THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS

	by

	Steve Kloves


	GLORIOUS PRODUCTIONS, INC
	4225 Coldwater Canyon
	Studio City, CA 91604 
			(818) 985-0430


	FINAL DRAFT

	11/4/1988


	FADE IN:

1	INT. APARTMENT - DUSK

	JACK BAKER is standing before a dirty window, looking
	out at a dirty city street. He is wearing a tuxedo.

					VOICE
			Hey.

	Jack looks at the GIRL in the bed, then at the rest of the
	apartment. Not good.

					JACK.
			Hey.

					GIRL
			Whatcha doin' over there?

					JACK
			Gotta go.

					GIRL
			How come?

					JACK
			Job.

	The girl glances at the bedside clock.

					GIRL
			Funny hours.

					JACK
			Funny job.

					GIRL
			Will I see you again?

	Jack looks out at the dirty street again.

					JACK
			No.

	The girl doesn't appear terribly unnerved by this.

					GIRL
				(the tux)
			You weren't wearing that, were you, earlier?

	Jack shakes his head, taps a brown bag on the sill.

					JACK
			Brought it.

					GIRL
			Thank God. You look like a creep.

					JACK
			Thanks.

					GIRL
			I mean, I'd hate to think I'd pick up someone who
			wore that shit.

	Jack nods, grabs the bag, and moves to the door.

					GIRL
			Hey.
				(as he stops)
			You got great hands.

	Hearing this, a slow smile forms on Jack's lips and:


	2	MAIN TITLES BEGIN

	A) OMITTED
	thru
	E)

	F) EXT. SEATTLE DOWNTOWN STREET - DUSK

			Jeff walking. (Street wetdown.)

	G) EXT. SEATTLE DOWNTOWN STREET - DUSK

			Jeff walking. (Street wetdown.)

	H) EXT. SEATTLE DOWNTOWN STREET - NIGHT.

			Jeff walking on way to work.

	I) EXT. SEATTLE DOWNTOWN STREET - NIGHT.

			Jeff walking on way to work.

	J) EXT. SEATTLE DOWNTOWN STREET - NIGHT.

			Jeff stops at State Liquor store purchase.

	   MAIN TITLES END, we...

								DISSOLVE TO:


	3	EXT. A NICE DOWNTOWN HOTEL (STARFIRE) - NIGHT

	As Jack approaches, he takes a hit off a flask of whiskey,
	then returns it to his pocket. A DOORMAN swings open
	the door.

					JACK.
			How'm I doing, Tommy?

					DOORMAN.
			Two minutes.


	4	INT. STARFIRE LOBBY - NIGHT

	As Jack enters the lobby, he lights a cigarette, and nods to
	a waitress (SHEILA) passing by.

					JACK
			Hey, Sheil. How's tips?

					SHEILA
			I ain't booking a cruise.

					JACK
			You seen my brother?

					SHEILA
			In the john.


	5	INT. STARFIRE BATHROOM - NIGHT

	Jack's brother, FRANK, is standing in front of the mirror,
	stuffing the collar of his tux with towels while LOUIS, an
	old black attendant, looks on. Jack enters.

					JACK
				(a nod)
			Louis.

					FRANK
			You're giving me an ulcer, Jack.

					JACK
			I'm early.

					FRANK
			Forty-five seconds doesn't qualify as early, Jack.
			Jesus, who's doing your tux these days?

					JACK
			Moon.

					FRANK
			Go to China Boy, will ya. You look like you just
			crawled out of bed.

	Jack picks up a tiny spray can on the sink, reads it.

					JACK
			"Be the envy of all your friends with Crowning
			Glory's Miracle Hair"...?
				(looking up)
			You gotta be kidding.

	Jack studies the bald spot on the crown of his brother's
	head, then shakes the can. A MIXING BALL is heard.

					JACK
			This is paint, Frank.

					FRANK
			It's not paint.
				(pointing to the can)
			It's a "magical sheath which simulates a dazzling
			head of hair."

					JACK
			Frank, this is paint.

					FRANK
			Just help me put it on, okay? You're supposed to
			spray in a circular motion.

	As Frank positions himself, Jack exchanges a glance with
	Louis. Shrugging, Jack gives the can a shake, steps back,
	and fires away.

					FRANK
			Well...?

	Jack just stares. There is a dark spot on the back of Frank's
	head about the size of a scooter pie.

					FRANK
			Louis?

	Louis looks up. His face could conceal a royal flush.

					LOUIS
			Dazzling...

	APPLAUSE is heard as we...

								CUT TO:


	6	INT. STARFIRE LOUNGE - CLOSEUP - A CARDBOARD STAND-UP - NIGHT

	featuring two 8x10 glossies of Frank and Jack (more hair)
	and in bold letters: "TONIGHT! THE FABULOUS
	BAKER BOYS!"

	We HOLD on the stand-up, then RISE above it to reveal a
	candlelit lounge, where Jack and Frank sit behind
	matching grand pianos, a poor man's version of Ferrante
	and Teicher.

					FRANK
				(Mr. Smile)
			Thank you, thank you. Good evening and welcome
			to the Starfire Lounge. My name is Frank Baker
			and eighty-eight keys across from me is my little
			brother Jack.

	The audience -- consisting of middle-aged out-of-towners
	swilling enormous banana daiquiris -- APPLAUDS.

					FRANK
			You know, my brother and I have been playing
			together, gosh, I don't know. How long has it
			been, Jack?

					JACK
				(lighting cigarette)
			Thirty-one years, Frank.

					FRANK
			That's a lot of water under the bridge, eh, Jack?

					JACK
			Lotta water.

					FRANK
			Of course, back then, things were a little different.
			I was eleven, Jack was seven. and about the only
			one who would listen to us was the family cat,
			Cecil. We must've shaved three lives off that cat,
			eh, Jack?

	The audience, having the benefit of the daiquiris,
	LAUGHS. Jack smiles like he's got a mouth full of razor
	blades.

					FRANK
			But seriously. It's been fifteen years since Jack
			and I first stepped onto the stage as professionals.
			But even though we've played some of the finest
			venues in the world... there's one place that's
			always been, for us, a very special place, and
			that place is... this place, the Starfire Lounge.

	Jack lays in a few soft bass chords.

					FRANK
			Why? Well, I guess you could say it's the...
				(pregnant moment)
			...people.

	At which point, Frank's hands descend onto the keyboard
	and give birth to the melody of -- what else? -- "People."


	7 	INT. STARFIRE KITCHEN - LATER

	Jack and Frank pass through the steamy hotel kitchen.


					FRANK
			Now when we go in there, don't make trouble,
			all right?

					JACK
			Who's gonna make trouble?

					GIRL'S VOICE
			Hi, Jack.

	A young GIRL in an apron smiles at Jack.

					JACK
			Hi, Jenny. New earings?

					JENNY
			Like 'em?

					JACK
			Swell. You got something for me?

	The girl holds up a huge soup bone.

					JENNY
			Been hiding it from Hector all day.

					JACK
			You're a doll.

					FRANK
				(as they exit)
			I mean it Jack. Behave.

					JACK
			Like an angel.


	8	INT. LLOYD'S OFFICE - NIGHT

	Frank stands across the desk from the hotel's very young,
	very condescending assistant manager (LLOYD) as he
	prepares a cash envelope. Jack stays in the doorway,
	smoking.

					LLOYD
			Terrific, boys. Really. Terrific. Yes, sir... You're
			just what we needed on a night like this.

					FRANK
			Uh... thanks, Lloyd.

	Frank glances at Jack and realises he should have left him
	in the kitchen with Jenny and the soup bone.

					LLOYD
			Only Jack, do me a favour, will ya, pal. If you
			wanna smoke onstage, put on a pair of sunglasses
			and go play with the niggers on State Street.

	Smoke curls out of Jack's nose. He is utterly still, like a pit
	bull eyeing a steak.

					LLOYD
			Okay, boys, that ought to buy you a few more
			lessons. By the way, Frankie, I'm declaring this.

	Lloyd slaps a slender envelope onto the desk.

					FRANK
			Uh... You don't know when you'll be wanting us
			back, do you, Lloyd?

					LLOYD
			I'll call you.

					FRANK
			Uh, well, you know, the way our schedule is, I
			thought maybe...

					LLOYD
			I'll call you.

	Frank bites down and takes the envelope from the desk.

					JACK
			Count it.

					FRANK
			Huh?

					JACK
			Count it.

					FRANK
			Jack...

					JACK
			Count the fucking money, Frank.

	Lloyd looks up. Jack is staring right into him. Reluctantly,
	Frank opens the envelope.

					FRANK
			It's all here.
				(pulling Jack out)
			I'll be talking to you, Lloyd.

	Lloyd doesn't answer. He just looks at Jack, smiling with
	amusement.


	9	EXT. STREET - NIGHT

	Jack comes out onto the street with the wrapped up soup
	bone. Frank follows with the stand-up.

					FRANK
			Very nice, Jack. Very nice.

					JACK
			Fuck him.

					FRANK
			This isn't the Pine Tree Inn on Route 81, Jack.

					JACK
			Fuck him.

					FRANK
			Fuck him. Great, terrific. Fuck him.

	As Frank reaches his car, he opens the trunk for the
	stand-up, then counts out Jack's share of the night's money.

					JACK
			So we on tomorrow night?

					FRANK
			Maybe Thursday. I hear the harpist at the
			Sheraton's got appendicitis.

	Frank slams the trunk closed.

					JACK
			Hey.

	As Frank turns, Jack tosses him the Miracle Hair can.

					JACK
			Don't forget your hair.


	10 	INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

	Small, old, sparsely furnished. A piano by the window, an
	old phonograph, a bookcase full of records. Few
	photographs.

	As Jack enters, EDDIE, an old black Labrador, walks over
	and yawns.

					JACK
			Try to control your excitement, will ya, Ed.

	Eddie nuzzles the soup bone.

					JACK
			Let's see your mouth.
				(taking a look)
			All right. But go easy.

	As Eddie retreats with the bone, Jack breaks the collar of
	his shirt and pauses by the piano. He considers the keys
	but, instead, flips on the PHONOGRAPH. As Bill Evans'
	smoky piano solo "Turn Out the Stars" spills quietly into
	the room, Jack takes off his tie... then stops. He glances to
	the kitchen: dishes drip-drying in a rack. He touches an
	ashtray: clean.

	Taking two silent steps backward, Jack peers into the
	bedroom. Inside, curled up on the bed, is a little girl
			(NINA). Jack studies her a moment, then, taking the bottle
	of whiskey from his coat, sits at the piano by the window,
	staring into the night.


	11	EXT. JACK'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING (EARLY)

	The sun begins to peek through the buildings of Jack's
	neighborhood. Suddenly, ringing out over the rooftops is
	"JINGLE BELLS" -- not the entire song, just the first few
	bars, over and over.


	12	INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - MORNING

	Jack, on the couch covered with a blanket, his arm draped
	over the slumbering Eddie, opens his eyes, Across the
	room, seated at the piano, is Nina, the little girl. She stops
	playing and turns.

					NINA
			If you want some coffee? I made some coffee.

	Jack looks into the sleepy face of Eddie and sits up. He
	nods to the coffee. Nina goes to the kitchen,

					NINA
				(the piano)
			I practiced last night. I think I'm ready for "oh,
			what fun it is to ride."

	Jack nods. Suddenly the SOUND of heavy footsteps is
	heard. Jack and Nina glance up at the ceiling.

					JACK
			Sounds big. What's he do?

					NINA
			I don't know. Ma said it's like a lawyer, only the
			hours are more regular. All I know's he came to
			take the TV one afternoon and ended up staying
			for dinner.

					JACK
			What happened to the donut king?

					NINA
			Married.

	Upstairs, a door slams and heavy feet ECHO in the
	stairwell. Nina peers out the window.

					NINA.
			No breakfast. Maybe they had a fight.

	Two deep thumps SOUND on the ceiling, a signal.

					NINA
			Gotta go. Teach me later?

	Jack nods. As Nina exits, Jack turns to the couch and
	gives Eddie a nudge.

					JACK
			Hey.


	12A	EXT. WILLIE'S PIANO SHOWROOM - DAY

	The front window is cluttered with photographs of
	celebrity patrons, including two of Jack and Frank in their
	tuxedos.


	13 	INT. PIANO SHOWROOM - DAY

	Inside, Jack and Frank pick through a sea of rentals.

					FRANK
			I just think it's time you came out for a visit, that's
			all. I mean, how long's it been? A year?

					JACK
				(pointing to a piano)
			Try the Bosen.

	As Jack plays a little "Alfie" on one grand, Frank follows
	suit on another. Jack frowns and glances across the room,
	where a fat MAN sits absorbed in the racing form.

					JACK
			When you getting the Steinways back in, Willie?

					WILLIE
			Wednesday next.

	Jack frowns again, moves to another piano.

					FRANK
			Look. Here's what I'm saying. You come out to the
			house next weekend. You spend a few hours with
			the kids. You have a ball.

					JACK
			I hate your kids, Frank.

					FRANK
			You're their uncle.

					JACK
			Only by relation. Besides, they hate me too.

					FRANK
			They don't. They're always asking about you.

					JACK
			They tried to electrocute me.

					FRANK
			It was an accident.

					JACK
			It was no fucking accident. The little one...

					FRANK
			Cindy.

					JACK
			She threw a goddamn radio into the bathtub. How
			do you explain that?

					FRANK
			She didn't know what she was doing. You're too
			sensitive.

					JACK
			You got weird kids, Frank.

					FRANK
				(wearying of this)
			Look. It's Cindy's birthday. It'd be nice if you came
			out.

			Jack
				(pointing)
			Try the Yamaha.

	Jack and Frank do a little "I Think I'm Going Out Of My
	Head", then Frank looks up for a verdict.

					JACK
				(exiting)
			Tag 'em.

					FRANK
			The Capri, Willie. Monday and Tuesday.


	14	INT. CAPRI HOTEL/LUAU LOUNGE - NIGHT

	Decked out in Hawaiian shirts, Jack and Frank bang out
	"The Girl From Ipanema," while the audience -- three
	sorry-looking businessmen -- stares glumly at the
	grass-skirted waitresses yawning by the bar.

					FRANK
			...Thank you. The concludes our show for the
			evening. Jack and I only hope you enjoyed
			yourselves as much as we did.


	15.	INT. CAPRI HOTEL MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT

	Frank stops before a half-open door marked "HOTEL
	MANAGER." Inside, a heavy MAN in a shiny suit is
	throwing darts in the general direction of a dartboard.
	He's not very good.

					MAN (CHARLIE)
			Frankie.

					FRANK
			You wanted to see me, Charlie?

					CHARLIE
			Yeah, yeah. Come on in.

					FRANK
			Little slow tonight.

					CHARLIE
				(waving it off)
			Mondays. How's Jack?

					FRANK
			Okay.

					CHARLIE
			The reason I wanted to see you alone... I mean the
			kitchen crew, the maids -- everybody loves him.
			But me, he makes me nervous.

					FRANK
			Sometimes he makes me nervous.

					CHARLIE
			Yeah. Well, anyway.

	Charlie takes an envelope, hands it to Frank.

					FRANK
			What's this?

					CHARLIE
			Your pay.

					FRANK
			What about tomorrow?

					CHARLIE
			It's all there. Both nights.

					FRANK
			What are you saying, Charlie?

					CHARLIE
			Look, Frankie. You and Jack been playing here a
			long time.

					FRANK
			Twelve years.

					CHARLIE
			Maybe it's time we took a vacation from one
			another.

					FRANK
			Vacation? Christ, Charlie, it's a Monday night. You
			said so yourself... I've got the pianos for two
			nights...

					CHARLIE
			It wasn't half full out there tonight, Frankie. I got
			six waiters standing in back listening to baseball.
			I gotta move the liquor. To move the liquor, I gotta
			fill the tables. It's a matter of economics. Me, I
			love you guys, you know that. You're class. But
			people today. They don't know class if it walks
			up and grabs 'em by the balls.


	16 	INT. CAPRI HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT (MINUTES LATER)


	As Jack waits, he notices an elegantly dressed woman
	watching him. She smiles. As Jack considers her, Frank
	appears, carrying the stand-up.

					JACK
			Charlie's aim getting any better?

	Frank keeps walking. Jack notices the stand-up.

					JACK
			What's with the board?

					FRANK
			We're dark tomorrow.

					JACK
			Dark?

					FRANK
			Don't worry. Charlie stayed true. I'll give you your
			share this weekend. At the house.

	As Frank moves quickly out of the door, the CAMERA
	PUSHES IN SLOWLY on Jack's face.


	17 	OMITTED
	thru
	18a


	19 	EXT. STREET/FRANK'S HOUSE - DAY

	A taxi dumps Jack out onto the street of shabby tract
	houses. In his rumpled city suit, Jack looks like a cheap
	gangster amid the weedy lawns and overgrown junipers.
	He stuffs the gift he's carrying into his coat and walks up
	to the small white house, presses the bell. No response.

	The back yard is small, with a short chain link fence
	surrounding it. Two kids -- a girl (CINDY) and a boy --
	wearing party hats and buoyance devices, are splashing
	around in a build-it-yourself above-ground pool. When
	they see Jack coming, they hunker down like crocodiles,
	only their heads visible.

					JACK
			Hey, kids. Dad home?

	The two heads say nothing.

					JACK
			What d'ya say? Wanna run and get him for me?

	Still nothing. Jack frowns, takes out a cigarette, pats his
	pocket for matches. No matches.

					JACK
			Shit.

	The kids' eyes widen at this profanity. Jack ponders things
	a moment, then steps over the fence.

	At which point, the tiniest head begins to SCREAM.

					JACK
			Hey, kid. Take it easy.

	No use. The kid's a world-class screamer. Suddenly
	Frank comes racing out of the house.

					FRANK
			Cindy! What is it?
				(seeing Jack)
			Jack.

					JACK
			Your doorbell doesn't work.

					FRANK
			Honey, it's only Uncle Jack. You remember Uncle
			Jack.
				(to Jack)
			It's probably just the excitement of seeing you again.

	As Jack nods slowly, we...

								CUT TO:


	20 	INT. FRANK'S DINING ROOM - EARLY EVENING


	A battered birthday cake, which reads "Happy Birthday
	Cindy", sits amid crumpled party hats and shreds of gift
	wrap. Jack stands alone, looking out the window into the
	back yard. Turning, he glances at the cake, then exits.


	21 	INT. FRANK'S HALLWAY - EARLY EVENING

	At the end of the hallway, shadows cling to the ceiling
	outside the kitchen and VOICES can be heard -- the sound
	of family. As Jack moves towards the light, a half-open
	door catches his eye. Stopping, he pushes the door open,
	flips on a lamp.


	22 	INT. BAKER BOYS' ROOM - EARLY EVENING

	Elvis has Graceland. The Fabulous Baker Boys have this
	little room in a tract house in the suburbs.

	Memorabilia is everywhere: music ribbons, newspaper
	clippings, photographs of Jack and Frank at every age,
	always dressed alike, smiling identical smiles. The first
	stand-up is there, carefully mounted and framed. Sheet
	music, dusty and dog-eared, is everywhere, piled in
	drunken stacks.

	But most noticeable are the pianos: two tiny uprights,
	perfectly matched, their simulated ivory keys yellowed
	with age.

	Jack enters and surveys all around him. There is a shelf
	crowded with shot glasses from a hundred hotels, and,
	next to that, a stack of souvenir coasters from another
	hundred. Seeing a tiny monkey with "Hula Girl
	Hideaway" printed on it's belly (lighter), Jack gives one
	of the little plastic arms a flick and -- snap -- the little
	tiki torch in the other hand flames up. Jack lights the unlit
	cigarette in his mouth, replaces the monkey.

	Slowly, Jack's eyes come back to the pianos. He taps a
	key on the one nearest him and a curious expression falls
	over his face. He moves to the other piano, taps a key.
	They're in tune.

	Turning, Jack sees that little Cindy is standing behind him,
	holding a pocket radio. She looks at it, then takes a step
	forward and holds her arms up to him. Jack looks wary.
	She shakes her arms impatiently and he bends down.
	Putting her hands on his neck, she gives him a kiss, then
	runs out of the room.


					WOMAN'S VOICE
			Looks like you've found yourself a girlfriend.

	Jack looks up, sees Franks' wife, DONNA.

					JACK
			The young ones always break your heart.

	Donna nods, gestures to the pianos.

					DONNA
			Which one was yours? I can never remember.

	Jack taps the one nearest to him and Donna nods again,
	then studies a photo on the wall.

					DONNA
			Funny... I don't ever seem to come in here... you
			guys were really something, weren't you?

					JACK
			Yeah, well, Frank always made sure we dressed
			sharp. Said that was half of it.

	Donna nods. She and Jack obviously don't talk much.

					DONNA
			So, how's that dog of yours?

					JACK
			Losing his teeth.

	Donna nods slowly, then does a little shiver.

					DONNA
			Gee, it's cold on here, isn't it? Think I need a
			sweater.

	Donna starts to exit, then stops by the door.

					DONNA
			Thanks for coming, Jack. The radio, that was nice.

	As Donna exits, Jack notices a stack of glossies on a table.
	As he touches them they fan into a dozen images of himself.


	23	INT./EXT. FRANK'S CAR - NIGHT

	As Frank drives Jack back to his apartment, Jack taps an
	unlit cigarette on the dash.

					FRANK
				(a shiver)
			Jesus, it's gonna be mean this year, huh?

	Jack taps the cigarette.

					JACK
			What happened the other night, Frank? With
			Charlie.

	Frank says nothing, just driving.

					JACK
			He paid us off, didn't he? Fifteen years, Frank.
			No one paid us off.

					FRANK
			He made a deal. There's no shame in it.

	Jack stares at Frank, then looks back out the window.

					FRANK
			We gotta talk.

					JACK
			Talk.

					FRANK
			I been thinking maybe we should make some
			changes.
				(pauses)
			I been thinking maybe we should take on a singer.

	Silence. Jack taps the cigarette again.

					FRANK
			It's just an idea. I want your opinion. I mean, we go
			halfway on everything, right?

					JACK
			I wouldn't say exactly halfway, would you?

					FRANK
			We agreed if I took care of the business I'd be
			entitled to a little extra. Isn't that what we agreed?

					JACK
			That's what we agreed.

					FRANK
			If you're unhappy with the arrange...

					JACK
			I'm not unhappy.

					FRANK
			If you'd like to assume more of the financial
			responsibilities, I'd be...

					JACK
			Frank. Fuck it. Okay?
				(beat)
			How much? For the singer.

					FRANK
			I thought maybe twenty percent. I figure with the
			additional bookings we'll come out ahead. The
			big hotels, they want a pretty girl with a big voice.
			We have to stay competitive.

	Jack laughs coldly.

					FRANK
			What?

	Jack says nothing, just tapping the cigarette again.

					FRANK
			Two pianos isn't enough anymore, Jack.

	Jack looks out the window, at the night flickering by.

					JACK
			It never was.


	24 	INT. WILLIE'S REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY	

	A YOUNG WOMAN in a pink sweater and short black
	skirt stands in a tiny room in the back of Willie's
	showroom, holding some sheet music. Sammy Davis Jr.s
	face is on the sheet music. Frank is sitting with a notepad
	on his lap. Jack is at the piano.

					FRANK
			Good morning, miss...?

					YOUNG WOMAN (MONICA)
			Moran. Monica Moran.

					FRANK
			All right, Miss Moran...

					MONICA
			Actually, that's my stage name.

					FRANK
			I'm sorry?

					MONICA
			Moran. Monica. The whole thing. It's my stage
			name. My real name's Blanche.

					FRANK
			Blanche...

					MONICA
			No romance, right? That's why I came up with
			Monica. It's what I prefer.

					FRANK
			Well, that's fine.

					MONICA
			But if you call my house and my mother answers,
			ask for Blanche. If you ask for Monica, she'll think
			you have the wrong number and hang up.

					FRANK
			Right.

					MONICA
			And if she asks what it's about, don't tell her. She's
			opposed to my career.

					FRANK
			Uh huh. Well, Miss Moran, what is it you'd like to
			do for us?

					MONICA
			"Candy Man."
				(worried)
			Is that all right?

					FRANK
			It's one of Jack's favourites.

	Monica turns, and, seeing Jack at the piano, gives a little
	start.

					MONICA
			Oops. I almost forgot you were there. Here's the
			instructions.

	Monica begins to hand Jack the sheet music.

					FRANK
			Uh... he knows it.

					MONICA
			Really? Isn't that a coincidence?

					JACK
			Small world.

	Monica smiles. She likes Jack.

					FRANK
			Well, shall we?

	Probably not, but Jack begins to play anyway. Swinging
	her arms and tapping her foot, Monica gets a feel for the
	rhythm, then launches in --  between beats -- so that Jack
	has to scramble over a chord to rescue her.

					MONICA
			"Who can take a sunrise
			Sprinkle it with dew
			Toss it in the air and make a groovy lemon pie
			The Candy Man can
			The Candy Man can..."

	There would appear to be ample evidence as to why the
	mother of Monica nee Blanch opposes her daughter's
	career.

					FRANK
			Thank you, Miss Moran, that's enough.

	Monica -- eyes closed, arms flung wide -- is fully caught
	up in the moment. Frank looks at Jack. Jack shrugs and
	continues to play.

					FRANK
			Miss Moran... Miss Moran... BLANCH!

	Monica's eyes pop open, her mouth shut.

					MONICA
			Oh, sorry. I get so caught up in it sometimes. It's
			 scary.

					FRANK
			Yes, it is.

					MONICA
			Well... thanks.
				(to Jack)
			Bye. Boy, you're good.

					JACK
			Drive carefully.

	As Monica exits, Jack and Frank glance at one another
	apprehensively and a --


	25  	MONTAGE BEGINS

	in which a parade of singers come forth to offer their own
	unique interpretations of:

	A) "Feelings,"

	B) "I Gotta Be Me," (sung by twins)

	C) "This Is My Song," and perhaps most appropriately,

	D) “What Kind Of Fool Am I?”

	When it’s all over, Jack and Frank -- ties limp, collars
	broken -- look like they’ve been mugged.

					FRANK
			This must be statistically impossible.


	26 	INT. WILLIE'S SHOWROOM - DAY

	A YOUNG WOMAN appears in the doorway, heavily
	BACKLIT. A silhouette in high heels. Willie, eating a
	corn beef on rye, looks up.

					YOUNG WOMAN
			Hey. You one of the Fabulous Baker Boys?


	27	INT. WILLIE’S REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY (SAME TIME)

	Frank is counting names on his note pad.

					FRANK
			Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven girls and not one who
			can carry a tune.

					JACK
			There was a certain surreal quality to it.

					YOUNG WOMAN (O.S.)
			Goddamnit!

	The woman in high heels stumbles into the doorway,
	holding a shoe in her hand. It’s broken.

					SUSIE
			Brand new Thursday. Believe it?

	After today, Jack and Frank are prepared to believe
	anything.

					SUSIE
			This where the auditions are?

					FRANK
			This is where the auditions WERE. We’re finished.

					SUSIE
			What about me?

					FRANK
			You’re an hour and a half late.

					SUSIE
			Yeah, well, I had a little trouble catching a cab.

					FRANK
			Punctuality. First rule of showbusiness.

					SUSIE
				(looking around)
			This is showbusiness?

					FRANK
				(in no mood)
			Look, Miss. We’re tired, you have gum on your
			lip, and we’re going home.

					SUSIE
				(touching her lip)
			Just like that, huh? I come all the way down here,
			break a heel, and you’re not going to give me a
			chance because I have gum on my lip and I’m a
			few minutes late?

					FRANK
			You’re an hour and a half late. Do you want me
			to say it again?

					SUSIE
			It’s not exactly bewitching me.
				(stepping in)
			Besides, you’re not going anywhere.

					FRANK
			I beg your pardon?

					SUSIE
			Intuition, I’ve had a hunch about this all day.
			Only I gotta say, in my mind it was a little more
			glamorous. And anyway, if I’m so late how come
			you’re still here?

					FRANK
			We ran long.

					SUSIE
			Uh huh. So where’s the winner?

	Frank looks a little thrown. Susie nods knowingly and
	makes a little clicking noise as she taps her head.

					SUSIE
			See? What I tell you? Intuition.

					FRANK
				(pleading)
			Jack.

	Jack studies the girl, shrugs.

					JACK
			What’ve we got to lose?

					FRANK
			Terrific. Thirty-eight.

					SUSIE
			What’s that? Thirty-eight? You guys have some
			kind of code or something?

	Jack gestures as if to say, “it’s nothing”.

					SUSIE
				(to Frank)
			You know, I’m sensing a lot of hostility from you.

	Frank ignores this and sits down with the notepad.

					FRANK
			Name?

					SUSIE
			Susie. Susie Diamond.

					JACK
			Catchy. You have any previous experience as
			a singer, Miss Diamond?

					SUSIE
			No.

					FRANK
			You have any entertainment experience at all?

					SUSIE
			Well... for the last couple years I’ve been on call
			for the Triple A Escort Service.

	Jack and Frank exchange a glance.

					FRANK
			Any RATIONAL reason you think you can sing
			professionally, Miss Diamond?

					SUSIE
			Well, I figure if you want to see if you can swim,
			throw yourself in the water. What’s the worst that
			can happen?

					FRANK
			How about drown?

					SUSIE
			You know, my bet is that you’re too literal a
			person.

					JACK
				(intervening)
			What is it you’d like to share with us today,
			Miss Diamond?

					SUSIE
			“More Than You Know.”

					JACK
			Key?

					SUSIE
			Low.

	Jack nods and begins to play.

					SUSIE
			Real slow, okay?

	Frank slumps in his chair, ready to be tortured again.

					SUSIE
			“More than you know
			More than you know
			Man of my heart
			I love you so
			Lately I find
			You’re on my mind
			More than you know...

			Whether you’re right
			Whether you’re wrong
			Man of my heart
			I’ll string along
			You need me so
			More than you’ll ever know...”

	Susie stops. Frank Just sits there. Jack just sits there.
	She can sing.

					SUSIE
			So?

					FRANK
			Uh... We'll let you know.

	Jack shoots Frank a glance.

					SUSIE
			Don't leave a girl hanging. Second rule of
			showbusiness.

	Frank's not amused.

					SUSIE
			Yeah, well, okay. 'Bye, Bakers. Nice socks.

	Susie walks out barefoot. Jack's eyes have Frank pinned.

					FRANK
			I just thought we should talk about it between
			ourselves. I mean, don't you think she's got a little
			too much... personality?

					JACK
			I think she's got half a voice. That makes her a
			goddamn diva in this choir. We put one of those
			other girls onstage, we're gonna get arrested.
				(leaning forward)
			And in case you didn't notice, I'm not sure
			anybody's gonna be keeping track of how many
			notes she hits.

					FRANK
			What? Her? She looks like a tramp.

					JACK
			Trust me.

					FRANK
				(the notepad)
			Look, not all of them were awful. Here, Teresa
			Meyers. A very nice low soprano. Sweet,
			unassuming...

					JACK
			Low soprano? That girl could make bats cry.
			Besides, she was sixteen. What're we gonna do,
			help her with her algebra between sets?

	Frank stares glumly at the notepad.

					JACK
			Frank. There ain't no pearls in a litter box.

					FRANK
			All right. I'll call her.

	Frank rises wearily, then freezes.

					JACK
			What?


	28 	EXT. STREET OUTSIDE SHOWROOM - DAY

	Jack and Frank dash outside. Nobody.

					FRANK
			We can always look her up in the book.

					JACK
			Right. Susie Diamond. She's probably listed right
			next to Monica Moran.

	The sound of a MATCH STRIKING is heard. There,
	lighting a cigarette in the doorway, is Susie. She exhales.

					SUSIE
			Intuition.


	29 	INT. WILLIE'S REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY.

	The new trio poises for their first rehearsal.

					FRANK
			Ready?

	Jack nods.

					FRANK
			Ready?

	Susie, sitting on a stool smoking, nods without looking
	up from her lyric sheet. Frank pauses, then...

					FRANK
			Ready?

	Jack squints strangely at Frank. Frank turns to Susie.

					FRANK
			Ready?

					SUSIE
			What are we, an orchestra all of a sudden?

	Frank glares at her.

					SUSIE
			READY.

	Frank begins to play the opening passage of "Can't Take
	My Eyes Off of You". Jack joins in, then Susie.
	Unfortunately, Jack and Frank, accustomed to playing
	alone, are a tad overwhelming.

					SUSIE
			Fellas, fellas...

	Jack and Frank stop.

					FRANK
			What's the problem?

					SUSIE
			The problem is I can't hear myself sing with all
			this... music. You know what I'm saying?

	Jack and Frank look at one another.

					SUSIE
			I mean back there it may be hard to notice, but up
			here I'm having trouble getting a word in.

	Jack and Frank just stare.

					SUSIE
			I mean you're supposed to be backing me up, right?

					FRANK
				(icily)
			No. We are not supposed to be backing you up.

					SUSIE
			What I mean is...

					JACK
			We'll bring it down.

	Susie's eyes shift to Jack.

					JACK
			Okay?

					SUSIE
			Okay.


	30 	EXT. JACK'S APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING

	Once again, "Jingle Bells" is heard. Plaintively picked out
	on PIANO.


	31 	INT. BATHROOM - JACK'S APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING (SAME TIME)

	A tuxedo, freshly pressed, hangs in the shower as Eddie
	watches Jack soap his face with a shaving brush, then picks
	up a razor. As NINA CLINKS badly on the final note of
	"in a one horse open sleigh", Jack almost slices open his
	throat.

					JACK
			Sharp! F Sharp!
				(eyeing his throat)
			Jesus.

	As Nina appears in the doorway, she sees the blood
	welling on Jack's neck.

					NINA
			You're bleeding, Jack.

	As Jack gives her a "no kidding" look.

					JACK
			Hand me a towel, Chopin

	Nina starts to gather up towels, cleaning up, and hands
	one to Jack. She notes the shaving brush.

					NINA
			You shave like a old movie, Jack.
				(nodding to ceiling)
			Bigfoot gets his out of a can.

					JACK
			Yeah? How do you know?

					NINA
			I saw his stuff in the bathroom.

					JACK
			Sounds serious.

					NINA
			Uh uh. No toothbrush.

					JACK
			What do you mean?

					NINA
			No toothbrush. Toothbrush is serious. The donut
			king...?

					JACK
			Yeah?

					NINA
			He had a toothbrush. And toothpaste.

					JACK
			I thought he was married.

	Nina exits with an armful of laundry.

					NINA (O.S.)
			He was married, but he was serious.


	32	INT. HILTON LOBBY - NIGHT (AN HOUR LATER)

	As Frank paces, Jack smokes calmly.

					FRANK
			I told everyone seven-fifteen. Didn’t I?
			Seven-fifteen.

					JACK
			She’ll get here.

					FRANK
			Just like the day of the auditions, right? Jesus.
			How’s my hair?

					JACK
			Awe inspiring.

					FRANK
			Yeah, well, yours isn’t. Let me run a comb through
			it.

					JACK
			Get out of here!

					FRANK
			It’s not gonna hurt you.

					JACK
			I’ll hit you, Frank. I swear.

	Frank hesitates, like a basketball player trying to feint an
	opponent, then takes a flick at Jack’s hair. Jack cuffs him
	on the shoulder.

					FRANK
			You hit me.

					JACK
			I told you I was gonna hit you.

	He looks capable of hitting him again, too.

					FRANK
			All right, I’m a little wound up.

					JACK
			You’re a fucking alarm clock.

					FRANK
			I just wish she’d get here.

					JACK
			She’s here.

	Susie, wearing a flamboyant dress, is standing across the
	lobby, staring at the stand-up.

					FRANK
			Christ, look at her.
				(walking over)
			Good evening, Miss Diamond. You’re late.

	Susie is still looking at the stand-up, which is unchanged
	except for a small notation at the bottom: “WITH GUEST
	VOCALIST.”

					SUSIE
			Guest vocalist? Who’s next week? Beverly Sills?
			And how come you guys are the only ones with
			your pictures on the poster?

					FRANK
			We’ll talk about it later. Where’s your dress?

					SUSIE
				(to Jack)
			What’s he talking about?

					FRANK
			Is there a language problem here? Your dress. For
			tonight. Where is it?

					SUSIE
			Do I look like I’m naked?

					FRANK
			That! Are you insane!

					SUSIE
				(to Jack)
			He doesn’t like the dress, right?

	Before Jack can reply, Frank grabs Susie’s arm.

					SUSIE
			Hey!

					FRANK
			Come on. We don’t have much time.

	33	INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DRESS DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

	As the trio dashes into Ladies Wear, Frank begins to flip
	frantically through the dress racks.

					FRANK
			What do you wear? An eight?

					SUSIE
				(offended)
			A six.

					FRANK
			My wife wears a six. You don’t look like a six
			to me.

					SUSIE
			I WEAR A SIX.

					FRANK
			Okay, okay. Here, how about this?

					SUSIE
			Save it for your wife.

					FRANK
			Jack, you find anything?

	Jack has drifted to lingerie.

					JACK
			Maybe.

					FRANK
			Here, how’s this?

	Frank holds out an inky black dress. Susie sizes it up.

					FRANK
			Close enough. Let’s go.

	Frank begins to drag Susie into the dressing room.

					SUSIE
			Hey, pal. I don’t know about you, but where I
			come from there’s a little girl’s room and a little
			boy’s room and the little boys don’t go where the
			little girls go.

					FRANK
			All right, but make it quick.
				(remembering)
			Shoes! What size do you wear?

					SUSIE
				(from the dressing room)
			Nine.

					FRANK
			Nine?

					SUSIE (O.S.)
			NINE!

					FRANK
				(to himself)
			Big feet.


	34 	INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - SHOE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

	Frank and Jack work the shoe department quickly.

					FRANK
			See anything?

					JACK
			How about these?

	Frank grabs the shoe out of Jack's handand gestures to a
	SALESMAN who looks like Jimmy Breslin.

					FRANK
			Hey! Do these come in black?

					SALESMAN
			I'll be with you in a minute,sir.

					FRANK
			I don't have a minute, pal. Yes or no?

					SALESMAN
				(glowering)Yeah. They come in black.

					FRANK
			Okay. Give me a pair of nines.Pronto.

	The salesman glances casually at Jack.

					SALESMAN
			Does he want a pair, too?


	35	INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DRESS DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

	As Jack and Frank return to Ladies Wear, Frank jettisons
	the shoe box and tissue paper.

					FRANK
			All right, we got your shoes.

	Just then, Jack and Frank notice Susie, standing in front of
	a mirror in the new dress.  The dress is open down to the
	small of her back. It’s a nice back.

					SUSIE
				(turning)
			What do you think?

					FRANK
			Uh... good.

					SUSIE
				(to Jack)
			Zip me up?

	As Jack takes the zipper, he gives Frank a “what did I tell
	you” glance.

					SUSIE
			Shoes?

					FRANK
			Right.

	Frank puts the shoes down and Susie steps in.

					SUSIE
			They’re tight.

					FRANK
			They’re nines.

					SUSIE
			Well they’re aspiring to be sevens.

					FRANK
			We can buy new ones tomorrow. Don’t worry.
			We’ll take these out of your share.

					SUSIE
			You’re a prince.


	36	OMITTED


	37	INT. HILTON KITCHEN - NIGHT

	As the trio rushes in, Frank hands Jack the Miracle Hair
	can, then turns to Susie.

					FRANK
			Okay, now remember, Jack and I go on first, I do
			the set-up, then introduce you. And you say...

					SUSIE
				(as Jack sprays Frank’s head)
			Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I can’t tell
			you how thrilled I am to be here.

	As Susie starts to inquire about Frank’s head, RAY, the
	assistant manager, leans into the kitchen.

					RAY
			Winding your watch these days, Frankie?

					FRANK
			We had a little emergency, Ray.

					RAY
				(seeing Susie)
			Who’s this, Minnie Pearl?

	All eyes turn to Susie’s dress, which still has the tags
	attached. Frank turns to the kitchen crew.

					FRANK
			Scissors! We need scissors here!

					RAY
				(exiting)
			I want seventy-five minutes, Frankie.

					FRANK
			Jesus... Let’s go, Jack. Fix your tie.

					WAITRESS
				(in passing)
			Good luck, guys. It’s a pretty ugly group. They’re
			sending back the cheeseballs.

	As Jack and Frank exit, Susie turns and sees a TINY
	MAN in an apron holding a meat cleaver.

					TINY MAN/CARLOS
			No scissors.


	38	INT . HILTON LOUNGE - NIGHT

	As the Bakers slide quickly behind their pianos, Frank
	bumps his head on the microphone.

					FRANK
			Good evening. Welcome to the Ambassador
			Lounge. My name’s Frank Baker and no, you’re
			not seeing double, it’s just my little brother Jack.

	The audience peers at Jack as if he were some curious life
	form they’ve never seen before. Jack and Frank exchange
	a wary glance.


	39	INT. HILTON KITCHEN - NIGHT

	Susie, sitting on a stool, fits something on her wrist while
	Carlos looks for a good angle to get at the tags. As the
	waitress passes by, Susie snares a drink.

					WAITRESS
			Hey!

					SUSIE
			Just a sip. To kill the butterflies.

					WAITRESS
			Okay. But no lipstick. Hey, what’s that on your
			wrist?

					SUSIE
			The next hour and a half of my life.

	Carlos brings the cleaver down with an ominous chop.


	40	INT. HILTON LOUNGE - NIGHT

	An audience of stone.

					FRANK
			This is nice. I feel an unspoken warmth here. We
			may not know each other’s names, but over the
			years we’ve shared something. A little music. A
			little laughter. Maybe even... a few tears. But I
			guess that’s what life’s about, huh?

	Dead silence. As Frank glances at Jack, Jack cuts a rueful
	grin.

					FRANK
			Well, anyway. This is a very special evening for
			Jack and I, because tonight we have with us a
			young lady who we think is very exciting...

	Smoking nervously offstage, Susie checks her wrists,
	which is fitted with tiny cards, each containing the lyrics
	to a song.

					FRANK
			As far as I’m concerned, she couldn’t have chosen
			 a better place to make her debut.
				(solemnly)
			Because, for us, there’s one place that’s always
			been a very special place. And that place is this
			place, the Ambassador Lounge. Ladies and
			gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to a
			very special lady with a very special way of
			singing a song, Miss Susie Diamond...!

	Absently crushing her cigarette into a container of cocktail
	napkins, Susie strides to the microphone, which,
	unfortunately, is not on.

					FRANK
				(whispering)
			The switch. Hit the switch.

					SUSIE
			Switch?
				(hitting it, voice booming)
			What fucking switch?

	Silence. Susie looks at the audience.

					SUSIE
			Pardon me.

	Jack and Frank glance at one another, then quickly plunge
	into the opening number.

					SUSIE
			I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be here.

	The feeling at this point, it would seem, is not mutual.
	Susie glances at her wrist, finds the song she wants, then
	grabs the microphone. It’s stuck. She gives it a yank,
	trying to free it, but pulls so hard that the rubber band
	holding the cards snaps.

	Mystified, Jack and Frank watch as the couple nearest the
	stage is showered in tiny cards. Then they notice Susie.

	She’s frozen. Stiff.

	Jack looks at Frank. Frank looks at Jack. Then...

					FRANK
				(singing)
			“I work at the Palace ballroom...”

	Every head in the lounge, Jack’s included, swivels
	to Frank.

					FRANK
			“But gee that place is cheap
			When I get back to my chilly old room
			I’m much to tired to sleep...”

	Jack looks at Frank like he’s insane. Frank nods earnestly
	to him as all heads swivel to Jack.

					JACK
				(reluctantly)
			“I’m one of those lady teachers
			A beautiful hostess you know
			One that the palace features
			At exactly a dime a throw...”

	Jack’s voice -- damning evidence that he and Frank are
	related -- brings Susie around. She takes the next lines
	right out of Frank’s mouth.

					SUSIE
			“Ten cents a dance
			That’s what they pay me
			Gosh how they weigh me down

			Ten cents a dance
			Pansies and rough guys
			Tough guys who tear my gown...”

	Compared to what preceded her, Susie sounds like
	Streisand. The audience -- bewildered, but oddly charmed
	-- applauds spontaneously. The effect on Susie is
	immediate. Hitting on all cylinders now, she grips the
	microphone like a trophy.

					SUSIE
			“Seven to midnight I hear drums
			Loudly the saxophone blows
			Trumpets are tearing my eardrums
			Customers crush my toes...

			“Sometimes I think I’ve found my hero
			But it’s queer romance
			All that you need is a ticket
			Come on big boy, ten cents a dance...”


	41	EXT. HILTON SERVICE ENTRANCE - NIGHT (LATER)

	The new trio comes out into the night.

					FRANK
			Fucking. She says fucking in front of an entire
			 room of people.

					SUSIE
			I apologised.

					FRANK
				(to Jack)
			Did you hear it.

					JACK
			Fucking.

					SUSIE
			Look, they were all on their third Mai Tai by the
			time I got out there anyway.

					FRANK
			FUCKING.

					SUSIE
			For Christ sake, I SAID it. I didn’t DO it. Besides,
			 I don’t think they were too offended, do you?

	Susie pulls out some crumpled bills. Frank grabs them.

					FRANK
			We are not a saloon act. We do not take tips from
			 dirty old men.

					SUSIE
				(innocent)
			I was gonna split with you guys.

					FRANK
			WE DO NOT TAKE TIPS. I’ll apply this to the
			cost of the dress.

	Frank puts the money away. Susie watches, steaming.

					SUSIE
			Then I want my name on the poster. And my
			picture! And these shoes are too goddamn tight!

	Susie hurls the shoes at Frank and stalks off barefoot.
	Jack, leaning against a wall, watches with amusement.

					JACK
			Nice girl.

	On Frank’s expression we hear the opening NOTES of
	“Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” and a MONTAGE
	begins.


	42	INT. VARIOUS LOUNGES - NIGHT - MONTAGE

	of Susie and boys performing the song in one lounge after
	another, playing to increasingly enthusiastic crowds, no
	empty tables now. As the song ends, we close on the  
	cardboard stand-up, newly done over with a picture of
	Susie and an accompanying exclamation: “SEE THE
	SENSATIONAL SUSIE DIAMOND!”. As the final
	CHORD sounds, the

	MONTAGE ENDS and we --


	43	INT. LLOYD’S OFFICE AT STARFIRE - NIGHT

	Where, once again Jack and Frank stand before the
	supercilious Lloyd.

					LLOYD
			I gotta hand it to you, guys. This two Jacks and
			Jill bit -- very sharp. Where’d you find her,
			anyway. The girl.

					FRANK
			Ah, you know these kids. They hang around. We
			figured we’d give her a break.

					LLOYD
			You’ve got a kind heart, Frankie. Well, give her
			a tip from me, will ya: The smaller the dress, the
			larger the crowd.
				(closing an envelope)
			Okay, guys, there you go. Don’t spend it all in
			one place.

	As Frank reaches for the envelope, Lloyd pulls it back.

					LLOYD
			Oh... maybe you want to count it, Jack.

					FRANK
			We trust you, Lloyd. You know that.

	Frank takes the envelope and starts to leave.

					LLOYD
			Say Frankie. Long as I’ve got you here... How’s
			next week look for you guys?

	Frank glances at Jack, giving it to him.

					JACK
			We’ll call you.

	As Lloyd’s face falls, we --


	44	EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF HOTEL - NIGHT (STARFIRE)

	An exultant Frank spins giddily out of the hotel.

					FRANK
			Did you see his face? Did you see it! “We’ll call
			you.”

	Jack calmly lights a cigarette, says nothing.

					FRANK
			The world is good, little brother... Don’t let
			anybody tell you different...

	As Frank dances away with the stand-up, Jack notices
	Susie standing at the corner, watching Frank too, a slight
	            smile on her face.

					SUSIE
			‘Night, Baker.


	45	EXT. CITY - DAY

	The city, gray and cold. Once again we hear a tentative
	PIANO: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh
	what fun it is to ride... Oh what fun it is to ride... Oh what
	fun...

	46	OMITTED

	47	EXT. VETERINARY CLINIC - ESTABLISH - DAY

	47A	INT. VETERINARY CLINIC WAITING ROOM - DAY

	Jack and Eddie wait with several other pet owners and
	their pets.

	48	INT. VETERINARY OFFICE - DAY

	Jack looks on as a VET examines Eddie’s mouth.

					DR. FINNEGAN
			Mmm... mmm hmm...
				(looking up)
			They gotta go.

					JACK
			Go? What do you mean?

					DR. FINNEGAN
			Five’s my guess. Maybe more. Won’t know till I
			get in there.

					JACK
			How will he eat?

					DR. FINNEGAN
			Cottage cheese to start. A banana now and then.

					JACK
			No bones?

					DR. FINNEGAN
				(patting Eddie)
			‘Fraid those days are over, my friend. Don’t
			worry, Mr. Baker. We’ll knock him out. He won’t
			feel a thing.

	As Dr. Finnegan exits, Jack looks at Eddie.

					JACK
			You shoulda brushed, pal.


	49	OMITTED


	50	INT. MOONLIGHT LOUNGE - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

	Jack, wearing a Santa hat, sits on a busing cart backstage,
	smoking. Frank and Susie, in the midst of a discussion,
	are also wearing Santa hats.

					SUSIE
			Look, all I’m telling you is what Bernadette over
			the Hilton said. The nights we play, she’s drawing
			three times the tips because the Chivas is jumping
			out of the bottle and the room’s pearls instead of
			polyester.

					FRANK
			I don’t understand. You’re saying we should...

					SUSIE
			Ask for a percentage of the bar.

					FRANK
			Mel Torme doesn’t get a percentage of the bar.

					SUSIE
			Maybe he never asked.

					HOUSE MANAGER
				(passing by)
			Five minutes, Baker.

					FRANK
				(to Jack)
			You hearing this?

					JACK
			How much you say she’s drawing?

					SUSIE
			Let’s put it this way. Two months ago she’s
			wearing a Timex. Now she’s got a Seiko strapped
			to her wrist. And it sure as hell wasn’t the Hilton
			that put it there.

					FRANK
			You’re not actually listening to this, are you?

	Jack rolls the tip of his cigarette in an ashtray.

					JACK
			Jerry Stein books the Hilton, right?

					FRANK
			For eight years.

					JACK
			Forget the bar. We’d look like amateurs. But why
			not bump him for an extra hundred up front.

					FRANK
			And if he tells us to take a walk?

					JACK
			We play the other side of the street.

					FRANK
			I don’t like it. It’s not the way we play the game.

	Susie watches Jack crush out his cigarette.

					JACK
			The game is changing.


	51 	INT. MOONLIGHT KITCHEN - NIGHT (AFTER THE SHOW)

	Becky, the pretty young kitchen worker, drops a bunch
	of bananas into a bag.

	BECKY
	The cottage cheese is at the bottom. You're sure this is
	what you want?

	JACK
			(exiting)
	Perfect. Merry Christmas, Becky.


	52	EXT. STREET OUTSIDE MOONLIGHT - NIGHT

	As Jack exits the hotel, he finds Susie standing on the
	sidewalk, shaking her purse. She sees the bag he’s
	carrying.

					SUSIE
			Ol’ Freckles in the kitchen slip you a stack of
			T-bones?

					JACK
			Not exactly.

	Susie fishes a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. Empty.

					SUSIE
			Damnit!

	Jack offers his pack.

					SUSIE
			No thanks. I never touch American cigarettes.
				(searching again)
			Three fifty a pack and I go through ‘em like
			toothpicks.

					JACK
			Huh?

	Susie hands Jack the empty cigarette box. It has an exotic
	design.

					SUSIE
			Paris Opals. Three fifty a pack. Know how much
			 that is a piece?

					JACK
			Seventeen cents.

					SUSIE
			Seventeen and a half. But I figure, If you’re gonna
			be sticking something in your mouth, might as well
			make it the best.

					JACK
			As Jack ponders this, Frank steps outside in a
			lumpy Santa suit.

					FRANK
			What do you think?

	Jack and Susie just stare.

					FRANK
			Thought I’d give the kids a thrill.
				(moving off)
			Don’t forget Monday. Bright and early. We’ve got
			a long drive.

	As Frank leaves, Susie goes back to her purse.

					SUSIE
			I don’t know. It’s hard figuring you and egghead
			as brothers. Seems like the hospital might’ve
			scrambled the babies somewhere.
				(finding an Opal)
			Ah, here’s a lost soul.

	Jack flicks out his lighter, snaps it. Susie inhales.

					SUSIE
			Mmm. Like kissing a rose. Well, au revoir.

					JACK
				(studying her)
			You feel like a cup of coffee?

					SUSIE
				(looking up)
			Now? On Christmas Eve?

	Jack nods.

					SUSIE
			Nah. Gives me the shakes. Anyway, I’d better get
			home. Rest the pipes.

					JACK
			You want me to walk you?

	Susie looks at Jack a little funny.

					SUSIE
			No. Thanks.

	She starts to move away, then stops and looks back.

					SUSIE
			Hey, listen, you’re not going soft on me, are you?
			I mean, you’re not gonna start dreaming about me
			and waking up all sweaty and looking at me like
			I’m some kinda princess when I burp.

					JACK
			Forget it.

					SUSIE
			I mean, that’d be too creepy with us working
			together and all.

					JACK
			Forget it.

					SUSIE
			Nothing personal...

	Jack holds up his hand. Susie just stands there.

					JACK
			Better hurry. You’re a nickel down on your
			cigarette.


	53	EXT. VET CLINIC - NIGHT

	A sign flickers: “Twenty-Four Hour Emergency Care.”


	54	INT. VET CLINIC - NIGHT

	Inside, a KID with deep-set eyes is bent over a magazine.
	Jack enters, still wearing his tux.

					KID
			Super Chief around the corner.

					JACK
			Huh?

					KID
			Bathroom. Super Chief around the corner.

					JACK
			No, I, uh, left a dog here this morning.

	The kid looks up, eyes Jack’s tux warily.

					KID
			Regular hours are eight to five.

					JACK
			Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just passing by.
			Thought I’d check in on him.

					KID
			You can check in on him tomorrow. Between
			eight and five.

					JACK
			Yeah, well, I thought maybe...

					KID
			Hey, pal. We’re not communicating, are we?

	The kid shakes his head with contempt.

					KID
			You want to know if he’s okay. Right?

					JACK
				(uncomfortable)
			Yeah.

					KID
			All right. Hold on.

					JACK
			The name’s Baker...

					KID
			Save it. What’s he look like?

					JACK
				(puzzled)
			Black. Lab.

					KID
			All right. They lay the dead ones out in the cold
			room. I’ll take a look.

	The Kid disappears. Jack stands frozen, watching the
	swinging door come to rest, looking like a man who,
	unexpectedly, finds a razor pressed to his throat.

	Suddenly the door swings back open.

					KID
			Nope. Just a couple poodles.

	As the kid hunches down again, Jack stares at him.
	Slowly, as Jack’s shadow falls across his magazine, the
	kid looks up. Jack looks like he could EAT a dead poodle.

					JACK
			I WANT MY DOG.

					KID
			Listen, pal. Get the hell...

	Jack, quick as knife, pinches the Kid’s nose between his
	thumb and forefinger.

					JACK
			No, YOU listen, you little fuck. You either get off
			your candy ass and get me my dog or I’m gonna
			roll that magazine and stick it straight down your
			throat.
				(leaning in close)
			Are we communicating now?


	55	OMITTED


	55A	INT. HALLWAY - JACK’S BUILDING - NIGHT

	Jack, with Eddie slung over one shoulder, mounts the
	stairs to his apartment.


	56	INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (SAME TIME)

	Nina is watching an old Christmas movie in the dark, the
	walls of the apartment dripping with black and white
	snow.

					JACK
				(entering)
			Hey. How about a little light in here.

	Hearing Jack, Nina turns and flips on a lamp.

					NINA
			Eddie!

					JACK
			Forget it. He’s still circling the airport.

	Jack plops Eddie onto the couch and heads for the kitchen.

					NINA
			I didn’t know he was coming home tonight.

					JACK
			Yeah, well, we sorta skipped the paperwork.
			Besides, it’s Christmas, right?

	Nina just nods, strokes Eddie. Jack studies her, then grabs
	a carton of eggnog and two glasses.

					JACK
			So, where’s Ma tonight?

	Nina just shrugs.

					JACK
			You play her the song.

					NINA
			Maybe tomorrow, she said.

	Nina looks up and sees the carton of eggnog.

					NINA
			From Hurley’s?

					JACK
			Eighty proof. Think you can handle it?

	Nina nods. As Jack fills the glasses, Nina takes the Santa
	hat from his pocket.

					NINA
			Jack.

					JACK
			Yeah.

					NINA
			Can I stay here tonight? Even if she comes home
			 alone?

					JACK
				(a beat)
			Okay.

	Jack settles next to Nina, staring out the window with her.

					NINA
			I think I’m getting drunk.

	Jack studies the lights twinkling in the darkness beyond the
	window.

					JACK
			That’s what you’re supposed to do on Christmas
			Eve.


	57 	INT./EXT. FRANK’S CAR - MORNING

	As Frank drives through the city, Susie pores over a slick
	hotel brochure.

					SUSIE
			Get this: “Each room is an event, an excursion
			into unprecedented luxury. Step outside and the
			adventure continues with your own private
			terrace...” Jesus, this place is like OZ.

	Frank glances at the brochure dispassionately. Susie
	looks up from the brochure.

					FRANK
			You don’t think it really looks like that, do you?

					SUSIE
			It’s right here. Pictures.

					FRANK
			Welcome to the road, Dorothy. You’re about to
			lose your virginity.


	58	EXT. FRONT OF JACK’S BUILDING - MORNING

	As Frank turns the corner into Jack’s street, Jack is sitting
	on a suitcase in front of his building... with Eddie.

					FRANK
			What the hell...?

	As Frank stops the car, he gets out, looks at Eddie.

					FRANK
			He’s just seeing you off, right?

	Jack picks up his suitcase, moves to the trunk.

					FRANK
			Jack. This is not possible. Jack...


	59 	INT./EXT. FRANK'S CAR - MORNING

	Jack and Eddie sit in the back. Susie hangs over the front
	seat, studying Eddie.

					SUSIE
			You try mashed potatoes? Or how 'bout yams? I
			love yams. Put me right to sleep.

					FRANK
			He doesn't need to sleep, he needs to eat.

					SUSIE
			I'm just throwing out suggestions.

					FRANK
			The dog just had oral surgery. Why don't you two
			give him a few days before you set him up at a
			smorgasboard.

	Frank, so agitated he's let the car wander, gets some
	vigorous HONKING from the next lane.

					FRANK
				(yelling out the window)
			That the only tune you know!

					JACK
			Hey. You're spooking Ed.

					FRANK
				(to himself)
			I'm spooking Ed.


	60	EXT. “KING’S” HOTEL - DUSK

	The hotel, done in a sort of King Arthur motif.


	61	INT./EXT. FRANK’S CAR - DUSK

	As Frank guides the car down a simulated cobblestone
	drive, Susie smiles.

					SUSIE
			Is it just me? Or is that one spectacular hotel?

					FRANK
				(unimpressed)
			Stunning.

	Two boys in jodhpurs descend upon the car immediately,
	opening the doors with exaggerated courtesy.

					SUSIE
			Why, THANK YOU.
				(to Jack, Frank)
			I’ll see you boys inside?

	As Susie strolls inside, she gives them a little wave with
	the brochure.


	62	INT. “KING’S MANOR” LOBBY - NIGHT

	Susie stands in the lobby, fixed on the brochure. We
	HOLD on the picture in her hands -- a lobby of rich
	velvets and handsome woods, gleaming under a
	magnificent vaulted ceiling -- then TILT UP SLOWLY
	to the real thing.

	A perfect match.

	As the doors behind her open, Susie turns to see Jack and
	Frank enter. They stop cold. Eddie yawns.

					SUSIE
			Come on, Toto. Tell the Tin Man and the
			Scarecrow to get the lead out. Dorothy’s got a
			five day engagement. Guaranteed.


	63	INT. FRANK AND JACK’S ROOM - NIGHT

	A magnificent room, with a pair of mammoth fruit baskets.

	Frank is lining family photographs on the dresser.

					FRANK
			I took the right side of the closet like always,
			okay?

					JACK
			Okay.

					FRANK
			Since I have the bed on the right and the drawers
			on the right, I figured it’s easier to remember.

					JACK
			Good idea.

					FRANK
			But if it doesn’t work out, let me know. I’m
			flexible.

					JACK
			Right.

	Just then, Susie enters from the other side of the suite,
	through the connecting bathroom. She has a piece of fruit
	in her hand.

					SUSIE
			Looks like Carmen Miranda had an accident in
			my room.
				(seeing their baskets)
			They must get a deal on these things. What do you
			make of this?

	Susie holds up the tiny furry fruit in her hand.

					FRANK
			Kiwi.

					SUSIE
			Jesus. It’s got more hair than you, Frank.
				(exiting)
			No peeking at tub time.


	63A 	EXT. HOTEL GROUNDS - INNER COURTYARD - NIGHT

	The inner courtyard is a maze of low hedges and small
	bridges, with a tiny stream running through it all. As
	Susie and Eddie inspect the menagerie of topiary animals
	along the way, Jack and Frank follow several yards
	behind.

					FRANK
			I'm telling you right now, I'm not gonna put up
			with it. Did you see what she ate at dinner?

	Jack, working his mouth with a toothpick, studies Susie's
	trim figure up ahead.

					FRANK
			Prime rib, confetti pasta, a festive cheese
			platter, my potato, and two desserts. Two.

					JACK
			You never eat your potato. Besides, we're not
			paying for it. What do you care?

					FRANK
			You think they'd don't keep track of these things?

	Frank spots Eddie, up ahead, sniffing a topiary animal.

					FRANK
			Oh, that's very attractive. Your dog just went to
			the bathroom on an elephant.

					JACK
			I think it's a unicorn.

					FRANK
			And she has no business talking about my head.

					JACK
			Frank. Relax, will ya. You know what happens
			when you get tense on the road.

	Frank gives Jack a look.

					JACK
			Howard Johnson? Four years ago.

					FRANK
			I do not sleepwalk.

					JACK
			Frank. I found you down in the lobby at 3 A.M.
			sitting by the Christmas tree in your pajamas.

					FRANK
			I went down for a pack of Chiclets, I saw the tree,
			I sat down for a few minutes. That is not
			sleepwalking.

					JACK
			Then how come you leave the bathroom light on?

	Frank, a little thrown, stops.

					FRANK
			I leave the light on in case either of us has to
			get up in the middle of the night.

					JACK
				(walking on)
			Mm hm.

					FRANK
			You want me to leave it off tonight? Fine, I'll
			leave it off...

	64	INT. JACK AND FRANK’S ROOM - NIGHT

	Pitch dark, except for a tiny sliver of light coming from
	the bathroom. Suddenly, the BLARE of BIG BAND
	MUSIC is heard coming from Susie’s side of the suite.

	A bedside lamp flicks on. Frank.

					FRANK
			What the hell is this?

	Jack squints awake. Eddie, in the chair by the window,
	looks up groggily.

					FRANK
			Do you hear this? Do you?

					JACK
			I do now.

	Frank, wearing boxers, gets out of bed.

					FRANK
			This is great. Before we play a single note, we’re
			gonna get thrown out.

	Jack sits up, takes a cigarette.

					JACK
			So she’s playing a little music.

					FRANK
			A little music! She’s got the Harry James
			Orchestra in there.

					JACK
			Ellington.

	Frank yells through the bathroom.

					FRANK
			Hey!

					JACK
			Frank.

					FRANK
			What?

					JACK
			You look a little tense.

					FRANK
			Of course I’m a little tense. It’s two o’clock in the
			morning. She’s gonna wake up everyone in the
			 hotel.

	Suddenly there’s a KNOCK on the door.

					FRANK
			See? See?

	As Frank opens the door, a hulking FIGURE is there.

					HULK
			Massage?

					SUSIE’S VOICE
			Down here, gorgeous.

	Susie is leaning out her door, “Perdido” is BLASTING
	into the hallway. She eyes Frank’s boxers.

					SUSIE
			Funny, I would have figured you for jockeys,
			Frank.


	65	OMITTED
	thru
	68


	68A 	EXT. "KING'S MANOR" HOTEL - MORNING


	69 	INT. FRANK AND JACK'S ROOM - MORNING (SAME TIME)

	Jack, rubbing a bad night's sleep out of his eyes, glances
	over at Frank's bed. Eddie is lying there, lost in deep
	slumber. A light SNORING is heard and Jack looks
	down between the beds.

	Frank. Blissfully asleep.


	70 	INT. "KING'S MANOR" DINING ROOM - DAY

	Darkness. Quickly, one chandelier after another burns on,
	illuminating a grand dining room. At the far end sit two
	dazzling Steinways.

					SUSIE
			Holy shit.

	The trio, standing by a panel of light switches, stares up
	at the chandeliers.

					SUSIE
			You know, it's the least dusted lighting fixture in
			the world. Fulla spiders. That's a fact.

	Jack and Frank don't quite know how to respond to this.

					SUSIE
			Guy I met on an escort gig sold 'em.

	As Jack and Frank nod, Susie looks at the stage.

					SUSIE
			Hey, turn 'em off.

	Susie dashes to the other end of the room, to the stage.

					SUSIE
			Come on. Kill 'em.

					FRANK
				(doing it)
			Do you mind telling us exactly what it is we're
			doing?

					SUSIE
				(out of the darkness)
			When I say go, you hit the lights. Okay? Okay?

					FRANK
				(sarcastically)
			Sure. Why not?

					SUSIE
			Okay... Go!

	As Frank hits the switches, the chandeliers trip on,
	sending a rolling wave of light towards the stage.

					SUSIE
			Ladies and gentlemen! The Sensational Susie
			Diamond!

	As the stage bursts to life, Susie is revealed, head thrown
	back, arms outstretched. Lena Horne couldn't do it better.

	Finally, Susie breaks her pose. Jack and Frank are
	staring at her.

					SUSIE
			Oh. And The Fabulous Baker Boys...

	As Jack and Frank look at each other, MUSIC begins, and
	we --


	CUT TO:


	71	INT. “KING’S MANOR” DINING ROOM

	A sea of elegantly-dressed couples dancing cheek to
	cheek on the dance floor, while others sit at candlelit
	tables, sipping wine. As the stage drifts INTO VIEW,
	Susie steps forwards and begins to croon, “The Look Of
	Love,” while Jack and Frank underscore her voice with
	lush phrasings. The atmosphere is dreamlike, hypnotic.

	Almost too good to be true.


	72	EXT. FRANK AND JACK’S TERRACE – NIGHT (LATER)

	The trio is on the terrace, surrounded by champagne
	buckets and caviar, radio purring SOFT MUSIC. Frank’s
	hair looks a little wild, as if someone has been rubbing
	his head.

					FRANK
				(euphoric; smashed)
			Why kid ourselves? It’s time to set new goals.
			Cruise ships... it’s ours if we want it.

					SUSIE
			Fulla rats. I guy I escorted gave me the lowdown.

					FRANK
				(undeterred)
			After that... Europe.

					SUSIE
			Europe?

					FRANK
			Music’s the international language.

					SUSIE
			I thought love was.

					FRANK
			Mark my words. From this night forward, our
			lives will never be the same.

					SUSIE
			Tell you what, Frank. You get more pop out of
			two glasses of champagne that anyone I know.

					FRANK
			This is a long way from Hula Girl Hideaway,
			huh, Jack? Remember? Banana trees in the lobby.

					JACK
			Takahama’s Tahitian.

					FRANK
			Takahama’s? We play there. I thought we just
			stopped for teriyaki.

					JACK
			Three nights.

					FRANK
				(to Susie)
			It’s amazing. He can remember every place we
			ever played. The day, the month, the year, how
			many shows -- you name it. When was
			Takahama’s, Jack?

					JACK
			August. ‘74.

					FRANK
			See? He’s brilliant. Really. Brilliant. Hey, Jack.

					JACK
			Hm.

					FRANK
			You’re brilliant.

					JACK
			Thanks.

					FRANK
				(to Susie)
			Same with music. You should’ve seen him when
			we were kids. No one could ride the keys like
			Jack. Miss Simpson would play something once
			and that was it -- he had it.

	Susie, intrigued by this, studies Jack.

					SUSIE
			Really?

					FRANK
			I never won a single blue ribbon until the day
			Jack showed up drunk at Spring Recital and
			played “Moon Over Cuba” instead of “Clare de
			Lune.”

	Susie glances at Jack.

					JACK
			The mood just hit me.

					FRANK
			Hey... “Moonglow.”

	Frank turns up the VOLUME of the radio and looks at
	Jack with a smile. Jack shoots him a warning glance.

					SUSIE
			“Moonglow”...?

					FRANK
			High school formal. I didn’t know how to dance.
			Jack did the boxstep with me for a week.

					JACK
			It wasn’t a week, it was an afternoon.

					SUSIE
			You two are closer than I thought.

					JACK
			He paid me.

					FRANK
			Worth every penny. It was my first big social
			with Donna. We fell in love on the dance floor.
			 I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful children...
			all because of my brother.

					JACK
			I think you’re overestimating the boxstep.

	Suddenly Frank slips into Susie’s arms and begins to
	dance with her, humming to the radio. Susie laughs, then
	goes with him. Jack takes a sip of champagne, watching.

					FRANK
			It was just like this on our honeymoon. The moon,
			the stars... Remember, Jack?

					JACK
			I wasn’t there.

					FRANK
			Oh, right. My first solo gig. God, she was
			gorgeous. Couldn’t believe she was mine. How
			come I got so lucky, Jack?

					JACK
			You’re a lucky guy.

					FRANK
			I am. I am a lucky guy. She could’ve married
			anyone, but she chose me...
				(to Susie)
			You know I’ve never kissed my wife on New
			Year’s Eve. Not once. Always onstage
			somewhere.

	This seems to make Frank a little melancholy and he
	almost stops dancing. Finally, he pulls away.

					FRANK
			I think I’m drunk. You two dance. I gonna go
			sit with the wallflowers.

	As Frank turns Susie toward Jack, they glance at each
	other awkwardly.

					SUSIE
			I don’t know. I’m not used to leading.

					FRANK
			Come on, Jack. Give the girl a glide.

					SUSIE
			I think maybe your little brother prefers to dance
			alone.

	Susie smiles slightly, offers Jack a cigarette.

					JACK
			No thanks. I never touch French cigarettes.

	Susie’s drunk enough that this tickles her a bit. Jack steps
	forward and takes her hand and they begin to move.

					SUSIE
			Your brother’s a pretty good dancer.

					FRANK
			Big heartbreaker. Never had to say a word.
			Couple turns on the dance floor and that was it.

					SUSIE
				(amused)
			REALLY.

					FRANK
				(tapping his knees)
			Got ‘em right in the knees. They practically had
			to carry the girls off the floor.

					SUSIE
			How thrilling.

					JACK
			Frank, why don’t you have another drink?

					FRANK
			I’m sleepy.

					JACK
			Why don’t you go to sleep then.

					FRANK
			All right.

	Frank grabs a bottle and disappears into the bedroom.

					SUSIE
			Looks like I lost my chaperone.

					JACK
			I think you’re safe.

	Jack presses in closer, moving smoothly to the music.

					SUSIE
			So, where do you keep all your blue ribbons,
			Baker?

					JACK
			Frank keeps them.

	Jack slides his hand  a little lower on Susie’s back.

					SUSIE
			Nice night, huh?

					JACK
			Hm-hm.

	Susie swallows, melting into the rhythm of Jack’s
	movements, into his body, drifting to the purr of the
	MUSIC, swirling under the stars. Suddenly, she dips in
	a little quivering motion and Jack catches her.

					JACK
			Careful.

	Susie looks a little shocked by her body’s betrayal. She
	separates from Jack and takes a step back.

					SUSIE
			I... I think I’ve had too much to drink. Champagne
			goes right to my... head.

					JACK
			Maybe we should call it a night.

	Susie nods. A smile flickers on Jack’s lips, then he turns
	away. Susie looks down.

	At her knees.


	73	INT. FRANK AND JACK’S ROOM - NEXT MORNING

	Seemingly empty, both beds unmade and unoccupied, a
	champagne bottle on the carpet, a tuxedo jacket hanging
	cockeyed on the closet floor, and Frank... fast asleep in
	the chair by the window.


	74	INT. “KING’S MANOR” LOBBY - MORNING (EARLY)

	As Susie steps out of the elevator, THEO, the clerk at the
	front desk, motions to her.

					THEO
			Oh, Miss Diamond. These just arrived for you.

	A dozen red roses are sitting on the desk.

					THEO
			Looks like you’ve got an admirer.

					SUSIE
			There’s no card.

					THEO
			The gentleman who left them said he would be in
			contact with you. I can have someone put them in
			water if you like.

					SUSIE
			Nah, that’s all right.

	Susie takes the roses and turns back to the elevators. As
	the doors open, Eddie trots out, heading off across the
	lobby. Susie watches him go by, then we...

								CUT TO:


	75	INT. “KING’S MANOR” CORRIDOR - EDDIE - MORNING

	A moment later, coming toward us down a corridor off the
	lobby. As he passes out of sight, Susie appears at the
	opposite end.

	SUSIE’S POV

	as Eddie disappears into the grand dining room. Curious,
	she follows. As she draws closer, the SOUND of a piano
	becomes clear. Peering inside, she finds Jack playing
	alone at one of the grands onstage.


	76	INT. “KING’S MANOR” DINING ROOM - MORNING

	In the vast emptiness of the room, the piano resonates
	powerfully and the music Jack makes is like nothing
	we’ve heard him play before. Fluid and unpredictable, it
	is played with the focused abandon of a jazz hand. Susie
	watches, transfixed.

	As he finishes, Jack notices Susie, but says nothing,
	instead pouring himself another glass of whiskey and
	starting to play again.

					SUSIE
			Working overtime?

					JACK
			I like the crowd.

	Susie smiles slightly.

					JACK
				(the roses)
			Win a pageant?

					SUSIE
			First runner-up. Story of my life.

	Jack doesn’t react, just keeps playing. Susie drops the
	flowers onto a table and walks over to the piano.

					SUSIE
			What’s this? You’re playing?

					JACK
				(shrugging)
			Just thinking out loud.

					SUSIE
			Nice.

					JACK
			Hm?

	Susie watches Jack’s hand glide deftly over the keys,
	then looks at his face. He is oblivious to all but the sounds
	he is making.

					SUSIE
				(quietly)
			Nice.


	77 	INT. "KING'S MANOR" LOBBY - MORNING

	Frank steps out of the elevator, looking like a man with
	the worst hangover in history.

					THEO
				(cheery)
			Good morning, Mr. Baker

					FRANK
				(grim)
			Hi, Theo.

					THEO
			Your wife's called again.

					FRANK
			Yeah, what is it now?

					THEO
				(reading a note)
			Little Frank refuses to ride his new bike unless the
			training wheels are removed, he's locked himself
			in the bathroom, and he has Cindy with him. He's
			says he'll only talk to you.
				(pointing)
			You can use the courtesy phone around the
			corner if you like.

	Frank nods wearily. He goes to the phone, begins to dial,
	then hears the SOUND of Jack's piano. Hanging up the
	phone, he wanders down to the dining room and looks
	inside.


	78	INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING

	Susie is leaning over the piano, smoking a cigarette, a
	shoe dangling from her toe as she watches Jack play.
	There is something intimate in her posture.

	There is something about it Frank doesn’t like.


	79	INT. “KING’S MANOR” BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

	As Jack smokes calmly, Frank paces tensely. He takes a
	few steps, glances at Jack, then resumes pacing, stops,
	looks at Jack again.

					FRANK
			You know I think it’s been five years since I saw
			you without a cigarette in your mouth. Five years.

	Jack, a cigarette dangling from his lip, just stares at Frank.

					FRANK
			The whole goddamn room upstairs smells like an
			ashtray. You know that, don’t you? The sheets, the
			carpet, the drapes, the towels, my tux, my shirt.
			Do you want to smell my shirt? Do you?

					JACK
			Maybe later.

					FRANK
			I’m not kidding about this. Do you have any idea
			what an insidious habit that is? I mean, how many
			cigarettes do you smoke in one day? It must be
			hundreds.

					JACK
			This is just a wild stab, but... is something
			bothering you, Frank?

					FRANK
			Leave her alone. I mean it.

	Jack looks at Frank, puzzled.

					FRANK
			Jack. This isn’t some hatcheck girl you can leave
			behind at the Sheraton. You got two shows a
			night with her.

	As Jack realises what Frank means, his eyes harden.

					JACK
			You don’t know what you’re talking about.

					FRANK
			I know trouble. And its name starts with an “S.”

					JACK
			Do me a favour, Frank. Relax.

					FRANK
			Do me a favour, little brother. Stick to cocktail
			waitresses.


	80	INT. “KING’S MANOR” DINING ROOM - NIGHT

	Moments later, onstage. Frank is addressing the audience.

					FRANK
			You know, meeting here each night as we do,
			sharing these few moments, I feel as if we’re
			becoming one big happy family.

	Jack, still burning from Frank’s comments backstage,
	eyes Frank coolly.

					FRANK
			The candlelight. The music. You. Everyone of you.
			Just being yourselves. People being people. What’s
			all this mean? I don’t know. Who’s to say? All I
			can tell you is, it makes it very special for us up
			here to have you out there. Right, Susie?

					SUSIE
			Right, Frank.

					FRANK
			Right, Jack?

					JACK
			Right. But if I could, I’d just like to add one thing...
			I love you, Frank.

					FRANK
				(stunned)
			What?

					JACK
			I love you. I just wanted to say it.

	Frank stares incredulously at Jack. Suddenly the audience
	breaks into APPLAUSE.

					FRANK
			Uh, well, thanks for sharing that with us, Jack.
				(moving quickly)
			So. Susie. How ‘bout it?

					SUSIE
			Huh?

					FRANK
			Got another song for us?

					SUSIE
			Oh. Yeah. I gotta bunch of them.

					FRANK
			Well then... shall we?

	As Frank stares over at Jack, Jack lights a cigarette and
	exhales a long plume of smoke.


	81	INT. FRANK AND JACK’S ROOM - NIGHT (AFTER THE SHOW)

	Eddie watches Jack and Frank undress in heavy silence.
	Susie, washing up, listens from the bathroom.

					FRANK
			You came in late on “Little Green Apples.”

					JACK
				(pointedly)
			I’m sorry?

					FRANK
			You heard me.

					JACK
			You came in early, Frank. You’ve been coming in
			early for the last decade.

					FRANK
			I never miss the beat.

	Jack lets out a derisive chuckle.

					FRANK
			I NEVER MISS THE BEAT.

					JACK
			That’s because you make it up as you go along.

	Frank stops undressing, stares at Jack.

					FRANK
			Take it back.

					JACK
			Take it back? What is this? Third grade?

					FRANK
			TAKE IT BACK.

	Jack frowns at his brother, then tosses him a kiwi.

					JACK
			Eat a kiwi, Frank.

	Frank flings the kiwi back at Jack. Jack ducks.

					JACK
			Hey!


	81A	INT. BATHROOM (SAME TIME)

	Susie peeks through the door. Jack is standing in his
	boxers, a pineapple in his hand, pointing at Frank.

					JACK
			Go to bed, Frank. Or this is gonna get ugly.

					SUSIE
				(to herself)
			It’s the fucking Newlywed Game.

	Shaking her head, Susie exits, flicking off the light.

					FRANK (O.S.)
			Hey!

					SUSIE
				(flicking it back on)
			Sorry.


	82	INT. JACK AND FRANK’S ROOM - MORNING

	We START on the kiwi, lying in a battered lump on the
	windowsill, PASS OVER a pack of cigarettes on the
	night table, then SETTLE on Frank... nestled under Jack’s
	shoulder, dead to the world.

	Jack blinks awake. Slowly his eyes slide over...


	83	INT. SUSIE’S ROOM - MORNING (SAME TIME)

	As Susie strokes her hair before the mirror, the phone
	RINGS.

					SUSIE
			Yeah?... No, Mr. Baker’s next door... Huh?...
			Urgent?... No, never mind, I’ll get him.

	Susie passes through the bathroom, opens the door.

					SUSIE
			Phone call, Frank. They say it’s... important.

	Susie stops, seeing Jack, smoking now, with Frank still
	slumbering under his shoulder. It’s a rather striking
	tableau.

					SUSIE
			Guess you guys made up, huh?


	84	OMITTED


	85	INT. FRANK AND JACK’S ROOM - A SUITCASE - DAY (LATER)

	Frank moves like a twister through the room, tossing his
	belongings in a suitcase.

					FRANK
			We made a deal. Man to man. Training wheels for
			a month, then we’d see.

					SUSIE
			He ran into a car?

					FRANK
			Mrs. Ramondino’s station wagon. It wasn’t moving.
			It was just parked on the street. He barely made it
			out of the driveway. All right, who’s got a pencil?

					SUSIE
			Pencil?

					FRANK
			I want you to take down the New Year’s show.
			Remember, at ten o’clock you start with “Thanks
			For The Memories,” then...

					JACK
			I know the show, Frank.

					FRANK
			I just think it’s best if...

					JACK
			Frank. Go.

	Frank gives in, grabs the suitcase, then pauses by the door.

					FRANK
			Guess I’m gonna get to kiss my wife on New
			Year’s after all.


	86	INT. JACK’S ROOM - DAY (SEVERAL HOURS LATER)

	Jack has lined a row of kiwis on the windowsill and is
	shooting rubber bands at them.


	87	INT. SUSIE’S ROOM - DAY (SAME TIME)

	Susie is smoking a cigarette, staring out the window. She
	glances at the bathroom once, twice, then takes the
	newspaper and passes through.


	88	INT. JACK’S ROOM - DAY (SAME TIME)

					SUSIE
			Any word from Egghead?

	Jack shakes his head. Susie nods, offers the paper.

					SUSIE
			I’m through with it.

					JACK
			Oh. Thanks.

					SUSIE
			Left the crossword.

	This doesn’t seem to excite Jack, but he nods anyway.

					SUSIE
			Well. Happy reading.


	89	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	Susie retreats, frowns to herself, then notices Jack’s
	shaving cup. Curious, she takes the brush, runs the
	bristles over her cheek, then spins the cap off a bottle of
	aftershave, sniffs.


	90	INT. JACK’S ROOM - DAY

	Jack, up and pacing, pauses as he passes the bathroom,
	listening to the strange STIRRINGS inside.


	91	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	Susie inspects a few more items, then exits. Seconds
	later, the door opens tentatively and Jack enters. He eyes
	his things, adjusts the shaving brush. He glances as the riot
	of powders and creams crowding Susie’s sink. Picking up
	a tiny perfume vial, he gives it a spray: it packs quite a
	wallop. Startled, he waves his hand to defuse the odor.


	92	INT. SUSIE’S ROOM - DAY

	Outside, Susie pauses on her cigarette, sniffs the air.


	93	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	Jack replaces the bottle, accidentally causing a stir among
	a few other others, then exits. As Susie re-enters, a tiny
	nail polish bottle wobbles upright. She studies the bottle,
	sniffs again, then pokes her head into Jack’s room.


	94	INT. JACK’S ROOM - DAY

					SUSIE
			Anything yet?

					JACK
			Not a peep.

					SUSIE
			Well. I think I’ll take a bath.

	Jack nods. Susie nods.


	95	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	Susie pulls the door closed, frowns again, then turns on the
	bath. Taking a bottle of Mr. Bubble, she sits on the toilet
	and sprays pink lazy eights into the tub.


	96 	INT. JACK'S ROOM - DAY

	Jack stops, pivots and sends a kiwi towards the
	waste-basket. SWISH.


	97 	INT. SUSIE'S ROOM - DAY

	Susie goes to the bedroom, strips, slips into a robe.
	There are cigarettes burning in every corner of the room.
	Oblivious, she lights another.


	98 	INT. JACK'S ROOM - DAY

	Eddie ducks as a plum sails over his head. The carpet
	around the waste-basket is littered with fruit. Jack grabs
	a coconut, eyes the basket, then notices a crescent forming
	on the carpet outside the bathroom. He raps on the door,
	gets nothing.


	99 	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	Jack enters just as Mr. Bubble glides over the lip of the
	tub.


	100 	INT. SUSIE'S ROOM - DAY


	Susie, staring at the ocean like Garbo, hears the BOTTLE
	tumble, then sees the water. She dashes in.


	101 	INT. BATHROOM - DAY

	As the door pounds Jack, Susie does a little slip-slide-spin
	on the sudsy floor and tumbles into Jack's arms.

	Not exactly "From Here To Eternity", but the room IS
	pretty steamy and Susie's robe has slipped off one very
	nice shoulder. Jack looks at the shoulder, then into Susie's
	eyes. Susie looks back. Swallows.

					SUSIE
			Thanks.

	They stand like this, sort of like a statue, then the phone
	RINGS. They disengage. Jack goes to the phone.

					JACK
			Yeah... Oh, hi, Frank.
				(to Susie)
			It's Frank.

	Susie nods, pulls her robe closed.


					JACK
			So. How's little Frank?... Yeah?... Well, that's a
			relief, huh?... No, I understand, call me when you
			have more time... Huh? Oh, nothing. We're taking
			a bath. Well, Susie's taking a bath, I'm doing the
			crossword. Huh?... What's that?... Newt?... Yeah,
			I know what it is. Turns up a lot, huh? okay, I'll
			remember. Thanks. 'Bye...


	Jack hangs up the phone, looks at Susie.

					JACK
			Kid's in the pink.

	Susie nods, tightens her robe again.

					SUSIE
			Well. Thanks for the catch. Coulda got quite a
			bump.

					JACK
			It was nothing.

	Susie nods, pulls the door closed.


	102	 INT. "KING'S MANOR" BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

	Susie, wearing a very sexy black silk dress, joins Jack.
	She hands him a piece of paper.

					SUSIE
			Theo at the front desk just dropped this on me.

					JACK
				(reading aloud)
			"Ladies and gentlemen, due to a family emergency,
			my dear brother is unable to share this most
			special of evenings with us..."

					SUSIE
			Frank must've dictated it from the hospital. There's
			patter for all the songs, too.

	As Jack stares at the paper, Susie inspects her hair in the
	reflection of a silver tea tray.

					SUSIE
			Gotta give it to ol' Egghead. Never gives the kite
			too much string.

	As Susie turns back to Jack, he crumples the paper.

					JACK
			So what do you want to open with tonight?


	103	INT. “KING’S MANOR” DINING ROOM - NIGHT

	A banner stretched between two chandeliers, proclaims
	“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” As the CAMERA DESCENDS,
	Jack can be heard picking out a familiar TUNE, but
	showering it in blue notes, drawing it out, giving it
	smoke.

	Susie’s face drifts up INTO FRAME, her eyes closed,
	but the CAMERA CONTINUES to drop, moving like
	syrup down her body, over the silk that clings to her hips
	and thighs, down her legs to a pair of wicked
	arch-breaking heels.

	She’s standing on Jack’s Steinway.

					SUSIE
				(cooing)
			“Another bride,
			Another June,
			Another sunny honeymoon
			Another season
			Another reason
			To make whoopie...”

	Caught somewhere between Ray Charles and Marilyn
	Monroe, Susie’s voice slides silkily from a whisper to a
	growl, her fingers running like sand over her body.

					SUSIE
			“A lot of shoes,
			A lot of rice,
			The groom is nervous,
			He answers twice,
			It’s really killin’,
			The boy’s so willin’,
			To make whoopie...”

	As Jack knocks hell out of the bridge, Susie melts onto
	the piano like a kitten, stretching out languorously on her
	back. On the dance floor, men in tuxedos sneak guilty
	glances while their wives just stare, mouths agape. In less
	that a minute, Susie’s managed to turn a dignified resort
	hotel into a sizzling roadhouse.

					SUSIE
			“Picture a little lovenest
			Down where the roses cling
			Picture that same sweet lovenest
			See what a year can bring...
				(toying with Jack’s chin)
			I tell you the boy’s washing dishes,
			baby clothes
			He’s so ambitious,
			Ooooh, I tell you he sews”

	Susie runs her fingers through Jack’s hair and slides
	oh-so-slowly off the piano, slinking toward the audience,
	and suddenly it’s apparent: she’s winning them over.

					SUSIE
			It’s really killin’
			The boy’s so willin’
			To make whoopee...”


	104	INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT (HOURS LATER)

	Now a mass of swarming jubilation. Suddenly, the
	lights begin to dim.

					SUSIE
			All right, boys and girls. Find a friend. This is it.
			Ten. Nine...

	Gradually the entire room joins the chant.

					SUSIE/EVERYONE
			... Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. THREE. TWO!
			ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

	A blizzard of confetti fills the air as people scramble for
	that certain someone to kiss in the new year. In this
	moment, Jack and Susie find themselves oddly distanced
	from the happiness below them.

	Susie glances at Jack, then finally goes to him. As their
	lips touch, they kiss lightly, then pull away awkwardly.
	As Susie turns away, Jack sounds the first chord of
	“Auld Lang Syne” and the room rises as one voice.

					SUSIE/EVERYONE
			“Should old acquaintance be forgot...”


	105 	INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT (HOURS LATER)

	Dark and lonely now, the tables and floors covered with
	confetti, like virgin snow. Jack sits on a table, looking
	out at the moonlit ocean. Susie comes up behind him,
	carrying a half-empty bottle of champagne.

					SUSIE
			So. Make any resolutions?

	Jack shakes his head. Susie sits down on the table next
	to him, their arms almost touching.

					JACK
			You?

					SUSIE
			Nah. I figure that stuff’s all a bunch of crap
			anyway. You do what you do, right?

					JACK
			Right.

	Susie takes a drink, looks over at the empty stage.

					SUSIE
			Boy, ol’ Egghead would’ve blown a gasket if
			he’d seen us tonight, wouldn’t he?

	Jack just takes a drag on his cigarette, says nothing.

					SUSIE
			You’re good, aren’t you?

	As Jack looks up, Susie’s eyes shift, staring straight
	into his.

					JACK
			I can carry a tune.

					SUSIE
			Better than that.

	Jack just looks out the window again, takes another drag
	on his cigarette. Susie studies his face, then pushes off the
	table, walks over to the window.

					SUSIE
			You know, I saw you guys once. You and Frank.
			At the Roosevelt.

					JACK
			Must’ve been a cheap date.

					SUSIE
			Soap convention.

	Jack glances over at Susie.

					JACK
			Soap?

					SUSIE
			Yeah, they got a convention for everything. This
			guy was some big roller in suds. At least he was
			clean. Some of the guys I met through the service,
			you wouldn’t believe. The older ones, they were
			okay. Nice. Polite. Pulled the chair out for you.
			But the younger ones...

	Jack watches as Susie takes another hit off the bottle.

					SUSIE
			It wasn’t so bad, though. I’d get a nice piece of
			steak, flowers, sometimes even a gift. Usually
			whatever the guy was into. Got a set of socket
			wrenches once. Believe it? The guy looked like
			he’d just given me four dozen roses.

	Susie smiles to herself, then her face changes, becomes
	almost wistful.

					SUSIE
			But I stayed at the Hartford once. You should see
			the rooms. All satin and velvet. And the bed. Royal
			blue, trimmed in lace clean as snow. Hard to
			believe sleeping in a room like that don’t change
			your life. But it don’t. The bed may be magic, but
			the mirror isn’t. You wake up the same old Susie.
				(pause)
			I didn’t always, you know. If I liked the guy...

	Susie glances at Jack, uncomfortable.

					JACK
			I never liked the Hartford much myself.

	Susie’s eyes lock into Jack’s, then she turns a little and
	starts to roll her neck.

					SUSIE
			My neck is so tight. Usually singing relaxes me,
			but I don’t know, tonight...

	Jack watches her a moment, then stands up and sweeps
	the hair off her shoulder, placing his hands on her neck,
	massaging the muscles softly. She swallows.

					SUSIE
			Thanks.

	Jack hesitates, then unhooks the catch, letting the panels
	divide a bit.

					SUSIE
			Thanks.

	As Jack’s fingers work down to Susie’s shoulders, the
	dress begins to divide slowly, the fabric pulling silently
	apart. Susie turns her head a little just as Jack’s fingers
	slip under the silk, skimming down her sides, just below
	her breasts. He leans in and kisses her neck.

					SUSIE
			Oh shit...

	106	OMITTED


	107 	INT. "KING'S MANOR" CORRIDOR - MORNING

	As the service elevator opens, two maid exit left, then
	Eddie trots out and turns right.

	We TRACK him for a moment, then he stops: by a room
	service tray sitting outside a door. He sniffs finds nothing
	to his taste, then moves down the hall to the next tray.

	Finally, after several stops, Eddie returns to the elevator
	and waits... three T-bones in his mouth.


	108	INT. SUSIE’S ROOM - MORNING

	Jack, quiet as a mouse, slips out of bed, gathers his
	clothes, and in approximately ten seconds, is dressed.

					SUSIE
			You’d make a helluva fireman, you know that?

	Jack stops, looks over his shoulder.

					SUSIE
			You practice that at home with a stopwatch?

					JACK
			Didn’t want to wake you. Early riser.

	Susie glances out the window. It’s gotta be about noon.

					SUSIE
			Yeah. Listen. I didn’t expect you to rush out and
			buy me a corsage this morning, you know. Your
			school ring’s safe.

	Jack nods, slips into the bathroom.


	109 	INT. BATHROOM - DAY (SAME TIME)

	As he closes the door, Jack looks in the mirror.

					JACK
			Shit.


	110	INT. SUSIE’S ROOM - DAY (SAME TIME)

	Susie stares at the bathroom door, then notices Jack’s tie
	slung over the bedpost.

					SUSIE
			Shit.


	111 INT. "KING'S MANOR" LOBBY - DAY

	As Jack stands at the front desk, members of the hotel
	staff pose for photographs with Eddie.

					JACK
			I don't get it.

					THEO
			What's that, Mr Baker?

					JACK
			Ed. He barely touched a thing while he was here,
			but I don't know... I could swear he's GAINED
			weight.

	Theo points his finger to a line on the checkout form.

					THEO
				(as Jack signs)
			Well, we're sure going to miss him. All of you.
			It's too bad your brother missed all the excitement
			last night.

	Jack glances up.

					JACK
			Yeah. Too bad. You seen Miss Diamond?

					THEO
			I believe that's her talking to the gentleman in the
			blue suit.

	Across the lobby, Jack sees Susie talking to a man in the
	far corner.

					THEO
			Have a nice day, Mr. Baker.

					JACK
			Yeah, you too...


	112	EXT. THE CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

	Home.


	113	INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

	As Jack and Eddie enter, Jack sets his suitcase on the
	floor and flicks on a lamp. A string, hanging like a smile
	from one side of the bedroom door frame to the other,
	droops with paper letters: “WELCOME HOME.”

	In the kitchen, Jack opens the refrigerator. A container
	of cottage cheese. Two desperate bananas. One beer.
	Opting for the beer, he goes to the piano by the window,
	sits down.

	He taps out a skeleton phrase, teases it, then, like the
	morning Susie found him in the dining room, begins to
	expand on the idea, filling the room with music.


	113A	EXT. DINER - DAY

	In the front window, the usual photos of celebrity patrons,
	including one of Susie placed between those of Jack and
	Frank.


	114	INT. DINER - DAY (SAME)

	Susie and the brothers sit at a table strews with empty
	coffee cups and half-eaten food. Frank has several slips
	of paper before him with names and dates.

					FRANK
			That takes care of the week of the fifth. After that,
			we got the Avedon downtown or the Plaza. Four
			day turns. What do you think, Jack?

	Jack is staring out the window. Bored.

					JACK
			You with me, Jack?

					SUSIE
			The Avedon’s a dump. No cover. No minimum.
			And they water their drinks. It’s strictly for the
			Fuller Brush crowd.

	Susie, as she says this, pours sugar into her Coke.

					FRANK
				(watching)
			It’s not that bad. Besides, Blackie Carson books
			the Avedon. He’s always been good to us.

					JACK
				(drily)
	He’s hasn’t been that good to us.

					FRANK
			All right, we’ll take the Plaza. After that, we’re
			locked into the Capri for five days, then we got
			our choice...

					SUSIE
			The Capri? Oh Christ, not the goddamn Luau
			Lounge again.

					FRANK
			What’s the matter with the Luau Lounge? They
			don’t salt their peanuts?

					SUSIE
			Singing “Feelings” knee deep in paper orchids
			and plastic tiki lamps isn’t exactly my idea of a
			fun evening.

					FRANK
			Fun? Who promised you fun? We get paid,
			remember?

					SUSIE
			I’m just saying maybe we should vote on it. Or
			maybe... we should ask Jack what he thinks.

					FRANK
			I don’t have to ask Jack what he thinks. I know
			what he thinks.

	Jack, hearing this. shifts his eyes coolly to Frank.

					FRANK
			It’s five days. The money’s green. We’re there.

	Susie, looking tense, watches Frank go back to his slips.
	Jack taps an unlit cigarette on the table.

					FRANK
			And by the way, speaking of  “Feelings,” you
			might think about brushing up on the lyrics. The
			other night, at the resort, you sang the first verse
			twice.

					SUSIE
			Really? That must explain the gasp I heard from
			the audience.

					FRANK
			Okay. Let’s hear it. We’ve trashed the Avedon and
			the Luau Lounge. What’s our beef with
			“Feelings”?

					SUSIE
			Nothing.

	Frank nods, starts to go back to the slips.

					SUSIE
			EXCEPT... who cares? I mean, does anybody
			really need to hear “Feelings” again in their
			lifetime? It’s like parsley...
				(taking a sprig from her plate)
			Take it away and no one would know the
			difference.

					FRANK
			“Feelings” is not parsley.

					SUSIE
			To you, “Feelings” may be goddamn filet mignon.
			To me, it’s parsley. Less that parsley.

	Jack, mildly amused, settles against the window to listen.

					FRANK
			Look, “Feelings,” despite what you may think of
			it, has always been one of the bright moments in
			the show and a consistent crowd pleaser.
			Consequently, we have an obligation to play it. If
			we didn’t the audience would be disappointed.

					SUSIE
			Yeah, well, they weren’t exactly crying their eyes
			out on New Year’s.

	Frank stops shuffling the slips, looks up slowly.

					FRANK
			You passed over “Feelings”?

					SUSIE
			Yeah. And for your information, “Bali Hai” went
			out with the bathwater too.

	Frank looks from Susie to Jack.

					FRANK
			Well, I see. The cat goes away for a night and the
			mice take over the orchestra.

					SUSIE
			Hey. I ain’t no mouse.

					FRANK
			That’s right. You’re parsley.

	Big silence.

					JACK
			I think you better calm down, Frank.

					FRANK
			I think you better make sure it’s your head that’s
			doing the thinking these days, little brother.

	Susie stands up, takes her coat.

					SUSIE
			This food’s been sitting here too long. It’s starting
			to make me feel SICK.

	Susie turns and slams out the door.

					JACK
			Why don’t you loosen the leash.

					FRANK
			Let’s not let a whiff of perfume blow off fifteen
			years. Be reasonable, Jack.

					JACK
			I play three hundred nights a years with you,
			Frank. How much more reasonable you expect me
			to be?


	115 	EXT. JACK’S BUILDING - EARLY EVENING

	Susie paces under a street lamp, working on a Paris Opal.
	She takes a glance up at Jack’s window, then drops her
	cigarette to the sidewalk. There are half-a-dozen others
	already there. Deciding, she enters the building.


	115A	INT. JACK’S BUILDING - STAIRWELL

	Susie arrives at Jack’s door, knocks. A moment passes,
	then it swings open.

	Nina.


	116	OMITTED
	&
	117


	118	EXT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT (LATER)

	The murmur of MUSIC can be heard.


	119	INT. BASEMENT - JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT

	Jack sits at the bar, sipping a whiskey gingerly, watching
	a trio perform on the dimly-lit stage. A BLACK MAN in
	a suit steps up next to him.

					JACK
				(watching the trio)
			How you doing, Henry?

					HENRY
			Can’t complain. What do you think of the kid?

	Jack glances at the baby-faced pianist onstage.

					JACK
			When’s his mother pick him up?

					HENRY
			He’s been playing here a year. You oughta come
			around more often, Jack.

					JACK
			He’s good. That Tyler on drums?

					HENRY
				(nodding)
			Some old man, huh? Guy’d fall down a fucking
			staircase and keep the beat.

	As the bartender passes, Henry motions to Jack’s drink.

					HENRY
			On the house, Tony.
				(to Jack)
			So how about Jack Baker? Still stompin’ at the
			Sheraton?

					JACK
			Keeps me out of trouble.

					HENRY
			So what’re you doing here?

	Jack crushes out his cigarette.

					JACK
			Lookin’ for trouble.


	120	EXT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT (LATER)

	Susie arrives, glances around. She hesitates, then
	pushes through the doors to the club.


	121	INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT (SAME TIME)

	As Susie descends the cement stairs inside, a man with a
	saxophone rushes past her, heading for the street. Patrons
	linger in the corridor, drinks in hand, talking animatedly,
	laughing.

	The main room is even darker, full of shadows smoking
	cigarettes. Susie looks for Jack, doesn’t see him, then
	settles by the bar.

					SUSIE
			Double vodka.

	Across the room, the men’s room opens and two black
	men exit, but no one else. Scanning the tables again, Susie
	sees only the same unfamiliar shadows.

	Then she hears the PIANO.

	Turning slowly, Susie discovers Jack, hunched over the
	piano onstage, playing with the trio. At first, he toys with
	the melody, finding his way, then seduces the song away
	from itself entirely. Lost in concentration, he plays more
	expressively, ending with a passionate cascade of notes
	as he reconstructs the melody. As the audience
	APPLAUDS, Susie settles back into the shadows of the
	bar. Hidden, studies Jack.

	His face is calm. Peaceful.


	122	INT. STAIRWELL - JACK’S BUILDING - NIGHT (LATER)

	Jacks trots up the stairs to his apartment, then stops
	suddenly. Susie is sitting on the landing, one shoe off,
	massaging her bare foot.

					SUSIE
			Oh. Hi.
				(uncomfortable)
			I was in the neighbourhood. Thought I’d drop by.

	Jack nods, eyes her foot.

					SUSIE
				(shrugs)
			Big feet.

	Jack says nothing, starts up the stairs.

					SUSIE
			Look, don’t get nervous or anything. I just came
			over to...

	Susie’s voice falters as Jack hooks her stray shoe on his
	finger and continues toward his apartment.

					SUSIE
			...talk.

	Jack doesn’t want to talk.


	123	EXT. JACK’S BUILDING - MORNING

	As the sun comes up.


	124 	INT. JACK’S BEDROOM - MORNING

	Naked, Susie slips quietly out of bed, gathers her clothes,
	dresses. Twelve seconds, tops. Only one problem: only
	one shoe.

	Limping to the bathroom, Susie catches herself in the
	mirror, grimaces, then hobbles to the front room...

			...Just as Nina pushes open the window and enters from
	the fire escape. Both stop cold, stare at each other.

					NINA
			I guess you found him, huh?

					SUSIE
			Yeah...

					NINA
			I came to walk Eddie.

	Susie nods. Nina eyes Susie’s footwear situation, then
	slips off the windowsill and goes to the kitchen, where
	Eddie’s leash is hanging on the wall.

					NINA
			You don’t have a toothbrush with you, do you?

	Susie, puzzled, shakes her head. Nina nods, then points
	behind Susie. There, on the bookshelf, is her shoe.

					SUSIE
			Oh... thanks.

	As Nina exits with Eddie, Susie stares at the door, a little
	confused, then goes to retrieve her shoe. There, sitting on
	the shelf, is an old photograph of Jack and Frank. Wearing
	boyish grins and bad suits, they hold a bottle of liquor out
	for the camera.

					JACK
			Terry’s Tap Room.

	Susie jumps, surprised to see Jack, dressed now. He
	smiles, nods to the photo.

					JACK
			First gig we ever played. The guy that ran the
			place gave us the bottle but wouldn’t open in.

					SUSIE
			How come?

					JACK
				(charming)
			Told us to save it. Said someday it would soften
			the edges of the bad times and make the good ones
			seem even better. The best idea would’ve been to
			drink it before we played Terry’s Taproom.

	Jack watches Susie study the photo.

					JACK
			Coffee?

					SUSIE
			Yeah... no. I mean...

					JACK
			Look, if you want to leave...

					SUSIE
			No... yeah. That is...

					JACK
			I’ll see you tonight at the Hilton. Okay?

	Susie nods, but doesn’t move.

					SUSIE
			Listen. The reason I came by last night... I’m
			thinking about leaving. The act.

	Susie looks at Jack, but he says nothing.

					SUSIE
			It’s a... I met this guy over New Year’s, at the
			hotel. He liked my voice. And, well, it’s... He
			thinks I can sell cat food just singing about it.
			Crazy, huh?

	Susie tries to laugh. Jack nods.

					SUSIE
			I mean, it’s nothing big. Mostly local stuff
			probably.

					JACK
			Take it.

					SUSIE
			Well, I haven’t decided. I’m just thinking about it...

					JACK
			Take it.

	Susie stops, studies Jack’s face.

					SUSIE
			So how long you been taking care of the kid
			upstairs?

					JACK
			I don’t take care of her.

					SUSIE
			Doesn’t look that way to me...

					JACK
			What’s the difference?

					SUSIE
				(beat)
			Yeah, well, anyway, like I said, I know Frank’s
			got us booked through March.

					JACK
			Don’t worry about Frank.

					SUSIE
			What about you?

					JACK
			What’s that got to do with anything?

					SUSIE
			Well... nothing. I just mean, I don’t want to leave
			you guys with an empty mike...

					JACK
			Hey. There’s always another girl.

	Susie looks at Jack. His face is unflinching.

					SUSIE
				(grabbing her coat)
			Right. Well... Thanks for the advice. I’ll think it
			over.

	As the door slams behind Susie, Jack’s face changes,
	resolve giving in to ambivalence.


	125	INT. HILTON OLD AMERICA LOUNGE - NIGHT (AS IN SC. 38)

	As Susie croons, waiters pass by.

					SUSIE
			“Feelings... Wo wo wo... Feelings...”


	126 	INT. HILTON BACKSTAGE - NIGHT (AFTER THE SHOW)

	Susie whips on her coat tensely.

					SUSIE
			I can't sing it anymore.

					FRANK
			What?

					SUSIE
			That song. I can't sing it anymore. I'm gonna get
			sick.


	127 	INT. HILTON KITCHEN - NIGHT (SAME TIME)

	Frank follows Susie into the kitchen, where a KID in an
	apron is chopping onions.

					FRANK
				(patiently)
			Look, Susie. We talked about this. I told you why
			we...

					SUSIE
				(stopping)
			I'm going to throw up Frank. Do you understand?
			I'm going to vomit right into somebody's Pina
			Colada.

					FRANK
			It's just a song. It's a couple times a night. Ten
			minutes of your life. That's all.

					SUSIE
			And ten minutes tomorrow night, and ten minutes
			the next night, and the next night. Frank, I can't
			sing that fucking song anymore!

	As Susie storms out of the kitchen, the Kid in the apron
	looks over.

					APRON
			Volare?


	128	EXT. STREET OUTSIDE HILTON - NIGHT

	Susie comes up alongside Jack.

					SUSIE
			I’m quitting.

					JACK
			Congratulations.

					SUSIE
			As of now.

					JACK
			Well, if you ever need a recommendation, let me
			know.

					SUSIE
			Jesus, you’re cold, you know that? You’re like a
			fucking razor blade.

					JACK
			Careful. You’ll have me thinking you’re going soft
			on me.

	Susie stops, looks at him in amazement.

					SUSIE
			You don’t give a fuck, do you? About anything.

	Jack stops, turns.

					JACK
			Hey. What do you want from me? You want me to
			tell you to stay? Is that what you’re looking for?
			You want me to get down on my knees and beg
			you to deliver the Baker Boys from doom? Well,
			forget it. We survived for fifteen years before you
			strutted onto the scene, sweetheart. FIFTEEN
			YEARS. Two seconds and you’re bawling like a
			two year old. You shouldn’t be wearing a dress.
			You should be wearing a diaper.

					SUSIE
			Jesus. You and Egghead ARE brothers, aren’t you?

					JACK
			Damn straight. And let me tell you something.
			Over the years they’ve dropped like flies in every
			fucking hotel in this city, but we’re still here.
			We’ve never held a day job in our lives. He may
			be an easy target, but add it up and you’ll see;
			Frank’s done fine.

					SUSIE
			Yeah. Frank’s done great. He’s got the wife, the
			kids, the little house in the suburbs. Meanwhile his
			brother’s sitting in a shitty apartment with a sick
			dog, Little Orphan Annie, and a chip on his
			shoulder as big as a Cadillac.

					JACK
				(tensely)
			Listen to me, princess. We fucked twice. That’s it.
			Once the sweat dries, you still don’t know shit
			about me. Got it?

					SUSIE
			I know one thing. While Frank Baker was home
			putting the kids to sleep last night, little brother
			Jack was out dusting off his dreams for a few
			minutes.

	Jack just stares at her.

					SUSIE
			I was there. I saw it in your face. You’re full of
			shit. You’re a fake. Every time you walk into
			some shitty daiquiri hut, you’re selling yourself
			on the cheap. I know all about that. I used to find
			myself at the end of the night with some malt ball
			mogul, then wake up in the morning and tell
			myself it didn’t matter. You kid yourself that you
			got this empty place inside where you can put it
			all. But do it long enough and all you are is
			empty.

					JACK
			I didn’t know whores were so philosophical.

					SUSIE
			At least my brother’s not my pimp.

	Susie turns to walk away, then stops and looks back.

					SUSIE
			You know I had you pegged for a loser the first
			time I saw you. But I was wrong. You’re worse.
			You’re a coward.

	As Susie turns away, we HOLD on Jack.


	129	 INT. HILTON LOUNGE - THE AMBASSADOR LOUNGE - NIGHT

	The site of Jack and Frank's first night with Susie. As
	busboys move in and out, Jack and Frank stand with Ray,
	the assistant manager.

					RAY
			Sick? How sick?

					FRANK
			The flu.

					RAY
			So she's got a few sniffles.

					FRANK
			Doctor's orders.

	Ray frowns, looks at the two pianos across the room.

					RAY
			You got no right springing this on me, Frankie.
			It's unethical.

					FRANK
			Look, Ray. You want us to pack up, we'll pack up.

					RAY
			What am I gonna do? Put a record player out there?
				(exiting)
			Bad, Frankie. Bad.

					JACK
			What're you doing?

					FRANK
			Just until we find another girl.

					JACK
			Cancel, Frank.

					FRANK
			We're in for three weeks solid, Jack.

					JACK
			Better give her pneumonia.


	130	INT. STARFIRE LOUNGE - NIGHT (2 NIGHTS LATER)

	Jack and Frank, onstage. A small crowd.

					FRANK
			You know, my brother and I have been playing
			 together, gosh, I don’t know. Jack?

					JACK
			Thirty-one years.

	No response. As Frank clears his throat nervously,
	Jack studies the bored, brutally indifferent faces of the
	people in the lounge.

					FRANK
			Of course, uh, back then it was, uh, a little
			different. We were just kids. Just about the only
			one who would listen to us was the family cat,
			Cecil. We must’ve shaved three lives off old
			Cecil, huh, Jack?

	Frank laughs. His voice, eerily magnified by the
	microphone, is the only sound in the room.

					FRANK
			Yeah, well, anyway. It’s nice to be back here at
			the Ambassador Lounge, because this place has
			always been a very special place for Jack and I...

	Jack watches a woman dribble her drink accidentally and
	let out a peal of laughter.

					FRANK
			Why? I guess you could say it’s just... the people.

	As Frank launches into “People,” Jack watches the
	woman wipe her chin, still laughing, and we --

								CUT TO:


	131	EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT (LATER)

	Jack moves down the block, then starts to slow as he
	sees Susie up ahead, standing on the corner, talking with
	a man. She says something to him, laughs, and the man
	gives her a peck on the cheek and walks away. As she
	begins to search her purse, Jack approaches. Just as her
	face comes INTO VIEW, she senses him and turns,
	startled.

	Not Susie.

	For a moment, he just stares at her.

					JACK
			Sorry.


	132	INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - NIGHT (LATER)

	Jack enters and slams the door. He looks wired up,
	restless. Lighting a cigarette, he flicks on the TV, gets only
	haze, adjusts the antenna, still gets nothing, then gives it a
	pop with his fist... still nothing. Infuriated, he steps back,
	eyes the TV, then gives it a kick with his foot, sending it
	tumbling. He studies it, unsatisfied, turns to the bookcase,
	and clears a shelf with a sweep of his arms. He looks at
	the debris at his feet, sees the “Terry’s Tap Room” photo
	of he and Frank and picks it up, studying it as he drags on
	his cigarette. Sliding behind the piano, he props the photo
	there, and begins to play, searching for something
	interesting, but he’s too distracted. He stops, tries again,
	loses the groove after a few bars and then begins to pound
	the keys furiously in frustration. As he stops, his eyes shift
	to the photograph of he and Frank.

	Two skinny kids, smiling goofily.


	133	INT./EXT. FRANK’S CAR - NIGHT

	As Frank guides the car through the wet city streets,
	Jack cradles a whiskey flask, occasionally taking a hit.
	It’s two A.M. and raining hard.

					JACK
			We’re not getting paid then.

					FRANK
			No.

					JACK
			Nothing. We get nothing.

					FRANK
			I told you, Jack. It’s a telethon. No one gets a cent.

					JACK
			What’s it for?

					FRANK
			I don’t know. Some disease.

					JACK
			What disease?

					FRANK
			I don’t know.

					JACK
			You don’t know?

					FRANK
			It’s a disease, Jack. We’re against it. It’s not a
			moral decision.

					JACK
			What channel’s it on?

					FRANK
			Seventy-one.

					JACK
			Seventy-one? What’s seventy-one?

					FRANK
				(defensively)
			A channel. It’s just a little further down the dial,
			that’s all. Look, it’s publicity. Publicity’s publicity.
			Right?

	Jack stares at Frank, then takes another drink.

					JACK
			Right.


	134	INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - NIGHT

	Jerry Lewis need not fear. This is strictly a tinfoil and
	crepe paper operation. In front of a huge tote board, a kid
	in a wheelchair is doing basketball tricks before the
	camera.

					FRANK
			I’ll see when we’re on.

	As Frank leaves, Jack glances around the studio like he’s
	walked into a nightmare. At the phone bank, a heavyset
	MAN in a sweatshirt and cap looks over. Both the
	sweatshirt and the cap have “Earl” printed on them.

					EARL
			You the magician?

					JACK
			No.

					EARL
				(disappointed)
			Oh. What do you do?

	Jack points to the pianos across the room.

					JACK
			Piano.

					EARL
				(hopeful)
			Two at a time?

					JACK
			My brother and I. One each.

					EARL
				(disappointed again)
			Oh.

					JACK
				(indicating the kid in the wheelchair)
			What’s wrong with the kid?

					EARL
			Knee. Tore it up against St. Joseph’s. Right before
			the accident.

					JACK
			Accident?

					EARL
			The fire. The way we’re going, we’ll be lucky to
			buy a carton of jockstraps, let alone a new gym.

	As Jack registers this, Earl’s phone RINGS. Frank
	returns and gestures to the kid in the wheelchair.

					FRANK
			We’re on after Meadowlark.

					JACK
			Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking
			kidding me?

					FRANK
			What?

					JACK
			We’re playing for a goddamn gymnasium!

					FRANK
				(worried)
			What?

	Just then, the kid in the wheelchair rolls off and a guy in
	a cheap rented tux strides in front of the camera. He’s
	VINCE NANCY, the host.

					VINCE
			Let’s hear it for our own Jimmy Marshall, shall
			we?

	The audience APPLAUDS.

					VINCE
			As most of you know, young Jimmy put a nasty
			twist on that knee trying to win one for good ol’
			Grant High this year. Luckily, the doctors tell us
			Jimmy’ll be able to play next season. That is...
			if there is a next season.
				(Uncle Sam)
			That’s where you come in. Pick up that phone.
			Make a donation. Let’s keep our kids off the
			streets and in the gym where they belong.

	APPLAUSE.

					VINCE
			All right. Well, friends, what can I say about our
			next guest?
				(consulting a card)
			He, uh, they, uh, we are very pleased to have with
			us two of the most respected men in the musical
			entertainment field... The Fabulous Bunker Boys!
			Come on out here, guys.

	Vince gestures grandly to the left and Jack and Frank enter
	from the right.

					VINCE
			Whoops, there they are. Hey, nice suits, fellas.
				(to camera)
			Now, I know a lot of you amateur musicians out
			there are going to want to rap with these guys --
			and don’t worry. Right after they finish up here,
			they’re going to be manning the phones. Maybe
			we can even convince them to raffle off a few
			piano lessons if we’re lucky. What do you think?

	The audience APPLAUDS. Jack glares at Frank.

					VINCE
			Well all right then. What are we waiting for?
			Take it away, guys.

	As Jack and Frank begin to play. As the music rises, the
	studio becomes very quiet, almost still. Unfortunately,
	Jack and Frank are barely though the opening passage
	when a thunderously loud BELL begins to ring. Suddenly
	Vince steps out again.

					VINCE
			Uh oh. We know what that means, don’t we? It’s
			time to turn the big board over again.
				(to Jack, Frank)
			I’m afraid you fellas’ll just have to wait a minute.
			All right boys. Bring it out.

	Two post-pubescent giants roll out the tote board -- right
	in front of Jack and Frank. Jack looks homicidal.

					FRANK
			Jack...

	Jack kicks out the piano bench and starts to leave. Then,
	seeing the kid in the wheelchair, he grabs the basketball
	and fires it and Vince.

					VINCE
			What the...

					JACK
				(pointing at him)
			You’re a fucking creep, you know that. I oughta
			kick your ass.

					FRANK
				(whispering)
			Jack, you’re on television.

					JACK
			Shut up, Frank.

	Earl of the sweatshirt and cap puts his hand on Jack’s
	shoulder.

					EARL
			What do you say we go for a walk, pal?

					JACK
			Get your hand off me.

					EARL
			Come on friend. I can smell it on you. Get
			yourself a cup of coffee. You’ll forget what
			you’re angry about.

					JACK
			Go fuck yourself.

	Earl’s eyes go hard.

					EARL
			You’re a real tough guy when the ladies are
			around, aren’t you, Ace?

					JACK
			I don’t see any ladies here. Except maybe you.

	That does it. Earl takes hold of Jack’s collar and starts
	to wrestle him roughly toward the door.

					FRANK
			Hey, leave him alone.

					JACK
				(eying Earl’s sweatshirt, cap)
			Buy all your clothes at the same place, Earl?

	Earl shoves Jack out of the studio, hard. Jack stumbles
	back, ends up in a heap.

					EARL
			Who do you think you are, asshole? Liberace?


	135	EXT. STREET - NIGHT

	Jack walks down the street, mindless of the rain. Frank
	follows a few yards behind him.

					FRANK
			Jack. We just passed the car. JACK. This is a
			tuxedo. Three hundred dollars.
				(pause)
			You gonna talk to me? Or is this Jack’s famous
			silent act? Look, it was for publicity. Do you
			understand? Publicity.

	Jack stops and stares at Frank incredulously.

					JACK
			What are you? A fucking moron? It’s three
			o’clock in the morning, Frank. Who’s watching?
			Paperboys?

					FRANK
			Look. I didn’t know when we were going to be
			on until yesterday.

					JACK
			Basketballs, Frank. You had us playing for
			basketballs.

					FRANK
			I’m sorry. I should’ve checked it out. I screwed
			up. But that doesn’t mean you walk out in the
			middle of a gig.

					JACK
			WHAT?

					FRANK
			It wasn’t professional, Jack.

	Jack just stares at Frank, as if looking at a stranger.

					JACK
			What’s happened to you, Frank? You been kissing
			ass so long you’re starting to like it? You let that
			guy turn us into clowns tonight. We were always
			small-time, but we were never clowns, Frank.
			What’s happened to your dignity?

					FRANK
			Dignity? Who the hell are you to talk about dignity?

	Frank steps forward and reaches into Jack’s coat, coming
	away with the whiskey.

					FRANK
			This where you get your dignity, Jack? This
			where you get your courage?

	Jack tries to grab the bottle but Frank holds it away.

					FRANK
			No, let’s do it straight for once.

	Frank tosses the bottle into the street, where it
	SHATTERS.

					FRANK
			I want to explain something to you, little brother.
			See, there are people in this world who depend on
			me. I’ve got a wife, and two kids who expect to
			wake up every morning with food on the table and
			heat in the house. I got a mortgage. I got car
			payments. And, oh yeah, I got you. My little
			brother Jack who’s so cool and so hip and so
			fucking sure he’s better than everyone else. Don’t
			you think I’d like to walk up to one of these
			assholes and blow smoke in his face? Goddamn
			right I would. But I can’t. I have to be
			responsible, little brother. I have to make sure the
			numbers balance out in my favour at the end of
			each month so everyone can go on living their
			lives. You don’t win medals for it, but you can be
			damn sure you’d all take notice if I folded up
			shop. So don’t talk to me about dignity, little
			brother. You’re drawing on a weak hand.

	Jack stares at Frank through the rain, then turns and
	begins to walk away.

					FRANK
			Great. Terrific. Walk away. You’re good at that,
			Jack. You never could commit to anything, even
			a conversation.

					JACK
			Is that what that was? Sounded more like a speech
			to me. Next time save it for the PTA.

					FRANK
				(beat)
			You just had to, didn’t you, Jack? You couldn’t
			keep your cock in your pocket.

	Jack stops, glares at Frank.

					JACK
			Hey. Who I fuck and who I don’t fuck is none of
			your fucking business. Got it?

					FRANK
			It is when it affects my business.

					JACK
			Your business. YOUR business? Your business
			exists because of me.

					FRANK
			YOU? Who’re you kidding? I make the calendar,
			I pay the expenses. Christ, I even make your shoes
			are shined. What do you do? Show up for a couple
			hours a night and smoke cigarettes.

					JACK
			Frank. If someone requested “Chopsticks,” you’d
			ask for the sheet music.

					FRANK
				(stung)
			If it wasn’t for me, little brother, you’d be playing
			for dimes out of the back of a truck.

					JACK
			Yeah, you’re a real pro, Frank. You were doing
			such a bang up job a few months ago, you had
			‘em paying us NOT to play. That’s fucking genius.

	Enraged by this, Frank glares at Jack, then suddenly bolts
	forward, drilling hard with his shoulder, driving Jack
	into the wall.

					JACK
			Jesus, Frank! What the fuck’s the matter with you?

	Jack twists Frank around and pushes him off, but Frank
	charges back.

					JACK
			Goddamnit, Frank! Knock it off!

	As they pound off the wall again, Jack’s anger suddenly
	multiplies on itself, as of fuelled by fifteen years of
	frustration. Flinging Frank against the wall, he becomes
	the aggressor, pounding, pulling, and slamming him in
	fitful rage. Frank is suddenly scared.

					FRANK
			Jack!... Jack!...

	Frank slides down the cement wall, trying to protect
	himself. Unrelenting, Jack comes down with a vicious
	fist at Frank’s face, catching his fingers instead.

					FRANK
			My hands! My hands!

	Jack grabs one of Frank’s hands roughly, twisting the
	fingers back.

					FRANK
				(terrified)
			Jack!

	Jack twists Frank’s fingers harder. A knuckle cracks.

					FRANK
			Jack! JACK!

	Frank’s voice ECHOES high above the SOUND of the
	rain. Jack stops, looks at Frank’s hand, still clasped in
	his own. Letting go, he stares at his own hands, the skin
	split and bleeding. He no longer looks dangerous. He
	looks hollow, frightened.

					JACK
			I’m through with it. I can’t do it anymore.

	Before Frank can say anything, Jack turns away, leaving
	his brother on the sidewalk, and disappears in the rain.


	136	EXT. CITY SKYLINE - DAWN (A FEW HOURS LATER)

					WOMAN’S VOICE
				(singing)
			“Who can take a sunrise
			Sprinkle it with dew...
			Toss it in the air
			And make a groovy lemon pie
			The candy man can...
			The candy man can...”


	137	INT. DINER  - DAWN (SAME TIME)

	Jack, looking like he’s gone fifteen rounds, is sitting at the
	table by the window, his head against the glass. He opens
	one eye, sees a waitress smiling over him. Monica
	Moran.

					MONICA
			You’re one of the “Fabulous” guys. I remember.

					JACK
			Wrong number.

					MONICA
			Ah, you can’t kid me. I see you every day.

	She points behind the cash register, to the wall covered
	with photographs. Frank. Himself. Susie...

					MONICA
			That’s why I took the job. The day I came in I seen
			you and your brother’s faces hanging there and I
			figured it was like a sign or something. Like
			destiny.

	Jack looks away from the photo of Susie, nods.

					JACK
			How you doing, Monica?

					MONICA
			Swell. Only it’s Blanche here.

	Jack nods, starts to take his coffee, but Monica pushes it
	away and turns over a fresh cup.

					MONICA
			Nah, don’t touch that. That’s three hours cold.
				(pouring)
			Yeah, I been sitting over there just waiting for
			you to wake up. Finally, I figured maybe you had
			an appointment or something.
				(shaking her head)
			Boy, it’s weird, huh? You meet people, and you
			think you’re never gonna to see them again... 

	Jack studies Monica’s body and she pulls away with the
	coffee pot. She notices.

					MONICA
			Guess you got caught in the rain, huh?

					JACK
				(looking at her)
			Yeah, I got caught in the rain.

	Monica looks at Jack, then laughs a little nervously.

					MONICA
			God, I still can’t get over it. You just walking in
			here...

					JACK
			When do you punch out?

					MONICA
				(swallowing)
			You’re my last ticket.

	Monica looks a little nervous, but hopeful. Jack studies
	her -- it would be easy -- but then his eyes shift to the
	photo of Susie again.

					JACK
			Well, button up on the way home, Blanche. It’s
			cold out there.


	138	INT. JACK’S APARTMENT - EARLY MORNING (AN HOUR LATER)

	As Jack enters, he finds Nina sitting by the piano, trying to
	master a paddleball toy.

					NINA
				(not looking up)
			Hi, Jack.

	As Nina whacks the tiny red ball off the paddle, it makes
	a dull, snapping SOUND. Thwack. Thwack. Finally, she
	misses, looks up, sees Jack’s rain-rumpled tux.

					NINA
			You better take that tux in, Jack. I could drop it off
			this afternoon.

	Jack says nothing, takes off the jacket. Nina starts with the
	paddle again. THWACK. THWACK.

					NINA
			You want me to make some coffee?

	Jack hangs his jacket on the closet door and pauses by the
	bookcase. Everything he had knocked off has been
	carefully replaced. He runs his fingers over an ashtray
	-- clean.

					NINA
			Jack...?

	Jack turns and watches Nina slap the ball. THWACK.
	THWACK. Missing, she looks up.

					NINA
			... Coffee?

	Jack shakes his head slowly and Nina goes back to the
	paddle. THWACK. THWACK. THWACK. The sound is
	driving Jack crazy.

					JACK
				(quietly)
			Could you stop that please?

					NINA
				(not hearing)
			How ‘bout eggs? I could make you some eggs if
			you want...

	THWACK. THWACK. THWACK. Suddenly, Jack steps
	forward and whips the toy out of her hands.

					JACK
			Will you knock it off with that fucking thing?!

	Nina looks up, startled.

					JACK
			You’re driving me nuts.
				(mocking her)
			“You want some eggs, Jack? you want some
			coffee?” What’s the matter with you? You’re not
			my housekeeper and I’m not your fucking father.
			I can’t babysit you every time Mama gets an itch!

	Nina, flushed with fear and hurt, turns and slips out the
	window, up the fire escape. Jack stares after her, still
	seething, then looks at the paddle in his hand, loses his
	anger. He notices Eddie staring at him.

					JACK
			What’re you looking at?


	139	EXT. THE FIRE ESCAPE - MORNING (A FEW MINUTES LATER)

	Jack climbs out his window and scales the iron ladder
	to the roof, where Nina is sitting, dangling her legs over
	the rain gutter, chin in hand.

	Jacks sits next to her, drops the paddle into her lap.

					NINA
			You’re having a bad day, right?

					JACK
			Right.

					NINA
			It’s okay. My Ma used to have lots of those.
			Sometimes that’s why I came down. Even when
			there was no one sleeping over.

	Jack nods, studies the skyline.

					JACK
			What do you say we go over to Empire and get a
			couple Coney’s.

					NINA
			Can’t. I’m going to the zoo with Howard.

					JACK
			Howard?

					NINA
			Ma says I can’t call him Bigfoot anymore.

	Suddenly, from down in the street, the SOUND of a car
	horn is heard. Nina looks down.

					NINA
			Uh-oh. I think he’s early.

	Nina gets up, pauses by the ladder.

					NINA
			You ever go to the zoo, Jack?

					JACK
			Sure.

					NINA
			No one ever took me to the zoo before. Boy, he
			must REALLY be serious.

	Jack watches as Nina takes the ladder, starts to descend.

					JACK
			Hey.
				(as she stops)
			Teach you later.

	Nina looks at him, a little surprised.

					JACK
			What’re you going to do? Go around playing
			“Jingle Bells” the rest of your life?

	Nina smiles, then disappears over the side of the
	building. Jack picks up the paddle she’s left behind,
	studies it.

	THWACK. THWACK.

	As the SOUND of the paddle ball FADES, it’s
	overtaken by the sound of a bluesy piano and we --

	DISSOLVE TO:


	140	INT. THE TINY JAZZ CLUB - DAY

	MOVING INTO IT SLOWLY, hearing the MUSIC long
	before the CAMERA reveals Jack, at the far end of the
	room, sitting alone at the piano. It’s afternoon and sharp
	blades of sunlight slice into the ghostly room from street
	level windows. After a moment, a huge figure appears in
	the f.g., his back to us. It’s Henry, the owner. He watches
	Jack until he finishes.

					HENRY
			I’ve got Tuesdays and Thursdays open the rest of
			the month.

	Jack runs his hands lightly over the keys, just touching
	them, making no sound.


	141	EXT. SUSIE’S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY)

	Susie steps out of her apartment building, pauses by the
	mailboxes.

					SUSIE
			You’re risking your life, you know.

	Jack is leaning against a car, watching her.

					JACK
			You got a gun?

	Silence. Jack pushes away from the car, comes closer.

					JACK
			You look good.

					SUSIE
			You look like shit.

					JACK
			No, I mean it. You look good.

					SUSIE
			I mean it too. You look like shit.

					JACK
			So how’s the cat food business?

					SUSIE
			Terrific. I’m doing vegetables now.

	Jack nods.

					JACK
			What kind?

					SUSIE
			Carrots, peas. None of the important ones.

	Jack nods, taps the cigarette on the railing, thinking.

					JACK
			You know, the other night...

					SUSIE
			I was out of line.

					JACK
			No. I was out of line.

	Susie looks a little surprised by this.

					SUSIE
			Well, I was a little rough on Egghead. I mean, beats
			the hell out of me, but... I kinda miss him.

					JACK
			Yeah, well, he grows on you after awhile.

	As Jack stares off down the street, Susie studies his face.

					SUSIE
			So... you find another girl?

					JACK
			I didn’t look.

	As Jack looks up, Susie locks into his eyes, vulnerable
	to him, then glances away.

					SUSIE
			Well, I’m gonna be late.
				(singing)
			“Peas, peas try our peas
			Our peas are a deli-ca-see...”
			From “Strangers In The Night” to that. It’s a funny
			 world, huh?

	Jack nods.

					SUSIE
			Yeah, well, ‘bye, Baker,

	Susie brushes by Jack and heads up the street.

					JACK
			Hey.

	She stops, turns.

					JACK
			Am I gonna see you again?

					SUSIE
				(not giving in)
			What do you think?

					JACK
			Yeah. I think I’m gonna see you again.

	Susie looks at him suspiciously. Jack smiles at her.

					JACK
			Intuition.

	Susie just looks at Jack, saying nothing, then she can’t stop
	herself... she smiles.


	142	EXT. FRANK'S HOUSE  - DAY

	As the cab pulls away, Jack is left standing alone in the the
	street. He glances at the house, then goes to the front door.
	As he presses the new doorbell, a cacophony of CHIMES resonates
	inside the house and a moment later, the door swings open.

	Little Cindy, in a lollipop-print dress. Jack eyes her warily,
	still not sure he's in her good graces.

					CINDY
				(cheerfully)
			Hi, Uncle Jack.

					JACK
				(relieved)
			Hi, kid. Nice dress.

					CINDY
			Thanks.

					JACK
			Daddy around?

	Cindy steps aside, points down the hall.

					JACK
			Thanks.


	143	OMITTED


	144	INT. “BAKER BOYS” ROOM - DAY

	Frank is taking things off the shelves, putting them into
	boxes. Coming to the Hula Girl Hideaway monkey, Frank
	studies it curiously, then gives the arm a flick, igniting the
	little torch in the other. He tosses it in a box.

					JACK
			You don’t want that?

	Frank turns. Jack steps in.

					FRANK
			How the hell’d you get in here?

					JACK
			Cindy. We’re pals now.

					FRANK
			Great. Have your pal show you the way out.

	As Frank turns back to the shelf, Jack just glances around
	the room, not leaving.

					JACK
			Everything goes, that the idea?

					FRANK
			That’s the idea.

					JACK
			You’re just throwing it away?

	Frank turns, a little shocked.

					FRANK
			No. Into the garage. I’m just getting too old for
			trophy dens, that’s all. And, anyway, it’s about
			time Little Frank had his own room.

					JACK
			You gonna paint?

					FRANK
			We’re gonna paint.

					JACK
			What color?

					FRANK
				(turning)
			Look, Jack. Let’s cut the bullshit. You came here
			to talk business, right? Okay, fine. We’ll put the
			other night behind us and in a couple weeks
			everything’ll be the same again. Okay? Now you
			can go.

	Frank goes back to the boxes.

					JACK
			I didn’t come here to talk business.
				(beat)
			I’m not coming back, Frank.

	Frank stops, looks at Jack.

					FRANK
			So what’s there to talk about?

					JACK
			We’re still brothers.

					FRANK
			I’m touched, Jack. Really.

					JACK
			Frank...

					FRANK
			Look, Jack. If you want to piss away everything
			we’ve built over fifteen years, that’s fine. Just
			spare me the ruminations on brotherly love.

					JACK
			Listen to me, Frank...

					FRANK
			I don’t want to listen to you anymore, Jack.
			What’re you going to tell me? That I wasted your
			life? That I twisted your arm for fifteen years?
			Well, forget it, little brother. That’s a lie.
			Hear me? A fucking lie.

					JACK
				(with sudden anger)
			You’re right. Okay? You’re right. I don’t blame
			you, Frank. I don’t blame anyone. I just can’t do it
			anymore.
				(beat)
			I’m drying up inside, Frank. I’ve been drying up
			for years. Do you understand? Somewhere along
			the way I started to close down. It’s like I had this
			big house and one day I just started painting the
			windows black, one by one. I mean, I sit in the
			fucking Hilton or the Sheraton or wherever,
			practically every night of my life, and from the
			minute I get onstage, I’m waiting for it to end. We
			play the same goddamn songs the same goddamn
			way every night. That isn’t enough for me. It just
			doesn’t mean anything to me.
				(beat)
			It’s dishonest. I can’t do that anymore. I’ve been
			lying to myself long enough.

	Frank stares at Jack for a moment, then turns back to the
	boxes.

					FRANK
			If you see anything you want, take it.

	Jack stands there, staring at his brother’s back, defeated.
	He starts to leave, then something catches his eye. From a
	dusty shelf, he pulls out a bottle.

					JACK
			Okay if I take this?

	As Frank turns, Jack tosses the bottle to him, hard. Frank
	scrambles to catch it, then looks at it. It’s the bottle from
	the photograph in Jack’s apartment.

					JACK
			Come on, Frank. I’m trying.

	Frank looks up, reacting to the nakedness of Jack’s
	statement, then looks at the bottle. It seems to hold some
	special magic for him.

					JACK
			How’re your hands?

					FRANK
			My hands are fine. Don’t worry about my hands.
			And don’t worry about me. I don’t need this any
			more than you do, little brother. We both know I
			can make just as much teaching “Campdown
			Races” to these snotty kids in the neighbourhood
			as being a lounge rat. Don’t kid yourself.

	Jack just nods. Frank studies him for a long moment, then
	looks at the bottle again. Finally, making a decision, he
	flips it back to Jack.

					FRANK
			Open it.

	Jack just looks at him.

					FRANK
			Open the fucking bottle.

	As Jack holds the bottle carefully, he watches Frank grab
	a handful of souvenir shot glasses.

					FRANK
			What’s your pleasure? We got the airport Ramada.
			We got the Travelodge on 410. And... the Mallory.

					JACK
			I’ll take the Mallory.

					FRANK
			Forget it. I want the Mallory. You take the
			Travelodge.

	Jack smiles slightly and takes the glass. As he and Frank
	settle on the tiny piano benches, Frank notices the dust on
	the glasses.

					FRANK
			Looks like these got a few years on them.

					JACK
			This’ll kill ‘em.

	Frank nods. Jack hesitates, then breaks the seal on the
	bottle, pours. As they swallow, each grimaces, looks at
	the other.

					JACK/FRANK
				(in unison)
			Not bad.

	It suddenly grows silent, each sitting in his old familiar
	place, staring into his glass.

					JACK
			How come you keep them in tune?

	Frank looks suprised, then shrugs.

					FRANK
			Habit.

	Frank looks at his glass and his mind leads him to
	something uncomfortable.

					FRANK
			Maybe this is horrible. I mean, I know it’s like
			breathing to you... But sometimes, when I was up
			there with you, playing, it was almost like I had it
			too. That feeling.

	Jack glances at Frank. He looks old, sitting on the tiny
	bench. Suddenly, Frank lifts his glass, eyes the tiny hotel
	rendered there.

					FRANK
			Jesus, when was the last time we played the
			Mallory?

					JACK
				(thinking)
			‘78... November.

					FRANK
			Right. It was someone’s birthday. Halloran?

					JACK
			Daughter. Sweet sixteen.

					FRANK
			Christ, that’s right. How could I forget. What a
			nightmare.

					JACK
			She asked for it.

					FRANK
			I told Halloran we didn’t do vocals, but he said --

					JACK AND FRANK
				(in unison)
			“What my Sissy wants, my Sissy gets.”

					JACK
			She got it alright.

	Jack and Frank glance at one another, little boy mischief
	glowing in their faces. Suddenly, they swivel on the
	pianos and begin to play “You’re Sixteen”.

					JACK AND FRANK
				(singing)
			“She comes on like a dream
			Peaches and cream
			Lips like strawberry wine
			She’s sixteen, she’s beautiful
			and she’s mine...

			Ribbons and curls
			Ooh, what a girl
			Eyes that sparkle and shine
			You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful
			and you’re mine...”

	As Jack and Frank finish, they’re laughing. After a moment,
	their voices die and the room is quiet again. Full of ghosts.
	Each stares at the tiny keyboard before him, awkward with
	the intimacy of the moment. Is quiet for a very long time.
	Finally, Frank looks over.

					FRANK
			Well... One more time?

	Jack glances up and sees that Frank has his empty glass
	held out. He picks up the bottle and pours.

					JACK
			One more time...

			FADE OUT

			THE END