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW, SAME Bob watches as the Marvin family walks away. They wave. Bob waves back, sadly. He shuffles across the room. He stops at the puppets on the mantle. BOB I guess this is good-bye, fam. Bob shuffles to Marvin's chair. He stares at the book Marvin has been trying to read, Freud's Understanding Dreams then casually opens it. He reads for a moment, gets interested in it and sits down. He sits back in Marvin's chair, reading. DISSOLVE TO: INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, LATER Bob is asleep in Marvin's chair, Freud's Understanding Dreams open on his chest. Suddenly Marvin's face pops up at the window. He looks in, sees Bob, then ducks back down. Momentarily, the front door to the cottage is kicked open and there stands a seething Marvin. MARVIN Get up and don't make a sound! BOB Dr. M.! Everybody's looking for you. Marvin brandishes the back pack. MARVIN I said shut up! BOB Okay. You're the doc. EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME Marvin, carrying the back pack, leads Bob outside. Bob looks relaxed. BOB Where we going hiking? MARVIN Into the woods. BOB Is this is a new form of therapy? MARVIN Yeah, Bob, it's death therapy. It's a guaranteed cure. BOB Death therapy. I like it. Marvin leads Bob into the woods beside the cottage. EXT. THE WOODS NEAR THE HOUSE, SAME Bob sits on a stump. Marvin puts the back pack on Bob's shoulders then starts tying his hands behind him. Bob sits passively, letting him. BOB This is pretty imaginative, Dr. M. Will this be in your new book? MARVIN If it is, I'll dedicate it to you, how's that? BOB Great. Ow. That hurts. Ow. Marvin keeps tying Bob's hands. BOB What is this now, pain therapy? MARVIN Exactly. Now yell and scream and suffer! BOB Ow! Ahh! Ow! That really hurts. Marvin sets the timer then walks away. MARVIN Say hello to Freud for me. Marvin walks out of the woods. BOB Dr. M, this hurts! MARVIN (O.S.) Love hurts. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME Marvin enters, looking happy. He goes to the stereo, puts on Neil Diamond's "Penny Arcade" and cranks it up loud, then goes to the window and opens it. MARVIN (yelling to the woods) Music to die by, Bob! Marvin does a little dance and talks to himself. MARVIN I guess it was suicide, Fay. He tried it once, remember. Just goes to show, you never can tell. EXT. THE WOODS, SAME Bob sits trying to get comfortable. BOB I'm worried about getting gangrene, Dr. M! I think I get the point! He struggles some more. BOB (to himself) At least I think I get the point. (pause) Maybe I'm not supposed to sit here. (pause) Maybe I'm supposed to undo these outer knots... He begins struggling to untie himself. BOB So that my inner knots..., these strong..., restricting..., inner knots... He gets a hand free. BOB Will come undone too. Both hands free, Bob stands. BOB Yes! INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME Marvin is still dancing around, looking at his watch. He holds up five, four, three, two, one fingers then prepares for an explosion. Instead Bob opens the door. MARVIN Ahh! Still wearing the back pack, Bob walks into the room. BOB Death therapy cured me! Marvin runs across the room away from Bob. MARVIN No! BOB Yes! I used to be so afraid of everything, it was like dying a thousand deaths a day. Now, that you showed me I have only one death to be afraid of, I'm not afraid of anything anymore! MARVIN NOOOO! Marvin runs out the back door of the house. Bob stands there watching him. BOB Don't be so modest! EXT. THE MARVIN DOCK, DAY Marvin runs out to the dock and tries to start the little motor boat that sits there. Bob stops at the back door of the house, casually tosses the back pack onto a chair, then follows Marvin. BOB Dr. M.? Bob walks out onto the dock. Marvin is working frantically to start the motorboat. BOB Dr. M., I'm really cured! The house explodes. Debris rains down on Bob and Marvin. After it settles, the bust of Freud lands on the dock in front of them. BOB Did somebody leave the gas on? MARVIN Why won't you go away! I disgraced myself on national television! No one will buy my book! My family's going to hate me! BOB Dr. M., your family loves you. MARVIN I'M FINISHED! Marvin is about to attack Bob then stands limp, a beaten man. What's left of the house is now burning. The Guttmans have run out of their trailer. THE GUTTMANS Burn. Burn! Burn!! In the distance, SIRENS APPROACH. BOB Dr. M. you have the crown jewels of England all around you. You have a wife with a generous heart. You have great kids and an incredible sister. MARVIN Stay away from my sister! BOB Dr. M, you have a fam! Marvin stares at Bob then takes a small can of gas from the old motorboat and pours gas on himself. The SIRENS get closer. BOB You know, I'm beginning to think you're an ingrate. MARVIN What?! BOB People are miserable all over the world and you're killing yourself? You should be ashamed. MARVIN Don't talk that way to me! BOB Maybe I was wrong about you. MARVIN Do you hear me?! BOB Maybe you're not so good after all. Marvin leaps on Bob. MARVIN I'll kill you! Marvin attacks Bob on the dock. Fire trucks arrive. Fay and the family drive up too. As a couple of FIREMEN and the family rush to separate Marvin and Bob... LONG DISSOLVE TO: EXT. DOCTORS' HOUSE BOAT, SUNSET The doctors and their wives sit around Phil, stunned. Off their bow is the slab that was once the Marvin house. PHIL And they took him away. DOCTOR 1 My god, it was insanity. Bob drove Marvin to complete insanity! WIFE What happened? PHIL Leo was taken to the Tomsky Institute for a few days for observation. He lost his medical license, of course. A doctor can't try to kill one of his patients and expect to get away with it. WIFE Well thank god for that. (the other doctors stare daggers at her) I mean..., you know... I mean... (pause) Then what happened? PHIL Leo was returned to his family. EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, DAY Leo stands, small suitcase in hand, looking sad and fragile. Fay, Anna, Siggy, Lily and Bob get out of the station wagon and look at him. No one says a word, then Bob goes up and puts his arms around Leo. Leo stands motionless, shell shocked. PHIL (O.S.) Bob and the family rented a lakeside cottage where they could help Leo recuperate. EXT. THE LAWN OF A LAKESIDE COTTAGE, DAY Gil's bowl sits on a lawn table. In addition to Gil, the bowl now contains several baby guppies. Marvin lies on a deck chair, covered with a blanket, staring into nowhere. Bob is next to him, talking on a cordless phone. BOB (into phone) I understand. Sure. He hangs up and puts the phone down. BOB (to Leo) Tough business. Bob makes some notes in his organizer then gets up. He grabs hold of both of Leo's shoulders. BOB (reassuringly) I'm going over here. I'll be right over here. Leo doesn't look at him. A zombie would seem more alive. Bob goes and joins the volleyball game. BOB (O.S.) Okay, I'm with Siggy. Marvin sits staring into nowhere. The phone rings. Again. MARVIN (almost inaudible) Phone. The volleyball game continues. MARVIN (a touch louder) Phone. After another ring, he reaches for it. MARVIN (INTO PHONE) (listlessly affectless) Hello. VOICE ON PHONE May I speak to Bob, please? MARVIN (still staring into nowhere) Bob's... unavailable right now. Can... I take a message? VOICE ON PHONE I'm Mr. Jameson with the Tucson school district. Bob contacted us about buying some toothbrushes but we're going to have to cancel the order. MARVIN (writing) Tucson canceling order... Any message why? JAMESON (on phone) It's not a priority right now. MARVIN (writing) Not priority... right now. (pause) Why? JAMESON (ON PHONE) Well... money's tight and... MARVIN Sure. (pause) Though, you know there is another way to look at it. JAMESON (ON PHONE) What's that? MARVIN Well... if you gave a new toothbrush and taught dental hygiene to every student at your school... In the long run you'd save them thousands of dollars. I mean look at the cost of dental bills. I bet I could have put my kids through college with what I've spent on fillings. JAMESON That's an interesting point. MARVIN It is, isn't it? (pause) Maybe you should try the toothbrushes. You might do a lot for education by saving teeth. JAMESON Huh. I never thought of that. (pause) I tell you what. Tell Bob we'll take the order and see how it goes. MARVIN Great. Marvin hangs up the phone. He affectless expression suddenly turns to one full of thought. MARVIN Fay. Marvin sits up, gaining energy, even enthusiasm. MARVIN Fay! The Marvin family hurries over. PHIL (V.O.) Leo Marvin now makes toothbrushes. Bob puts his arm around Leo as he gestures and talks more and more animatedly to his delighted family. PHIL (V.O.) The irony, of course, is that Bob brought the family closer than they'd ever been before. Harvey Green saw Leo last month and said he never looked happier. EXT. THE DOCTOR'S HOUSE BOAT The doctors are stunned. FEINBERG My god. The poor bastard. ANOTHER DOCTOR And you thought you had nightmares. FEINBERG Unbelievable... WIFE What happened to Bob? The others jump in: "Yeah, what about Bob? What about Bob? What about Bob?" PHIL Bob married Lily and had triplets. He went back to school, got a degree in marriage-family-counseling, and now has a big practice on Park and 75th. INT. BOB WILEY'S MANHATTAN OFFICE, DAY Bob sits in the shrink's chair. Sitting in three chairs in front of him are a FATHER, MOTHER, and SON. SON Douche bag. MOTHER Bastard head! FATHER Son of a bitch! BOB (gently to the father) Try ass wipe of the universe. FATHER Ass wipe of the universe! The family look at each other. Tears well. They hug. BOB Excellent. EXT. THE DOCTORS ON THE BOAT The doctors look at each other in astonishment. DOCTOR 2 (V.O.) Wait a minute. You're not telling me that Bob Wiley is Dr. Robert S. Wiley, the psychologist?! PHIL That's exactly what I'm telling you. A BIG HOUSE BOAT goes by. Phil yells to it. PHIL Hey Bob! Hello, BOB!! ANGLE ON THE BIG HOUSEBOAT Bob is surrounded by Lily Marvin, three toddlers and lots of friends. Smiling, Bob waves at the doctors. FEINBERG (V.O.) Wrote that huge best seller? What's it called? Bob's boat turns. On it's stern, in huge letters is it's name: "Vacation Therapy". FEINBERG (V.O.) Vacation Therapy! PHIL (V.O.) Exactly. Sold 2 million copies. ANGLE ON THE DOCTORS BOAT who are dark green with envy. DOCTOR 2 I don't believe it! DOCTOR 1 Pinch me! FEINBERG I'll never take another vacation as long as I live! ANGLE ON BOB'S HOUSEBOAT As the other doctors second in agreement, WE SEE Bob's hugely happy houseboat motors off. We see Bob's big smile as he passes out Kleenex to his family then waves good-bye to the doctors. ROLL END CREDITS. THE END